Nathan Bransford - The Forums

My current novel is being written in 3rd person omniscient. Do I need the "he thought" and "she thought" descriptors for this type of narration or can I just switch internal dialogue without that and assume the reader can catch on from the structure of the current text?

Several consensuses with disparate principles regard interior monologue, but they all agree that introspection cannot be dialogue in most situations, shy of paranormal phenomena.

One says delimit introspection, especially interior monologue, with italic formatting or quote marks when it's not confused with dialogue. "What does Mr. Handyman mean by leaving the heat off on cold days?" Luke said. Handman's a miserly jerk. He pinches pennies so hard they bleed.

One says tag introspection with thought attribution and optional quote marks. //"Handyman's a miserly jerk," Luke thought.//

One says run introspection in in roman rigidly avoiding thought attribution and quote marks. The Free Indirect Discourse method does that by providing supporting context and close psychic access alignment with a viewpoint character's introspection. // Luke tapped the thermostat to unstick the temperature needle. It didn't waver. "Colder than hell in here. The damn toilet's froze." All the tenants know Handyman's a penny pinching jerk. The miserly donkey.//

Introspection isn't exclusively Interior monologue. Interior monologue is a kind of introspection in a direct unspoken address.

Dorian, stay on topic please. Although thank you for modeling internal dialogue about spam out of context.

So, I don't write 3rd person much, but I think, unlike regular dialogue, it's really tricky to take it out of context. I think it's cumbersome, though, to keep having to repeat "he thought" every paragraph.

Why don't you try it, and ask some beta-readers if they can follow it?

I'm not sure this is helpful, but I find the question interesting. :)

I have some inner monologue in my manuscript, and beta readers told me the "he thought" "she thoughts" were cumbersome to read. I use the inner monologue sparingly, so when I do use it, I go with putting it italics.

Example:

"Hi, Steve," Tom said as he stepped into the elevator. "This guy's breath smells like he ate a dead smoker," Tom thought.

Versus

"Hi, Steve," Tom said as he stepped into the elevator. This guy's breath smells like he ate a dead smoker.

I prefer the 2nd version :). (Also, I swear that's not part of my novel. Lol.)

RebeccaKnight wrote:I have some inner monologue in my manuscript, and beta readers told me the "he thought" "she thoughts" were cumbersome to read. I use the inner monologue sparingly, so when I do use it, I go with putting it italics.

Example:

"Hi, Steve," Tom said as he stepped into the elevator. "This guy's breath smells like he ate a dead smoker," Tom thought.

Versus

"Hi, Steve," Tom said as he stepped into the elevator. This guy's breath smells like he ate a dead smoker.

I prefer the 2nd version :). (Also, I swear that's not part of my novel. Lol.)

Or you could write it this way, keeping the internal monologue in third person:
"Hi, Steve," Tom said as he stepped into the elevator. Jesus, the guy's breath smelled like he ate a dead smoker.

Speech is quoted. That's it.

Direct thought is italicized. I try not to use inner dialogue unless it feels absolutely necessary. Much of what is said in direct thought can effectively be brought out in the narrative (with minor adjustments in wording).

Narrative tags (is that a real term?) aren't quite as simple.

Personally, I use them. Sparingly. Sometimes they are needed to give the sentence better flow. Sometimes they emphasize a point. I can't think of an example where I used "he thought", though. Usually, it is something like "he reasoned", or "he mused", etc. But again, it's rare, and it has to have a specific purpose.