Why can't I do this?

[Margo]

As mentioned before, all good advice, but I'm particularly in agreement with polymath's suggestion of making sure you know where your focus is and sierramcconnell's comment about how hard it is to focus the pitch when we have the whole story in our heads. Have you considered trying to write it like the blurb on the back of a book? I'd suggest getting all the novels you have in the house, regardless of genre, and read the back cover copy for them, one after another, at least 20 or 30 if possible.

Agent Kristin Nelson did a fabulous job in a recent webinar of breaking down the pitch into distinct elements. Her advise included things like focusing on your inciting incident and main problem and limiting yourself to 12 sentences. She used back cover copy as examples of great pitches. Following her advise, I accidentally got a partial request for a book I haven't written yet.