Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Hey there!
This is just something I wrote for my NaNoWriMo novel that I was doing and I am wondering what you think. Please leave comments, nothing too nasty thought.

Thanks <3



x x


Victoria: Soprano, happily single
Owen: Bass, crushing on Evelyn
Isabella: Alto, has the hots for Carter
Carter: Tenor, step brother of Evelyn
Evelyn: Soprano, in love with her step brother

Evalyn can still remember clearly the day her mom told me she was getting re-married. It was also the day her semi-perfect world shattered, when all the secrets and lies began. It was the day Evalyn learned she was in love with Carter, a boy who would soon become her step-brother.

To forget about him Evalyn begins to date another guy she goes to school with, but finds her thoughts always drifting back to those of her step-brother. Things only get more complicated when Carter suddenly confesses his love to her.

RebeccaSauve wrote:

Victoria: Soprano, happily single
Owen: Bass, crushing on Evelyn
Isabella: Alto, has the hots for Carter
Carter: Tenor, step brother of Evelyn
Evelyn: Soprano, in love with her step brother
I like how you use the initials of the names for your title.

Evalyn can still remember clearly the day her mom told me she was getting re-married.
Got a bit confused with the me there. Will this eventually be in first person perspective?

It was also the day her semi-perfect world shattered, when all the secrets and lies began. It was the day Evalyn learned she was in love with Carter, a boy who would soon become her step-brother.
This could be an interesting plot

To forget about him Evalyn begins to date another guy she goes to school with, but finds her thoughts always drifting back to those of her step-brother.
Awkward wording here

Things only get more complicated when Carter suddenly confesses his love to her.

I like the idea of the story. It sounds like a good emotional plot, although I have seen a TV movie with the same basic story of girl falling in love with guy who becomes her step-brother. If you add more details like why voice is involved (Is this about a choir group?) it may help to make the story more unique.