Afraid to Finish?

[CharleeVale]

So, I'm about 2/3 of the way through editing my manuscript. It should be done by New Years.

I'm about to admit something, I'm kind of afraid to finish. Because I know that once that happens, the people I've promised could read it are going to want me to keep that promise. It's terrifying, putting your baby out there for criticism. Good lord, when did I get so close to finishing?

CV

[Down the well]

It is a vulnerable moment for a writer the first time they let someone else see their WIP. But it's the next step to improving and truly finishing the work. Remember that you wrote your story to be shared, and having someone read it is the only way to measure how well all those imaginings in your head got translated to the page.

Congratulations on being so close to finishing.

[Sommer Leigh]

Congrats to you! But don't be afraid to finish. Take a big big breath and put down the last word. I know how terrifying it is to put it out there, but you'll be glad you did. While your insides are afraid that all these characters you're proud of and all the writing you think is looking pretty good might secretly not be very good at all and someone is going to tell you and then not only will you learn that your writing sucks but you'll also learn you are blinded to good writing because all this time you thought you'd done a good job.......the truth is, your readers are going to find things here and there they don't like or think could be stronger, but they will never say the terrible things the voice inside your stomach is saying to you. Even if they tell you it isn't so awesome, they will say it in a way that will help you make it awesome. Their criticism can only make it better, and that is what you want. You don't want a bunch of people who only say it is great and you should totally get it published like, call Harper Collins now!!! You want the criticism. You want the ability to polish it up bright and shiny. Your readers will never be as unhelpful as that voice in your stomach. Remember that.

[sierramcconnell]

I was afraid to even start back on my 2009 NaNo because of a friend who gave me the "What the Hell is this?" sort of 'help'. Prior to 2009's NaNo, I hadn't written much in two years. All the writing I did was group or pair for RPGs and then polished into fanfic. I could do that because it was existing people with quick gratification, and it took forever for people to beg me to do it.

"OMG, it's you. You have to do this! I remember you from [insert fandom here], and you're amazing!"

I look back on that stuff and I can't believe that they liked it. It's so full of errors! But...they liked it because it was me. I could spin a good story and flow a sentence. Even in the middle of RPG groups and fanfic partnering, people were wowed. I got kicked out of a group for acting too much like a character and moderating too well.

...what...?

Anyway, all that had helped boister me back into trying again. So I did. I shook. I got violently ill. I cried and I waffled. But I wrote. And I wrote. And I kept on.

Never ever once have I ever felt THE END fits at the end of my manuscript. There's always a tweak to go or a paragraph I want to add. A chapter needing revising or a sentence that needs removal. It just never gets the umph of the angelic chorus of FINISHED!

Which is probably why I like writing so much. I don't ever have to call it finished. Even when I finally submit it and get it published. There's hundreds of people out there who'll write speculative fanfic about it. Hell, even I'll do that. I wander around the house and make things up about the characters outside the realm of the book based on the Million Strand Theory enough...

So if you're afraid to finish, just tell yourself it'll never get done.

Never. Even when you close this book. There may be others.

And if people look at it, tell them at the start that it needs fixing, be gentle. Never give it to someone who can't be gentle. Remind them also you're about to hand them a 400 page document. The pen can be mighter than the sword, but nothing beats a bound manuscript when it flies across the room. You can throw that son-of-a-bitch pretty good when in a red-inked rage.

Also, first drafts should never go out. Those are for you to look through, after a month at least has gone by.

Yes. You finish it, print it out, do a happy dance and place it in a drawer for a nap. Go do something else for a month. Because a fresh mind will make you see things differently. Those inside jokes you thought were so funny?

You'll be wondering what the hell that sentence was for a month from now. Why did you write that there? Then in Chapter Six when so-n-so's fifth uncle is floating in the water and the foreshadowing hits, you'll realize it wasn't as funny (or clear) as you thought. Rewrite~!

It will also save you a lot of "I SUCK" grief when you get the first draft back covered in red because you missed a bazillion grammar and sentence structure errors. It will also save your beta's brain and forehead, because they won't be slamming it into the table from having to catch them all and feeling bad to have to tell you, "Stop using these...no, please don't cry...you don't suck..."

I know, long post is long, but after seven...no...eight beta processes on one novel, and writing for many many years...I understand. I have finished so many works that have only been betaed and posted online, and finished books that will eventually be published (crosses self) so I totally, totally understand... [hugs]

(I also have a folder of ones I will get to, I promise. XD)

[Mira]

Well, first of all, congratulations!! That's an amazing accomplishment, Charlee. You should be so proud! Yay! :)

Well, my advice.....I don't know if this fits for you, but, honestly, I'd separate finishing the work from showing it to people. You can finish it and still tell people you're working on it, until you're ready to show folks.

That's what I'd do - just to get myself to finish it. :)

Also, you don't have to show it to the folks you are nervous about first. You could show it to other people, people with less of an emotional charge to it all.

Protect yourself - that's what I say! Be gentle yourself, and let your work be seen slowly and only in the ways in which you wish it to be seen.

And, once again, congratulations!

[bcomet]

OMG, the first person I let read my first "finished" novel (after FIVE full self-edits) was my husband.
He can't lie about art. He always says, "Well, that's a good start..." (when he DOESN'T GET IT!) and swears he would tell me if it's no good. He feels to lie about that would do me more harm and further, like I said, he can't.
And he's extremely well read. (He gets books I can't unravel. Loves them even. Unravels them for me bit by bit. Like he's reading Mason and Dixon by Thomas Pynchon ––a second time–– a chapter every Sunday out loud to me in bed. If I miss something in the dialect or definitions or what's exactly going on, he summarizes. Pretty cool. I realize this. I'm starting to love Pynchon. I thought he was just too much of a manly writer for me before.)
So, I handed my novel over to him and I then watched him like a hawk. Every. Expression.
Boy Oh Boy, is he Brave.

And, it was good. His looks were good. His comments were helpful. He read it again.

Wow.

So all I can say is don't give it first to someone who would be indelicate with you.
You do need them to tell you the truth, but with tact, so choose a wise and honest soul, someone you trust, someone capable of understanding what you and your work are about.
Maybe don't give it til you are ready.
Maybe give it in small parts. When you give it out to be read, give it to someone who will not just pass judgment, but to someone who will say: "This works because..." "I felt this part could be deepened by..." i.e., specifics that are helpful. And remember Nathan's sandwich rule. Don't let your baby out without it.

And, and, and... Congratulations!!!!

Me, I can't do the copy edits. The music of the words gets all conjangled. I need a reason to go in there and do that tedious bit
(like an editor, an agent, a publisher). Otherwise, why torture myself. Any suggestions there?