Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Hopefully I can get some real feedback here. I was on a different site and all the did was criticize my genre which I removed from the query and someone told me my book was incomplete because the query didn't explain everything? Hope to get feedback of any kind! Cheers!!

Is it bad that Ameir Henson cares more about choosing between rescuing his mother and trying to redeem his older brother; rather than focusing on the billions of lives that are at stake.

When a powerful masked warlord commands to have Ameir and his mother abducted, two super-powered men swiftly rescue Ameir, however Jean isn't as fortunate. Ameir's rescuers agree to help Ameir retrieve his mother, but before they can even start their quest, Ameir and the group have a brief unheralded encounter with an embittered (word like burdened but more influenced) Aidan, except it's far from the glamorous reunion that Ameir's always fantasized about for the last 3 years. Before Ameir and the group can gain anymore ground on finding Jean, they quickly find themselves being framed for murder by the warlord, in efforts to divert attention away from his scheme to destroy the core planets, killing billions.

Now a galactic terrorist, Ameir must make a drastic decision: confront the warlord and possibly save billions, continue to pursue rescuing his mother, redeem his older brother, or flee the Henderbock solar system to save his friends.

AMEIR: ABSOLUTION reports in complete at just a hair above 80,000 words. I thank you for your time and consideration!

Hello Vernalire. I must admit I'm a bit confused by your query. I know you cannot answer all questions in a query, but I do wonder why it might fall to Ameir to save billions of people. Why is he so significant? I've slightly edited your query below. Ignore if you do not find it helpful.

Is it bad that Ameir Henson cares more about choosing between rescuing his mother and trying to redeem his older brother; rather than focusing on billions of lives that are in danger?

When a powerful masked warlord has Ameir and his mother abducted, two super-powered men swiftly rescue Ameir, however Jean isn't as fortunate. Ameir's rescuers agree to help Ameir retrieve his mother, but before they can even start their quest, Ameir and the group have a brief encounter with an embittered Aidan, except it's far from the glamorous reunion that Ameir's fantasized about for the last 3 years. Before Ameir and the group can gain any more ground on finding Jean, they quickly find themselves being framed for murder by the warlord, in an efforts to divert attention away from his scheme to destroy the core planets, killing billions.

Now a galactic terrorist, Ameir must make a drastic decision: confront the warlord and possibly save billions, continue to pursue rescuing his mother, redeem his older brother, or flee the Henderbock solar system to save his friends.

AMEIR: ABSOLUTION reports in complete at just a hair above 80,000 words. I thank you for your time and consideration!