Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Ok, so I am searching for awesome critique partners to give me some great opinions. I am willing to work in return and have fairly quick turn around time. Basically my novel is a YA fantasy and I got 5 MS requests on it, but the publisher I was REALLY hoping for asked for revisions. So, I would really just like to see how it flows from a reader's eyes, do you like the prose? Is there enough action (There is quite a bit...)? Everything! I think I would like to begin with trading the first chapter and going from there. I mainly want some feedback on the first part of my novel, because that is where most of the changes are. Basically, it is a 90,000 word YA fantasy that begins like this...

Someone was going to die today. There was no other choice; it was kill or die. Vitiosus stared at the tall, bulky warrior and took a deep breath. He slowly stepped forward, the gravel crunched under his feet and the wisps of wind swirled about his head as he calculated his chances. With one last glance toward his father on the throne, Vitiosus walked to the middle of the arena. He was determined to make his father proud of him–just this once.

PM me.

Sign me up, Shadow! I've just finished one of the betas earlier then as I estimated and presumably I can finish the other one too tonight, so I have time for another one. Am I awesome or not, you decide. :) Please send your email via PM, so we can make the exchange.

I don't know if I'm awesome, but I like to read Fantasy. My Novel is just about complete, although after posting a few queries on this blog, I've decided to re-write part of it around page 50.

A few generations of my stabs at writing a query are in the query blog if you'd like to take a look... it's under HIDDEN IN PLAIN SITE.

If you're interested, so am I! Let me know.