Nathan Bransford - The Forums

BransfordGroupie wrote:Nathan,

I have to ask. Where and how did this monkey fetish start?

I believe it all started when I got into a staring match with an orangutan at the San Diego Zoo and the orangutan won.

If we're talking the Chicago Bears, then I have to go with the monkeys. Unfortunately.

Nathan Bransford wrote:

BransfordGroupie wrote:Nathan,

I have to ask. Where and how did this monkey fetish start?

I believe it all started when I got into a staring match with an orangutan at the San Diego Zoo and the orangutan won.

Well then I am afraid I have to side with the bears. Monkeys (or gorillas in my case) seem to have a habit of spitting on me. So implolite!

This is a trick question. Depends on several factors such as types of bear and type of monkey. Kodiak vs Capucin, I'd go with Kodiak. Chimp against a Koala. Probably chimp. Environment would play an important part, too. Most bears can outrun monkeys so on a treeless plain I'd go for bear but in a forest, the monkeys would have the advantage.

But if we're talking space monkeys here, all bets are off.

Nifty update to the site, Nathan.

I say monkeys because they fight with Stephen Colbert on their side. Bears, however, are a grave threat to our democracy and are not to be taken lightly. But our white knight would not make such a mistake.

Is there anyway the monkeys can get the bears saddled? If so, I think that settles it.

Monkeys. They are nimble and sneaky and weird. Just look at Evil Monkey from Family Guy.

Monkeys. They can swing from trees faster than a bear could catch up with them. Also they could throw bananas at the bears and distract them.

Any creature that can fling its own excrement is top dog. Monkey wins (as evinced by the perennially dismal play of the Grizzlies)

Bears. Monkeys used to be the best tanks until the pet family normalization, but now the Bear's Swipe is definitely superior to the Monkey's Pummel, since it can easily be replicated by the Intimidation skill.

:: slinks back to her geeky corner ::

Must they fight? Why must monkeys and bears always hurt each other?

Are they not both creatures of the Universe? Can't they find a point of union, such as their nude hairy bodies, their terrible body odor, and their inability to write a decent query letter?

I think monkeys and bears should sit down together and talk this out. Maybe the monkey's feelings are hurt. Maybe the bear felt ignored on his birthday. Surely we can bring these two wild animals together and make peace.

Hug it out, monkey and bear.

Hug it out.

Can't we all just get along?

Do humans count as monkeys? If so, we're pretty good at killing bears.

If not, you may have to specify which types of monkeys. A chimp or gorilla may go down pretty quick against a grizzly, but a group of poop throwing rhesus monkeys could probably take anything down... even velociraptors.

Isn't it a species of chimpanzee that currently dominates the planet?

Wait... I just thought of something. Is this a staring competition? If so, the bears win. I heard polar bears can sleep with their eyes open. So some little marmoset could go up against a polar bear and the bear could fall asleep waiting for the end. Poor little monkey doesn't stand a chance...

Depends how many monkeys we're talking about.