Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Oh good golly. While I'm at it, why not the prologue, too?
FYI - this voice doesn't pervade the novel. It's mostly smart-ass in tone, so this character's perspective is a counter-balance...okay I'm gonna shut up now... :)
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The wall between the worlds is closing up.

Every human day, you lose more shadows. The doorways are crushed by concrete or shrunken by forgetting. They are filling in, as if they were never there.

In many of the towns on your side of the wall, there are no doorways whatsoever. Perhaps one or two sit hidden in a garden, or beside a river.

In this town, there were twenty. And one of them was even passable.

On that dim night, I was not the only one to cross through. But I was the first.

I watched the forest as I flew. Then I spotted it, that subtle but telltale trick of light - a shifting patch of shadows. I caught the wind and fell.

On the other side of the wall, the world was made of grids, lit by bulbs, buzzing with machines. It looked different from the last time I had seen it.

Remembering my mission, I circled the closest structure. It looked sturdy and strong, difficult to breach. To one side, a flat field surrounded a painted pond. On the other side, gray ground spread out in thick lines towards the town.

I watched a young black-haired girl embracing two elders. They entered a gleaming machine and rolled slowly away. I saw the girl wave and drop her hand like a puppet.

And at last, behind the glass of a high window, I saw the boy.

The one who would change it all.

I like the language in this. The opening line was particularly good. But I wonder if you want to start this way. You mention up front that the voice will change, and that is one major complaint from editors and agents about prologues. They give an excuse to change the voice or the tone of the story. I imagine that the change in voice would be even more jarring if you tell the story in first person this way. If the voice changes, I suspect that the person telling the story does as well.

I like the beginning sentence and the two ending ones. My reaction was: "Ooooh I want to read more!". But in the middle, I got a little lost. I was trying to think as a kid, since it's aimed for a Middle Grade audience. Thank you so much for sharing!