Share your opening sentence!
Share your opening sentence!
Ok guys I thought this would be fun! You never know when you need to improve your hook right? So this is how it works. The person who posts (in this case me) posts their opening sentence and the next person rates your first sentence from 1/10 on the scale of whether you would continiue off that sentence. In the same post you paste your opening and the next person rates and posts. Simple right? Ok here goes mine.
Vitiosus gazed at his father’s cold, light grey eyes, and for once realized that he would never be like the blood-thirsty king.
Vitiosus gazed at his father’s cold, light grey eyes, and for once realized that he would never be like the blood-thirsty king.
Re: Share your opening sentence!
From the manuscript I'm currently soliciting:
William Henderson wears pants and a suit coat.
From the manuscript I'm currently writing:
Nashau had never been in a city as large as Tinadian.
William Henderson wears pants and a suit coat.
From the manuscript I'm currently writing:
Nashau had never been in a city as large as Tinadian.
- Terry Towery
- Posts: 44
- Joined: December 6th, 2009, 8:45 pm
- Location: Peoria, IL
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
First sentence frm my wip:
The boy plopped his backpack onto the floor just outside the stall closest to the window and deftly slipped the Heckler-Koch G36 mini assault rifle from its hiding place between his American History book and a pair of balled-up sweatpants.
The boy plopped his backpack onto the floor just outside the stall closest to the window and deftly slipped the Heckler-Koch G36 mini assault rifle from its hiding place between his American History book and a pair of balled-up sweatpants.
Terry L. Towery
http://awriterofwrongs.blogspot.com/
http://awriterofwrongs.blogspot.com/
Re: Share your opening sentence!
Note that this is the first draft of my WIP, so it may be subject to change.
"Standing on the corner of Haymarket Drive and West Main Street, Staff Inspector Paul Beckett cursed to himself as he lit the last cigarette in his pack."
"Standing on the corner of Haymarket Drive and West Main Street, Staff Inspector Paul Beckett cursed to himself as he lit the last cigarette in his pack."
- cassandrabonmot
- Posts: 12
- Joined: February 12th, 2010, 10:15 pm
- Location: Austin
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
1973. The year of disco: Afro wigs, platform heels and strobe lights.
This is my opening sentence for my romantic comedy novel called 'Jackpot.'
This is my opening sentence for my romantic comedy novel called 'Jackpot.'
-
- Posts: 118
- Joined: December 14th, 2009, 7:36 pm
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Re: Share your opening sentence!
I left the Roman road while the sun was still low in the east and warming my back.
OK, so far no one has made me put their book back on the shelf and move on. I think it is kind of hard to give a 1 out of 10 rating to a single sentence, but so far shadow's is my favorite.
OK, so far no one has made me put their book back on the shelf and move on. I think it is kind of hard to give a 1 out of 10 rating to a single sentence, but so far shadow's is my favorite.
- maybegenius
- Posts: 349
- Joined: December 7th, 2009, 4:49 pm
- Location: Northern California
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
No one's been rating these so far, but I'd give this one an 8 or 9. Love it! I'd definitely keep going.Josin wrote:We're all immortal until we die.
Here's mine:
Sometimes the world is so cold my voice freezes in the air and shatters.
aka S.E. Sinkhorn, or Steph
My Blog | My Twitter | YA!Flash Tumblr
Represented by Michelle Andelman of Regal Literary
My Blog | My Twitter | YA!Flash Tumblr
Represented by Michelle Andelman of Regal Literary
- marilyn peake
- Posts: 304
- Joined: December 7th, 2009, 4:29 pm
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
maybegenius - I love your sentence! I give it a 9.
Here's mine, first sentence of my published short story, REPO GIRL AND THE FORTUNE FAERIE: "A brilliant half-moon cut through clouds like a scythe, retreating into blackness."
Here's mine, first sentence of my published short story, REPO GIRL AND THE FORTUNE FAERIE: "A brilliant half-moon cut through clouds like a scythe, retreating into blackness."
Marilyn Peake
Novels: THE FISHERMAN’S SON TRILOGY and GODS IN THE MACHINE. Numerous short stories. Contributor to BOOK: THE SEQUEL. Editor of several additional books. Awards include Silver Award, 2007 ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards.
Novels: THE FISHERMAN’S SON TRILOGY and GODS IN THE MACHINE. Numerous short stories. Contributor to BOOK: THE SEQUEL. Editor of several additional books. Awards include Silver Award, 2007 ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards.
- Lorelei Armstrong
- Posts: 65
- Joined: December 7th, 2009, 5:42 pm
- Location: Kauai, Hawaii
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
From the new one:
David Lowell told his mum that having a seizure felt like falling asleep, even though he didn’t know what falling asleep felt like; he never remembered.
David Lowell told his mum that having a seizure felt like falling asleep, even though he didn’t know what falling asleep felt like; he never remembered.
Re: Share your opening sentence!
This is my favorite so far as well.maybegenius wrote:Sometimes the world is so cold my voice freezes in the air and shatters.Josin wrote:We're all immortal until we die.
- dementedtinkerbell
- Posts: 36
- Joined: February 13th, 2010, 8:33 am
- Location: Hiding from the kids...shh!
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
This is mine from my WIP:
I looked at the two lines and swore by all that's unholy that if I ever got hold of him again, I would throttle the bastard.
I looked at the two lines and swore by all that's unholy that if I ever got hold of him again, I would throttle the bastard.
Me to my girl: You're grounded until you're dead
Her: You mean 'til you're dead right?
Me: No, I'll enforce it from beyond the grave
Her: *gulp*
Her: You mean 'til you're dead right?
Me: No, I'll enforce it from beyond the grave
Her: *gulp*
- cassandrabonmot
- Posts: 12
- Joined: February 12th, 2010, 10:15 pm
- Location: Austin
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
Maybegenius,
Love it. 9 or 10!! I def keep reading. Good job!
Love it. 9 or 10!! I def keep reading. Good job!
- cassandrabonmot
- Posts: 12
- Joined: February 12th, 2010, 10:15 pm
- Location: Austin
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
Josin,
Fantastic opening line. (9 or 10)!! More, more!
Fantastic opening line. (9 or 10)!! More, more!
- BuddyBeagle
- Posts: 3
- Joined: February 13th, 2010, 10:54 am
- Location: Austin
- Contact:
Re: Share your opening sentence!
FAT BASTARD makes lounging on the chaise and watching Monday Night Football entertaining, easy and erotic with his new revolutionary dating manual.
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