Afraid to start writing again

[marenst]

I'm an unpublished wannabe author about to start the third draft of my first book, but just thinking about it makes my stomach swirl! It's like all the insecurities I've ever felt in my entire life are saying, "Quit wasting your time. No one will ever read it--why spend hundreds of hours more working on it?" Is this normal (I think it is)? Is anyone actually confident through the writing process? Just hoping to pick your brains. Thanks.

[Beethovenfan]

I think most of us have lived where you are, marenst. It's part of the process. Best thing to do is let the feelings come (because they will no matter what you do), embrace them even, and push through them until you get that third draft done. Then do it again when you have to do your fourth, knowing all the while that it is completely NORMAL!
Hope that helps.

[Hillsy]

Firstly - check out rule 3: http://www.sfwriter.com/ow05.htm : Are you working on novel 2?

Yeah I'm in this bubble too, and probably for very similar reasons to yourself - a caustic mix of self-doubt, poor, conflicting or non-existent feedback, a belief in objective worth, lack of validation and lacking the confidence to treat each issue with the merit it deserves. Trust me, I'm exactly the same. Firstly, check out the below links (especially the first 2 points on the first post and the penultimate paragraph on the second). Scalzi has a very down to earth approach that, as well meaning and positive as it is, is often lacking in the advice usually given to aspiring writers.

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2006/04/27/1 ... t-writing/
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2010/09/16/w ... e-or-dont/

I'd say it's just as important to know where the doubts come from, as it is to acknowledge they are affecting you. I'd be, still am I guess, in this precise predicament save a massive dollop of luck. I got a partial request without ever submitting a query (Yeah I know). Now it's hardly a 7 figure advance, but it was enough of an incentive for me to go back to the keyboard and start rewriting. That's because my self-doubt comes from my own ability, rather than the merit of the story itself. I can handle writing well, but never getting a good story/characters to write about. If you're looking for a reason to bin the MS and start project 2/3/4, that's totally different (and a lot less self-destructive). Are you just after validation? Can you produce short stories to shop around to see if you can sell your stuff? Do you have a writing group?

So yeah - it is normal. The question is: is why you're feeling doubt normal. Even then it probably is........

[Sommer Leigh]

Is anyone actually confident through the writing process?

Yes. Everyone. Including you.

I think sometimes we become so blindsided by our internal doubts that we forget how incredibly brave we are just attempting to write a novel. Forget the impossible odds stacked against you for publication, we're talking about you spending day in and day out, hours and hours and hours creating something out of thin air using only your imagination and the vocabulary and experiences at your disposal. And once you've created this thing, you have to allow people to judge you by it.

We all know that some people are going to read what we wrote and love it and some people will hate it, and we're going to make grammatical errors that are going to humiliate us in front of a large audience, and we don't just allow this to happen to us but we seek it out. We beg for it. We live for the possibility some stranger will get lost in our fiction and never want to be found. How very brave we have to be just to get up and put pen to paper every day! And that we then stare down the storms of self-doubt and internal conflict, the despair and the fear, and we keep writing regardless? If that's not confidence, I don't know what is.

[dios4vida]

I'd like to second what everyone's said above, especially Sommer.

Self-doubt, novel frustration, and the dubious sanity that comes with it is so completely normal to writers. We've all been there, and I'd be willing to bet that at least half of the people on this forum right now are struggling with the same. It's hard to see this as a viable career prospect when we pour years into novels that never see the light of day.

In addition to the above links, I'd like to point out Nathan's "AM I CRAZIES" blog http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2009/07 ... -am-i.html. This has helped me through a lot.

My advice would be to take a deep breath and realize that this is normal. It doesn't mean anything other than you're living the life-cycle of a novelist and their novel. You're just in the "am I crazy?" phase, which always passes. Remember why you started writing in the first place, and remember the thrill of typing "the end" for the first time (even though it was just a first draft). That euphoria never ends - on every single draft of every single novel I've written (I'm revising my third) I did such an energetic happy dance that I frightened the cats and have come dangerously close to injuring myself. THAT is why we write. It's in our blood. We can't help it.

No one said this life was easy, but dog-gone-it, it's worth it! Hang tight and keep at it.

[Margo]

Self-doubt is totally normal.

I'm of the belief, and I'm not alone, that writing is something that anyone can learn to do well if they will invest the time and effort. So if you keep writing, keep learning, keep honing your skills, you will become a good writer. Which is the only thing under your control.

[MattLarkin]

Self-doubt is totally normal.

I'm of the belief, and I'm not alone, that writing is something that anyone can learn to do well if they will invest the time and effort. So if you keep writing, keep learning, keep honing your skills, you will become a good writer. Which is the only thing under your control.

My thoughts exactly.

That said, I found what I learned in attempting to write my first novel, made me a better writer when I shelved it and moved on to another. Someday I will rewrite that first one (from scratch), and be better for having done the one's in between.

[marenst]

Thanks everyone. I think part of my problem is that I'm writing a memoir and in this third draft I have finally committed to telling the whole story no matter how painful it is for me to relive those negative experiences.

To all the unpublished writers out there, I admire you all. It's so hard to write every day when we all have jobs and families [and cats] to worry about. Huzzah!

[maybegenius]

What everyone else said I think when we're just starting out, we have this idea in our head that "real" authors just spill words onto the page that are immediately easy and brilliant and flawless, and if we can't do that, we must be doing it wrong. And that could not be further from the truth. We've all started projects we've never finished, or had to write four-five-six-TEN drafts before we had something we were reasonably happy with, or read a published author's latest work and curled into a ball of despair because we think we'll never be that good. We've all been there.

Even the Big Name Authors have been there. The only way for us to get past it is to keep pushing, keep writing, keep improving. Writing well isn't something that just happens to people. It comes with time and patience and blood and tears and rejection. But eventually, if you have the will, you can make it