Search found 14 matches

by johnh27
May 10th, 2012, 5:52 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query: Brotherly Love
Replies: 2
Views: 949

Revised Query: Brotherly Love

Thanks for the feedback. I've done a little more research and a lot of revision. Please let me know what you think. John H Subject: Query – Literary Fiction When eighteen-year-old Will and sixteen-year-old Annie fall in love, there is a major complication – he is her adopted brother. BROTHERLY LOVE,...
by johnh27
December 3rd, 2011, 7:34 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: How to handle request for an exclusive read
Replies: 5
Views: 1945

Re: How to handle request for an exclusive read

Thank you all for the advice.

Cheeky - thanks so much for the insightful feedback you gave me on my query letter. That's what did it!

John H
by johnh27
November 30th, 2011, 12:47 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: How to handle request for an exclusive read
Replies: 5
Views: 1945

How to handle request for an exclusive read

I need some advice - I got a query response from Elizabeth Pomada at Larsen Pomada Literary. She requested that I send her my book for review on an exclusive basis. Is there a standard period that the exclusivity should last? I don't want to take my book off the table for an indeterminate period of ...
by johnh27
November 22nd, 2011, 6:18 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: REVISED Query - ANNIE AND WILL
Replies: 1
Views: 708

REVISED Query - ANNIE AND WILL

Thanks for the feedback - I've done my best to incorporate into my new letter. Dear Ms. Agent, Will’s mother is dying and wants to secure a future for her ten-year-old son. The single-mother has no family to turn to, so she brings Will to her hometown where she hopes the Gundersons will become Will’...
by johnh27
November 21st, 2011, 8:54 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for ANNIE AND WILL
Replies: 2
Views: 837

Re: Query for ANNIE AND WILL

I can't thank you enough for your in-depth, thoughtful critique.

Your suggestions are spot-on. I'll be back at work on it tomorrow.

Thanks again for giving me your time, expertise, and valuable advice.

John H
by johnh27
November 21st, 2011, 6:04 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Two pages of ANNIE AND WILL
Replies: 1
Views: 1083

Two pages of ANNIE AND WILL

Would like some feedback on my prologue and first page. It's about a girl and her adopted brother falling in love. (Just posted query letter also.) Thanks so much. PROLOGUE 1947 “Well, Janet, I can tell you beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt that you are, as your mother would so delicately put ...
by johnh27
November 21st, 2011, 2:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for ANNIE AND WILL
Replies: 2
Views: 837

Query for ANNIE AND WILL

I took to heart the suggestions several of you offered and have implemented them in my new query letter. I'd love feedback on this effort. Subject line of email: Annie and Will, her adopted brother, have fallen in love. All hell is about to break loose. Dear Ms. Agent, Janet Powers is dying and want...
by johnh27
June 25th, 2011, 9:58 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - "Annie and Will" - A Family Drama
Replies: 4
Views: 1098

Re: Query - "Annie and Will" - A Family Drama

Thank you so much for the enlightening and comprehensive review. I appreciate the time you took and your insights. My next version will reflect many of your suggestions.

Sincerely,

John H
by johnh27
June 24th, 2011, 3:58 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - "Annie and Will" - A Family Drama
Replies: 4
Views: 1098

Query - "Annie and Will" - A Family Drama

Would really like to get feedback on my query letter. I'm new to the game and this is my first effort. What happens when a sixteen-year-old girl and her eighteen-year-old adopted brother fall in love? "Annie and Will", a 106,000-word novel set in the 1960's, is a family drama that follows the Gunder...
by johnh27
June 24th, 2011, 3:47 pm
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Coming of Middle Age, Contemporary Lesbian Romance
Replies: 1
Views: 1049

Re: Coming of Middle Age, Contemporary Lesbian Romance

Hi Gina, Wow - you've got a great premise going there. I recently completed my first novel and am waiting to hear back on my queries so I've got a little time to be a beta reader or critique partner. My story, "Annie and Will", describes what happens when a sixteen-year-old girl and her eighteen-yea...
by johnh27
June 13th, 2011, 12:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - "Annie and Will" - A Family Drama
Replies: 3
Views: 809

Query - "Annie and Will" - A Family Drama

Dear Ms. Carson, What happens when a sixteen-year-old girl and her eighteen-year-old adopted brother fall in love? "Annie and Will", a 106,000-word novel set in the 1960's, is a family drama that follows the Gunderson family and the relationship between Annie and Will from Will's arrival as a ten-ye...
by johnh27
June 13th, 2011, 11:33 am
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: The Introduction Thread
Replies: 618
Views: 196058

Re: The Introduction Thread

Hi - I'm John H. I retired from the telecommunications industry several years ago and moved to the mountains of PA to set about writing a novel. Three years later, I've got a completed manuscript and not a word back from the agents I've queried. The story is a family drama set in the Sixties and inv...
by johnh27
June 13th, 2011, 11:21 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 284975

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

"Annie and Will" - Family Drama Novel Prologue The dying woman hugged her son closer to her as the train rattled on. “Are you felling better, Momma?” the boy asked. “A little, Will.” “Are we almost there, Momma?” “Almost,” she replied wearily. This was the third day of their trip and she was exhaust...
by johnh27
June 13th, 2011, 11:13 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 213
Views: 120926

Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Dear Ms. Carson, What happens when a sixteen-year-old girl and her eighteen-year-old adopted brother fall in love? "Annie and Will", a 106,000-word novel set in the 1960's, is a family drama that follows the Gunderson family and the relationship between Annie and Will from Will's arrival as a ten-ye...