The Benefits of Tragedy
Posted: July 20th, 2010, 2:17 pm
I’ve been musing lately on how unlikely my life would be had it not been for the tragedies I’ve lived through. It sounds strange, but trust me. I couldn’t do what I do everyday if my life was all sunshine and roses.
I was born with a genetic disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. In a nutshell, my collagen (which is the main ingredient in your tendons, ligaments, skin, and the linings of many organs) is super-delicate and prone to breaking. This leaves all of my joints hypermobile and several are permanently damaged. I’ve had three surgeries on my wrists and I wear braces on my wrists, knees, and left ankle just to stabilize them. I can hardly walk without my leg braces. It’s a debilitating and incredibly painful condition which has in turn led to stomach ulcers, migraines, and fibromyalgia. So as you can tell, my body is pretty much a mess.
On top of the physical struggles I’ve dealt with, I had an emotional blow at a relatively young age as well. When I was 20, my best friend (and the man I thought I would marry) was killed in a car accident. For a long time afterward I was a depressed, bitter wreck of a person. I couldn’t believe that I’d finally found someone whom I loved so much just to have him taken from me. It was a really difficult time for me.
The whole point of these stories isn’t to garner sympathy, but to show you that I really know what I’m talking about. I’ve had to deal with tragedy in my life. I have to deal with it on a continual basis as more of my body fails and I lose the use of more joints. I won’t lie, it’s still hard. It still sucks, and I still cry and wail about the unfairness of it all. But I’ve also begun to see that it isn’t all negative, either.
If my body was fully functional, I would still have a job. I’d probably still have the same crappy job I had before my second wrist surgery. But now I don’t – can’t – work. And as writers, you guys understand that this is actually a good thing! I spend most of my days in the spare bedroom of our house (my office) and write. I have a lifestyle that most people only dream of – I can sleep in, work in my pajamas, and play with imaginary friends all day long on the pages of my books. I couldn’t ask for more.
But I do have more! People say to ‘write what you know’ – well, I know pain, suffering, and loss. Quite intimately. So when my characters have to go through something horrible (which we all know they do), I can write from experience. I can draw upon real, honest emotions to pour onto the page. My writing rings of genuine feelings and reactions. The pain in my life makes my writing richer, truer, and deeper. It’s a gift that I’m incredibly grateful for.
I know many of you out there have suffered just as much or more than I have. I sympathize with every pain and loss that’s been forced upon you. I really do. These are the kinds of things that no one should have to deal with. But since we have, let’s make the most of it. Pour that suffering onto the page. It’s cathartic and makes for compelling reading.
What more could a writer ask for?
I was born with a genetic disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. In a nutshell, my collagen (which is the main ingredient in your tendons, ligaments, skin, and the linings of many organs) is super-delicate and prone to breaking. This leaves all of my joints hypermobile and several are permanently damaged. I’ve had three surgeries on my wrists and I wear braces on my wrists, knees, and left ankle just to stabilize them. I can hardly walk without my leg braces. It’s a debilitating and incredibly painful condition which has in turn led to stomach ulcers, migraines, and fibromyalgia. So as you can tell, my body is pretty much a mess.
On top of the physical struggles I’ve dealt with, I had an emotional blow at a relatively young age as well. When I was 20, my best friend (and the man I thought I would marry) was killed in a car accident. For a long time afterward I was a depressed, bitter wreck of a person. I couldn’t believe that I’d finally found someone whom I loved so much just to have him taken from me. It was a really difficult time for me.
The whole point of these stories isn’t to garner sympathy, but to show you that I really know what I’m talking about. I’ve had to deal with tragedy in my life. I have to deal with it on a continual basis as more of my body fails and I lose the use of more joints. I won’t lie, it’s still hard. It still sucks, and I still cry and wail about the unfairness of it all. But I’ve also begun to see that it isn’t all negative, either.
If my body was fully functional, I would still have a job. I’d probably still have the same crappy job I had before my second wrist surgery. But now I don’t – can’t – work. And as writers, you guys understand that this is actually a good thing! I spend most of my days in the spare bedroom of our house (my office) and write. I have a lifestyle that most people only dream of – I can sleep in, work in my pajamas, and play with imaginary friends all day long on the pages of my books. I couldn’t ask for more.
But I do have more! People say to ‘write what you know’ – well, I know pain, suffering, and loss. Quite intimately. So when my characters have to go through something horrible (which we all know they do), I can write from experience. I can draw upon real, honest emotions to pour onto the page. My writing rings of genuine feelings and reactions. The pain in my life makes my writing richer, truer, and deeper. It’s a gift that I’m incredibly grateful for.
I know many of you out there have suffered just as much or more than I have. I sympathize with every pain and loss that’s been forced upon you. I really do. These are the kinds of things that no one should have to deal with. But since we have, let’s make the most of it. Pour that suffering onto the page. It’s cathartic and makes for compelling reading.
What more could a writer ask for?