Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Hi Guys,

I'm looking for a critique partner for my YA Fantasy (90k words). We can start exchanging 15 pages and then see where it goes : )

I try to work on the usual: plot outline, character development, flow and inconsistencies, but I will also check major grammar issues.

I would like my critique partner to plunge into my grammar errors and let me know if the story keeps his/her attention.

I will critique anything, but YA, fantasy, sci fi and horror are my main areas.

Here's my query letter in case you're interested

Fifteen-year-old Jade Kadeem needs to control her city-razing hurricanes, but unlike most wind-riders, she can’t quite master her element. It’s not her fault really. Having your dad murdered in a hate crime makes moving on kind of hard.
When she joins a group of element-riders to learn how to tame her powers, Jade discovers a plot to start a war between Riders and Masha (those who can’t control the elements). The plot means genocide to all Masha, and only Jade is powerful enough to stop it. But given her father was murdered by Masha, genocide doesn’t seem like a bad idea after all.

Cheers!

Hi Clara.

I'd be interested in becoming a critique partner with you, if you are still looking. Your query intrigued me. I read mostly YA myself with the exception of maybe vampire books, so I'm very familar with the genre. I'm happy to exchange the first 15 pages with you as a trial run, which I should be able to complete the day I get it. I can complete a critique of a 90k novel in about two weeks, based on my current schedule.

A bit about me:
I wrote an adult fantasy (74k) that will be part of a possible series. I might add one more chapter, based on review feedback but other than that, it's done. Before I knew how the whole process worked, I took pre-orders from 306 people, so not sure if a traditional publisher will take me because of that, but if they don't, I will still need to polish my work to it's absolute best and would love your help in that regard. I'm not hyper-sensitive to criticism so be as harsh/detailed as you want, as long as it's about the book.

In appreciation for your query, here's mine:

Latrommi accidentally commits the worst error imaginable (he kills a priest) and decides as punishment to abandon forever the thing he loves most: magic. He constantly seeks self-forgiveness by looking for and enduring the most horrific jobs life has to offer and being a pirate ship's Enforcer has been the worst one yet. One day, he assumes his penanace is completed when he meets and falls in love with a woman that is every bit his match. Of course, that all changes when the pirate ship captain throws her overboard and kills her. Now he serves a new master: revenge.

Thank you for considering me and I look forward to working with you.