Query critique 10/26/23

[Nathan Bransford]

Want to see how your editing approach compares to mine?

Below is the query up for critique on the blog on Thursday. Feel free to chime in with comments, create your own redline (please note the "font colour" button above the posting box, which looks like a drop of ink), and otherwise offer feedback. When offering your feedback, please please remember to be polite and constructive. In order to leave a comment you will need to register an account in the Forums, which should be self-explanatory.

I'll be back with my own post on the blog and we'll literally be able to compare notes.

Dear Agent,


Because you are looking for Art books that inspire you, I’m excited to share LAGUNA BEACH: THE ART & SOUL OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. My photography of this unique art colony combines the beaches from Gray Malin's Italy with the cityscapes found in Liam Wong's debut TO:KY:OO. Academy Award-winner and former resident Diane Keaton has written the foreword.


Laguna Beach eats, sleeps and breathes the arts and deserves its own book of art. My images drop you into the heartbeat of Laguna life, from its SoCal beach culture, eclectic hangouts, annual events and public art to its love for conservation. Think illustrator Norman Rockwell's slices of life meets Anthony Bourdain's sense of place storytelling. Laguna’s previous photobooks have documented its historical past in vintage black and white. LAGUNA BEACH is the first to capture today's Laguna in full color.


LAGUNA will be the perfect book for the coffee tables of coastal lovers, interior designers and homeowners from Nantucket to New Zealand. Laguna's natural beauty and laidback charm attract 6.3 million visitors annually who find this quirky town to be unlike any other place on Earth.


I received the 2023 "Best News Photo" from the Orange County Press Club and was a finalist in the 2021 Epson International Pano Awards. My photos prompted President Obama to add Laguna's offshore rocks to the California Coastal National Monument. My work also appears in The Christian Science Monitor, Digital Photo Magazine and The Surfer's Journal.


I have secured marketing support from community organizations and social media influencers, totaling 240K opt-in emails and 1.5M social media followers. The completed book proposal includes an aggressive promotional plan with a publicist and endorsements from California State Assemblywoman Cottie Petrie-Norris, Westways Magazine and the Surfrider Foundation.


Sincerely,
Mitch Ridder