He already had it in the Queries forum, if I remember correctly (and if this is the same manuscript).
In general, I see the same components repeated in successful queries regardless of genre. Some have that snappy, clever hook line, but many do not.
What good queries have in common is a rising sense of excitement. You have the main character, who is interesting because of this
. You have the obstacles he's faced with, the decisions he has to make, the forces playing beside or against him. In 250 words, you have to make an agent believe in your world (though you don't have to tell them every facet of it) and make them care about what happens there. Tease them with a little story and make them want to read more. You're not summarizing your entire plot. The purpose of the query is just to entire someone enough that they want to read more.
The query must have a unique tone, beyond the "and then...and then...and then he must choose between..."
If I remember correctly, your story is contemporary fantasy, and YA. (If not, I truly apologize!) If it is, then don't let yourself get bogged down in world-building, in laying down history, or in talking about your character's journey in thematic generalities. Don't talk about his "journey" at all, if you can help it. Use specifics, and make it intense. Try this "Pitch Workshop" from agent Kristin Nelson http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2007/11/blog-pitch-workshop-part-xi.html
. Read other successful queries and try to capture their immediacy.
If all else fails and you've got the means, take a Pitch Webinar. Writers Digest does some, and other agents occasionally offer them.