Summary for Big Mouth Blues -- YA Contemporary

Ugh. You got stuck writing a synopsis. Help is on the way.
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Summary for Big Mouth Blues -- YA Contemporary

Post by Dana-Lynn » May 1st, 2015, 3:12 pm

Summary/back-cover blurb for my YA realistic fiction contemporary novel Big Mouth Blues. I think one thing that might really be lacking in this is voice? Can anyone help me with that?

ANY feedback, advice, suggestions, rewrites will be very much appreciated!


Fourteen-year-old Kacey Dalton is a blabber mouth who no one suspects is keeping a colossal secret.

Determined to protect her mother and sisters, Kacey takes the brunt of her father's violent mood swings. Her dad swears that if she tells anyone he'll shut her big mouth up forever. And her mom's no help, turning a blind eye to Kacey's pain and keeping her own secrets.

Kacey struggles to keep quiet and hold her family together when all she wants is to be able to be a real teenager and be free of fear. Her efforts to escape into her best friend's happy family seem doomed to fail because her dry wit and her tendency to blurt out what she feels without thinking gets her into trouble no matter where she goes. As her dad's explosive rages escalate, Kacey's bruises get harder to hide--especially from Wade, her longtime crush and the only one who senses something wrong in her life. She's afraid to tell Wade the truth, scared he'll reject her like her dad always has and she'll lose him for good. Through Kacey's inner conflict between her stubbornly independent self and her need for someone who understands what her life is really like behind closed doors, she must find courage to take the chance and break her silence.

But if she saves herself, Kacey risks losing the relationships of everyone she cares about. And standing up to her dad might just get her killed.

At times heart-wrenching, humorous, and hopeful, Big Mouth Blues weaves a story of true friendship with a resilient young girl's journey of triumph.

Thank you for your help!
~ Danalynn
*It's the writer's job to keep upping the ante on the complications, starting a bigger problem the minute the last one's resolved, keeping the reader turning those pages.*

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Re: Summary for Big Mouth Blues -- YA Contemporary

Post by hauntedsouls » June 27th, 2017, 3:41 pm

This is a very interesting premise. I love the first line! But then it begins to be a bit repetitive. I would call her father's violent mood swings what they are - violent abuse. Also, don't change POV. This is about Kacey and no one else. So, in the second line I would say; Kacey knows she must keep quiet, as her dad's been clear there will be dire consequences if she talks. All too aware that her mother will do nothing to save her, Kacey believes she has secrets of her own.
Some of the writing needs to be cleaned up too. A few sentences are a bit clunky.
I know it's not grammatically incorrect, but I don't begin sentences with But or And unless it's absolutely necessary. So it could be:
Kacey knows a deadly truth. If she saves herself, she risks losing the most meaningful relationships in her life. Still, standing up to her dad might just get her killed (AND SAY WHY).

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