Query critique 5/4/23

Offer up your page (or query) for Nathan's critique on the blog.
Post Reply
User avatar
Nathan Bransford
Posts: 1553
Joined: December 4th, 2009, 11:17 pm
Location: Pasadena, CA
Contact:

Query critique 5/4/23

Post by Nathan Bransford » April 27th, 2023, 4:13 pm

Want to see how your editing approach compares to mine?

Below is the query up for critique on the blog next Thursday. Feel free to chime in with comments, create your own redline (please note the "font colour" button above the posting box, which looks like a drop of ink), and otherwise offer feedback. When offering your feedback, please please remember to be polite and constructive. In order to leave a comment you will need to register an account in the Forums, which should be self-explanatory.

I'll be back with my own post on the blog and we'll literally be able to compare notes.

Dear ---,

I am seeking representation for my completed 70,000-word novel, And That Divine Eye.

This is what I remember: the gray field. The wind. The rain. The river. Nothing at all.

The tornado that presumably killed Georgia’s entire household rescued her, setting her down gently in the grass miles away. She was just a baby then, and she hasn’t spoken since. Now fifteen, Georgia is dangerously drawn to the hurricanes that pass through the coastal New Hampshire town where she lives with her Aunt Bridger and Uncle Joey.

She writes letters to her late mother about pyramids, the moon, Bach, and Ben—the older intern whose attention she doesn’t quite understand. Bridger and Joey struggle with whether finally enrolling her in school would bring her much-needed socialization or simply create opportunities for her to be exploited. When a well-hidden secret about Georgia’s mother is revealed, Georgia sets off alone to discover the truth about her past—and whether she is able to forgive. Her disappearance brings Bridger and Joey’s failing marriage and loss of a child to the forefront. And as Georgia flies farther from Bridger and Joey’s protection, they all must face the losses and loves that have shaped them.

A story that celebrates the wonder and divinity in the mundane, And That Divine Eye might be shelved with books such as Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward, Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple, Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty, and The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd.

My work has been published in Epiphany, Ginosko Literary Magazine, and The Good Life Review, as well as the pulp fiction anthology Murder Ink 3 (Plaidswede Publishing). I earned my MFA in Writing, with a concentration in Fiction, from the University of New Hampshire, where I won the Dawkins Prize for my short story collection. I am a member of the New Hampshire Writers' Project.

Please find the first few chapters pasted in this message below, per your submission requirements. Thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing from you.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests