Re: Query-Akasha One more time...I think
Posted: April 6th, 2010, 9:34 pm
All right- if I could get a couple pair of eyes to look at this one last time that would be great. My greatest concern is saying Nichole's name too much. Are three names too many for a query? I think it would flow better if I gave Nichole's mother's name. Thoughts?
In 1879, sixteen-year-old Nichole leads a life most of her peers desire. A big house, a mother who indulges her, and she’s betrothed to the wealthiest man in town. The year she must spend apart from him while he learns his father’s business is the only thing hindering her happiness.
Until the note appears. ‘I found you,’ is all it says, but these three words cause her mother to become frantic. Knowing more than she’ll say, Nichole’s mother tries to make Nichole leave behind their home, all her possessions and the love of her life.
She’s too late, though, and her mother dies in a fire. Nichole is left in the hands of her superstitious town who believes she’s been cursed by the band of gypsies living nearby. When one of the gypsies comes to claim her, the town hands her over with no remorse.
Although she’s unhappy with her new life she feels drawn to Bryshen, the man who’s been put in charge of watching over her. Her trust in him turns to love and the wounds of loss begin to heal.
Then she discovers their secret. They are witches, possessing the powers of the elements, and Nichole is destined to be their leader. They found her just in time.
The same witch her mother hid from is stealing witches powers and they need Nichole to stop her. To make matters worse, her betrothed has come to “rescue” her from the gypsies. Now she’s torn between the easy life she’s always known, and her duty to fulfill her destiny as the Akasha.
In 1879, sixteen-year-old Nichole leads a life most of her peers desire. A big house, a mother who indulges her, and she’s betrothed to the wealthiest man in town. The year she must spend apart from him while he learns his father’s business is the only thing hindering her happiness.
Until the note appears. ‘I found you,’ is all it says, but these three words cause her mother to become frantic. Knowing more than she’ll say, Nichole’s mother tries to make Nichole leave behind their home, all her possessions and the love of her life.
She’s too late, though, and her mother dies in a fire. Nichole is left in the hands of her superstitious town who believes she’s been cursed by the band of gypsies living nearby. When one of the gypsies comes to claim her, the town hands her over with no remorse.
Although she’s unhappy with her new life she feels drawn to Bryshen, the man who’s been put in charge of watching over her. Her trust in him turns to love and the wounds of loss begin to heal.
Then she discovers their secret. They are witches, possessing the powers of the elements, and Nichole is destined to be their leader. They found her just in time.
The same witch her mother hid from is stealing witches powers and they need Nichole to stop her. To make matters worse, her betrothed has come to “rescue” her from the gypsies. Now she’s torn between the easy life she’s always known, and her duty to fulfill her destiny as the Akasha.