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by mindbuilder
June 8th, 2012, 9:15 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: fantasy query: Arkarum
Replies: 4
Views: 1533

Re: fantasy query: Arkarum

I agree with most of what Quill posted. Some additional feedback: "mankind" - capitalize it as a noun. "bowels of Hell", "poured forth their scourge", "pockets of human resistance" - sounds like a Terminator movie. Unoriginal intro. If I were an editor, I wouldn't have read further than these two se...