I'm a NOBODY(Try two)
Posted: December 30th, 2010, 2:53 am
I thought about why I couldn't keep any bit of voice in my original query, and I realized I was trying to add too much. So, this new attempt is with a clean slate, completely from scratch, all that stuff. I'll leave out the greeting and what not, it's just the synopsis I want looked at. And one hundred thousand thank yous to anyone who even took the time to look at this page.
Seventeen year old Dominic Taylor doesn’t believe his classmate Jennifer is normal, or even human. When he secretly follows her one night, he’s taken to a world where his human blood puts him in constant danger. The inhabitants of this world, powerful beings known as the Fey, have been feuding with humans for years. Jennifer, who is a half-Fey with no prejudices, becomes his only ally. As they search for a way to get him home, latent powers begin to reveal themselves and he realizes a horrifying truth: he isn’t human. As war breaks out, Dominic is forced to decide between going back to his human life and mother, and staying to find out more about his deceased Fey father and his true identity.
Second Version
Thanks for all the input. Here's try two. My main questions: 1, is it interesting, or does it read as more of a book report? 2, does it flow well?
Seventeen-year-old Dominic Taylor can open locked doors with a touch and pass security cameras undetected. He’s never been able to understand his powers, so when he sees his classmate Jennifer open a door he knows is locked, his curiosity gets the better of him and he follows her. On the other side of the door is a world of powerful shapeshifters called Fey, and Dominic’s human blood puts him in constant danger.
War is close between the Fey and a human organization devoted to the destruction of magic. As Dominic searches for a way home, he must avoid the Fey, who hate him because he is human, as well as the humans that would destroy him for his powers. When he and Jennifer become cornered, his powers reveal that he isn’t fully human: he’s half-Fey. As war breaks out, Dominic must decide between returning to his human, and searching for information about his deceased Fey father and his true identity.
Seventeen year old Dominic Taylor doesn’t believe his classmate Jennifer is normal, or even human. When he secretly follows her one night, he’s taken to a world where his human blood puts him in constant danger. The inhabitants of this world, powerful beings known as the Fey, have been feuding with humans for years. Jennifer, who is a half-Fey with no prejudices, becomes his only ally. As they search for a way to get him home, latent powers begin to reveal themselves and he realizes a horrifying truth: he isn’t human. As war breaks out, Dominic is forced to decide between going back to his human life and mother, and staying to find out more about his deceased Fey father and his true identity.
Second Version
Thanks for all the input. Here's try two. My main questions: 1, is it interesting, or does it read as more of a book report? 2, does it flow well?
Seventeen-year-old Dominic Taylor can open locked doors with a touch and pass security cameras undetected. He’s never been able to understand his powers, so when he sees his classmate Jennifer open a door he knows is locked, his curiosity gets the better of him and he follows her. On the other side of the door is a world of powerful shapeshifters called Fey, and Dominic’s human blood puts him in constant danger.
War is close between the Fey and a human organization devoted to the destruction of magic. As Dominic searches for a way home, he must avoid the Fey, who hate him because he is human, as well as the humans that would destroy him for his powers. When he and Jennifer become cornered, his powers reveal that he isn’t fully human: he’s half-Fey. As war breaks out, Dominic must decide between returning to his human, and searching for information about his deceased Fey father and his true identity.