Nathan Bransford - The Forums

My afternoon classes were harder than they had ever been. In my Spanish class I found Joshua sitting at a desk just behind me. I struggled at first to ignore the rude boy sitting there. Just thinking about our argument at lunch got my blood boiling. Between him and the other visitor at my table, I had a very hard time focusing on what the teachers were saying. I just couldn’t forget the irritating boy who seemed to be able to look into my very soul, leaving nothing left unexposed. Nor could I get the image of the glorious boy with the red hair that seemed to fly in every direction about his head as if it were in perpetual motion, like a breeze was constantly blowing all around him. The two boys seemed to be linked in my mind to some maddening inextricable enigma picking up speed I headed for English, my final class


What do all think... is this a good fix you think!

Looks to me like a good solution! And don't forget, if something still doesn't feel like it flows quite right, it can always be adjusted in revisions. This includes adding and deleting scenes as necessary. If you're not sure, write yourself a little note in the text ("[insert ignoring scene here if necessary]") and then carry on with drafting. When you return on your next pass of revisions you'll have a better idea whether you need it or not.

As an aside, I think you missed some punctuation in that last sentence...?

Well I am past the hard part now. The muse seems to have forgiven me and returned thanks to all who helped out!