Nathan Bransford - The Forums

This is a single house, no community, no other houses, that was commissioned to be built deep in the Pine Barrens by our head baddie. There will be a small, sleepy town nearby where, of course, the bad guy basically owns the Sheriff department and is able to control other factors. And by small, i mean real small, just a few streets where everything is located mostly on a main street with a few outlying houses and such.

The cover story could be that it is rented out as a party place, as it is deep in the woods and there is no worry about bothering any neighbors or anything like that. A helipad might be a good idea, as maybe some of the patients had been flown in. There will be a small entry road off the town that leads into the Barrens. The road will be out of the way and obviously not well travelled outside of the few people who come in and out for errands and other business that needs tending to. Or, maybe, i could wipe out any road completely and only have it accessible by helicopter, as the house is deep in the wood. But my fear is that if i cut off road access then the small town nearby might not have much value. I do intend to have my MC wind up there through a series of leads. From there, though, i would wonder how to proceed. Obviously in sleepy towns there is always someone who knows everything but the baddie will be in control. So the one i need would have to be someone who has a grudge or something.

With the helicopter scenario, then i see a chain that works this way: the women who are going to the house for the treatment go to the town and check in at the motel, run by someone under the bad guys control. From there, they are driven to the helipad, presumably outside of town, and flown out into the Barrens where the house is.

Then, my MC would be facing a two-fold problem to investigate as i see it -first, when he gets to town he will have to find out about the existence of the house in the Barrens. Second, he would then have to find out how it is accesses, which means finding the helipad. He would probably have to find some records that show the existence of the house or some clue to alert him to the fact there is something out in the Barrens and that is where his sister is. Then would come finding the helipad. Then he would have to find a way to get a ride out there or choose to find the location and go in by foot, which might create a few dramatic scenes as he scours the woods and battles some enemies. There a gypsy type people that live in the and around the Barrens that we in Jersey call Pinees, they might make for some good fight scenes in the woods as he tries to reach the house.

I'm also familiar with the Pinees. I've been known to take a stomp in the wilds myself. Before Google Earth, my source for places to go for nature adventures was USGS topographic maps photocopied from library files. I've bought a few too. Not every structure was marked on them but they update fairly regularly. Google Earth updates more regularly. My vehicles are parked in the satellite images of where I live, and people I know, family and such.

I think you've got a fully fleshed and credible scenario. One thing to keep foremost in mind is keeping the final outcome in doubt until the bitter end. The man is driven to find his sister before it's too late. Finding her is a given. Readers expect a protagonist, or quest object in this case, will not die before an ending, no matter how great the odds against him and her. The sister's pending procedure remains in doubt until he catches up with her. That's a final outcome scene which can keep doubt open until the end. The final crisis scene could be finding her and she's in the early stages of the procedure, and her outcome has yet to be decided. Then an escape is indicated and through the escape he realizes she's not as right as she used to be, but able to come to a new normal, perhaps healthier mental equilibrium. He ought to also experience a profound personal transformation for maximum reader satisfaction. Say he comes to terms with his bachelorhood, though now he understands the importance of family bonds.

Anyway, I think it's time to write. Time for action.

I have been writing in between all of this. I have a good 25k written in this story so far and it has been a lot of fun building the tension as the MC and his partner try to unravel the clues and find the leads that will lead to the ending.

I now have a clear and credible vision of where this goes. I had the general ideas but wanted to check the credibility angles and make sure i was not going too far off reservation with my ideas and creative vision.

The town to the house and ultimately to the sister seems to have found a rhythm. There will definitely be tension until the end with the sister and procedure and whether or not she has been permanently touched or changed by it. His need for family will put him and his sister back together i think. He might even end up with a romantic connection to someone i have put in the story.

The helicopter and house, easy. I think as he rolls into town he will notice a helicopter pass overhead and will think nothing of it at first. He will find a girl at the hotel who ends up being there to go to the house for the procedure. He figures something is up with her and follows her as she goes to the heliport. In town he can find out about the house from a person there, maybe a kid of one of the shop owners who is always around and refers to the party house and stuff.

It feels good and this afternoon and all weekend i will be working much more on this story.

Once again, Poly, a big thanks for the assistance and prodding. My vision is sometimes cloudy but your prompts and questions seem to put me on the right track. Hey, once this thing gets published, look for your name in the credits at the beginning.