Do you tell readers about sensitive subjects in MS?

[karenbb]

I'll just come out and say it--my book has a fair amount of sex in it. I take great pride in writing good sex scenes, void of porn words, and always with a purpose, not just sex for the sake of sex. I recently sent my MS to a larger group of readers, still all friends. I received quite an eye-opening e-mail when I found out that one of my old college friends was completely horrified by the sex (truly horrified). It never occurred to me to "warn" readers about it (and frankly I was a little surprised that a woman in her late 30s would be horrified by sex, but that's an entirely different story). I don't want to apologize for my story because I'm proud to put my name on it, but as I continue to send it to new readers, should I give people a heads up?

Has anyone else had something like this happen? Really, it could pertain to any content that people might be sensitive about--sex, religion, violence.

I'm just assuming that agents have seen anything and everything and won't care, but do I need to worry about that too?

[Margo]

First, I'm not sure how you would tell readers you have sex and/or violence in your story or novel (the cover symbolism, maybe), unless we're just talking about beta readers. Yes, I do tell them, as I completely horrified one beta reader by having sex (one pretty tame paragraph) in one chapter and a fade-to-black mutilation in the next chapter. He respectfully informed me that he wasn't my target audience and said he couldn't read for me anymore.

Every writer has to make the sex and violence decision at some point. Whichever way you turn, you will delight some readers and turn others off. There is no safe decision. Someone will complain no matter what. So this, for me, is a question of what I want to read and what I want to write.

The only thing I would say as a caution is that I think consistency is important. I've seen readers get really upset with authors for changing from lots of graphic sex to no sex and even more upset if the author goes the other way around. It seems to violate reader expectation in a way that some see as a betrayal of the fan base.

As far as agents/editors go, so long as you are writing true to genre and imprint, I doubt it's a problem.

On a personal note, I vote yes on well-written sex and yes on character-driven violence, both as reader and writer.

[L.M. Pruitt]

I'm always under the assumption, when I pick up certain books, that there's going to be a certain level of sex and/or violence. I read a lot of Urban Fantasy, so I expect there to be blood. I also read a lot of Romance, so I expect there to be sex. It would be different if I picked up a YA novel; I wouldn't expect to read about a decapitation, or about a threesome, no matter if said events might actually occur in real life. As an adult (or that's what they've been calling me--there are days I have my doubts), reading "adult" material, it's rare that I'm shocked by sex or violence, so I don't understand why any other rational adult would be.

I suppose my point is that, for the most part, genre placement should dictate the level of "explicit" activities. Heck, even books written mainly as erotica with a thin veil of romance are specified on the back cover as "racy" or some other word. If your reader knows the general genre of your book, they have an idea of what to expect, without you giving anything away.

[cheekychook]

This is an issue I've thought about a lot. My current WIP also contains "a fair amount of sex" and I decided to err on the side of caution when I started giving it to readers. Actually, I proceeded with an abundance of caution. My critique group leader still frequently jokes about how one of my earliest emails to her asked "So, is there a group policy concerning language or sex scenes?" Little did I know my critique group was filled with people who within a few short weeks would be emailing me directly asking (anxiously) when the next sex scene might be submitted for review. In any case, I'm glad I asked first because I didn't know what their reaction would be. I asked both of my beta readers (people who are not in the crit group) before I gave them pages too.

People tend to fall into two distinct camps regarding sex scenes; they either want details or they want to be lead right up to the moment and then left to use their imagination. A timely example of this distinction occurs amongst readers of the Twilight series. For those who haven't read the serious (spoiler alert) the entire first 3 books are basically building the sexual tension between 2 of the main characters...in the beginning of book 4, when those two characters finally get together, the author does a fade-to-black. For some readers that was great; they thought it was beautiful and tasteful. Others were left yelling "Are you kidding me???" in their kitchen at 3am as they flipped back and forth to make sure they hadn't skipped a page. (Ok, maybe that was just me who was yelling in her kitchen, but I know plenty of others were left feeling a bit ripped off. Not to mention that there are a bazillion fan fiction sites where people have gone to great lengths to "finish" the scene they felt was woefully under-addressed in the actual book. Or so I've heard. *cough* And, yes, I know it's a YA series, but anyone who has grown up reading Judy Blume knows that doesn't matter one bit.)

Now, obviously it was the author's choice regarding how much to tell (or in this case not tell), and it should always be the author's choice. In the same manner it should the readers choice to have some idea of what they're getting into reading. You're not going to get an honest critique of how your steamy scene played if your reader is busy being offended/embarrassed/covering their eyes, plus you have to deal with the aftermath of their upset. The best way to avoid that is to ask first....then, if you're neurotic like me (not that there's anything wrong with that), ask again and test their sensibilities with a tame scene (to make sure they're agreeing to read what they think they're agreeing to read). I know it seems like if we're all adults it should be fine, but that's not how it works. People have very, very different views on what's okay and what's too much when it comes to "sensitive subject matter". Don't be afraid to ask specific questions of your readers----compare the content to other books they might have read or let them tell you what their limits are. You shouldn't have to feel like you need to apologize for your scenes, particularly if they're scenes you take pride in writing, so make sure your readers are people who can handle them. I would think this is only necessary in the beta/critique stage of the process. When looking for an agent I'd make sure to look for one who handles genres that would likely contain sex scenes and then I would think you'd be okay (l've been wondering that myself lately since that will be my next step). As far as "warning" readers once you're published goes, the blurbs on the back cover usually take care of that.If I see the words "Steamy beach read", for example, I'll assume there's gonna be some sex...or at least some well-detailed humidity. ;)

And don't worry, there are plenty of readers out there who truly appreciate a well-written sex scene.

[HillaryJ]

I just come right out and say it, just like a movie rating system. That way, people have been appropriately advised and, while they may not like it, they can't say they didn't know. Terms like "graphic" are, of course, subjective, but there is no perfect system.

SAMPLE WARNINGS
Contains sex and violence.
Contains graphic violence.
Contains graphic sex.
Contains seemingly pointless death of beloved main character.
Contains adult language.
Contains drug use.
Contains big dog that may be possessed by demon.

[karenbb]

Thanks everyone--interesting subject to discuss on all fronts, not just about sex--the violence thing is interesting to me too. If it was unclear, I was speaking strictly in terms of beta readers, crit groups, etc.. I think I've come away from this just knowing it's probably best with beta readers to make sure they understand the scope of the content, not the details, and they can make their own decision about whether or not they care to help you out.

I was in the camp of disappointed in the kitchen at 3 AM by Twilight, and my own way of dealing with writing sex is a direct product of feeling let down with sex in books that I have otherwise enjoyed. I hate being led down a path by an author and then have them give me absolutely zip, but I also don't like the Nora Roberts school of sex...the woman is middle-aged in a pantsuit for God's sake and she's writing things that make me blush! Personally, I really like the way Curtis Sittenfeld deals with it (especially in American Wife) because there's always enough info to make it interesting, but there's also a very normal and human aspect of it--recognizing that it isn't an entirely glamorous and perfect act.

As far as my own approach goes, I did every sex scene quite differently...there are several "near misses" at the beginning, just to help build the tension, and the scene where they finally do it is fairly detailed (although I'm always a fan of leaving some things to the imagination). Those beyond are everything from a paragraph or two, some that are several pages but just leading up to it (in instances where it's the dialogue that happens beforehand is what really tells you what's going on between the two of them). I tried not to think about it too much--I just did what made sense at the time.

For those of you who have written this sort of thing (sex or violence), did you vary your scenes or do they all share a similar degree of detail? What about people who have written more than one book? Did you have issues with changing the amount of detail and beta readers being disappointed with the change?

Hillary, love your way of doing it!

[shadow]

Well I have a bit of violence in my book so I usually do tell my readers that there will be blood and gore and swords and battles and head chopping.

[polymath]

I believe it behooves a writer-critiquer to see past personal sentiments as much as possible and focus on writing craft and art. Providence knows, I've run the gamut of "that's not to my taste," "I don't read X-Y-Z-genre," "I don't read in that age or intellectual or cultural group," and "vulgarity or violence isn't my cup of tea" in writing workshops. I'm of the mindset a writing workshop audience consents to be captive to each other's writing tastes. The questions I look to have answered or answer is do the premises and motifs fit the story, the theme, the message, does it work, etc.? Sex, violence, drugs, rock and roll, drunkenness, tobacco use, fundamentalist religious or political or cultural points of view, alternative lifestyles, rebellion, taboo topics like adultery, pedophilia, cannibalism, rape, incest, etc., edgy topics and edgy themes are as numerous as the human condition allows for them to be.

Sex is fun, is complicated, is angst ridden as messages isn't enough message for me as a reader or a writer. Big game hunts for the sake of author surrogacy don't float my quintan mangoy* either. If explicit sex is central to the story, explicit sex is central to the story. I'm an adult. I can take adult themes. I think for myself. I've no problem separating myself from sympathy with the devil narratives either. I can enjoy them without turning into a villain myself. For that matter, there's not much that's taboo to me, in reading and writing.

My private opinions and sentiments aside, as a crtiquer-reader, I believe it's my duty to read and comment objectively for the benefit of any given story's ehancement. One question I ask up front, who's the target audience bracket? I like to know the answer within the first several hundred words, like I like to know the genre. Then read and comment accordingly.

* big canoe