Oh Crap Breast Cancer

The writing process, writing advice, and updates on your work in progress
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dios4vida
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by dios4vida » July 18th, 2011, 12:40 pm

Sending prayers your way. Take care, bcomet. You're got friends here if you need us.

Being vulnerable is perhaps the hardest and scariest version of yourself to be. There's nowhere to hide and all of your fears, insecurities, and most-hated-things-about-yourself are out in the open for everyone to see. It's a bit like letting someone read the opus you've poured yourself into for the last several years. You know, that one project that is so close to your heart that it's a part of you. There will be no more secrets once it's out. Everyone will know everything about you and if they don't like what they see then they won't like you.

It's also the most rewarding version of yourself to be. You learn a depth of love and camaraderie that could never be otherwise. Friends become brothers and sisters, and those who don't care or don't like what they see go by the wayside. It's hard to let go but then you learn that your life is richer and better for it. Knowing that those around you accept and love you for all of your faults, even those you've tried to keep hidden, gives you a sense of freedom and belonging that is so sweet it's almost tangible.

Putting yourself out on the forums like this was a huge act of bravery. After all, as much as we have a close-knit, loving community here, you don't know any of us. We're just avatars and typed words on your screen. But you bared yourself to us, strangers, and we love and respect you all the more for that. Had you kept this to yourself, we'd have continued being people you interact with and enjoy chatting with on a writer's forum. But now we're friends, investing in your life, and truly caring about you. We'll be checking up with you and supporting and loving you. I hope that in some way we can ease the burden of this struggle a little bit.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plan to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11
Brenda :)

Inspiration isn't about the muse. Inspiration is working until something clicks. ~Brandon Sanderson

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sierramcconnell
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by sierramcconnell » July 18th, 2011, 6:04 pm

Like with anything that comes with /that/ attached to it, it's frightening. You're probably going to go through a lot of thinking. A lot of sitting and staring and wondering about /stuff/ and /things/. You're going to get mad. You're going to act like nothing is wrong for a long time. You're probably going to be just fine, thanks for a while.

It's tough, when you really think about it. It's one of those things you're never going to completely get through. You live with it. It becomes a part of you forever. It's a family member. Maybe not a very well liked family member. Some days you want to tear it out and throw it down the stairs just to laugh at it. But you own it. And what makes /you/ is the strength with which you own it.

It's not a disease. It's not an illness. It's a part of you. Something to juggle just like anything else. Don't let it rule you or overcome you. Just take it in stride. It was always there, a part of you, and it will always be there, a part of you. Even when you defeat it, it has changed you, and made you different. You're someone better because of it.

Live for the good days, laugh on the bad days, and always, always remember you have friends.
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The blog died...but so did I...and now I'm alive again! OMG.

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Holly
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by Holly » July 18th, 2011, 7:06 pm

bcomet, I'm very sorry to find out you're sick and send my best wishes. You have a lot of friends here who are all in your corner.

lhowell
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by lhowell » July 20th, 2011, 3:31 pm

Hello bcomet,

I am so sorry. I about crapped on Oct 26 2010 when the doctor said those horrible three words "you have cancer" to me. I was diagnosed with lobular breast cancer. And yes it is the most horrying experience anyone can go through and lonely. I had surgery and 33 treatments of radiation. I am proud to see that you are opening up to others, this was difficult for me. Love is the most powerful healing you will need through your journey. Friends and family as well. For me to get through my journey, I made cancer my best friend. As with all best friends, you keep them close, you learn what makes them tick, embrace it so much that the fear is at bay, to keep you strong. Allow yourself to feel all emotions. Most important...ask your doctors a lot of questions, research everything you can about your cancer, understand your treatments and most of all; know all your options. You have my support and if you ever need someone to talk to anytime, I am here...God bless you and sending you peaceful and loving thoughts and prayers...please email lhowell@montereybay.com.

bcomet
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by bcomet » July 20th, 2011, 4:49 pm

You people are so wonderful. Wow. I walked into my biopsy appointment carrying Brenda's ~Jeremiah 29:11 quote and holding hard onto my husband's hand. I have no idea how much I am in for yet, but I am deeply grateful for all these kind words and wishes from all of you here. And, I am learning a LOT about becoming visible, both as a human and as a writer in this lesson too, I think. Thank you from my beating heart.

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taylormillgirl
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by taylormillgirl » July 20th, 2011, 6:10 pm

Holy sh*t, I'd thought this was a manuscript issue, so I'd never clicked on this thread before! I'm sorry to hear about this. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Author of hot & humorous romances, debut novel coming in 2012 from Sourcebooks!
http://macybeckett.com/

bcomet
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by bcomet » July 21st, 2011, 3:35 pm

Learning More About Sharing.
ThreeHeartsNewRGB.jpg
ThreeHeartsNewRGB.jpg (43.37 KiB) Viewed 5803 times
I am an artist. I have exhibited across the country and somewhat abroad (China, Kuwait, Russia...)

This is a heart painting that I made called "Three Hearts." It's about joining hearts. I turned it into a print and a project I call my "1000 Hearts Project" to share with dear friends and also to help support children's causes.

Dear Friends,

I have just learned more. I have just learned that I have invasive ductal carcinoma. (I wish I could cross that out.)

Now for more really hard news: It is treatable but I need immediate surgery. And, in this economy where our income has (temporarily we have hoped but still not beyond the tight part) gone down by 75%, we made a tough decision that was based on the fact that we just couldn't afford our ever-rising health insurance premiums. I am an artist and a (so far mostly unpublished) writer. My husband is a master stone and brick mason. In this economy, we have had to really tighten our belts. I was so healthy and I was doing so much right about that, so when we couldn't afford health insurance anymore (for a while, we thought, on a calculated low risk), we went on the "don't get sick" health plan.

So now, my husband and I are scrambling.

Prayers and good wishes are sooooooo appreciated.

I wish every woman–and man–great health.

Love,

bcomet

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sierramcconnell
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by sierramcconnell » July 21st, 2011, 3:47 pm

If there is a way to donate to you I will throw down. I mean it. :(
I'm on Tumblr!

The blog died...but so did I...and now I'm alive again! OMG.

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Cookie
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by Cookie » July 21st, 2011, 4:49 pm

bcomet wrote:Learning More About Sharing.
ThreeHeartsNewRGB.jpg
I am an artist. I have exhibited across the country and somewhat abroad (China, Kuwait, Russia...)

This is a heart painting that I made called "Three Hearts." It's about joining hearts. I turned it into a print and a project I call my "1000 Hearts Project" to share with dear friends and also to help support children's causes.

Dear Friends,

I have just learned more. I have just learned that I have invasive ductal carcinoma. (I wish I could cross that out.)

Now for more really hard news: It is treatable but I need immediate surgery. And, in this economy where our income has (temporarily we have hoped but still not beyond the tight part) gone down by 75%, we made a tough decision that was based on the fact that we just couldn't afford our ever-rising health insurance premiums. I am an artist and a (so far mostly unpublished) writer. My husband is a master stone and brick mason. In this economy, we have had to really tighten our belts. I was so healthy and I was doing so much right about that, so when we couldn't afford health insurance anymore (for a while, we thought, on a calculated low risk), we went on the "don't get sick" health plan.

So now, my husband and I are scrambling.

Prayers and good wishes are sooooooo appreciated.

I wish every woman–and man–great health.

Love,

bcomet
What about a fundraiser? I'm also an artist, and I'm sure there are others on here, so maybe we could do an art fundraiser for you? It's a thought...

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Holly
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by Holly » July 22nd, 2011, 8:33 am

bcomet wrote: Now for more really hard news: It is treatable but I need immediate surgery. And, in this economy where our income has (temporarily we have hoped but still not beyond the tight part) gone down by 75%, we made a tough decision that was based on the fact that we just couldn't afford our ever-rising health insurance premiums. I am an artist and a (so far mostly unpublished) writer. My husband is a master stone and brick mason. In this economy, we have had to really tighten our belts. I was so healthy and I was doing so much right about that, so when we couldn't afford health insurance anymore (for a while, we thought, on a calculated low risk), we went on the "don't get sick" health plan.

So now, my husband and I are scrambling.

Prayers and good wishes are sooooooo appreciated.

I wish every woman–and man–great health.

Love,

bcomet

Beautiful artwork. You might have already done this, but if not:

* Talk to your hospital's financial aid office -- they should know about programs that can help you.
* A social worker should be able to help you sign up for Medicaid if you go that route, but talk to the hospital first -- some social workers are better than others.
* Check with the local American Cancer Society for programs that help patients pay their bills -- there are some in my area.
* Plus, if you need to take pills, talk to the drug maker about your finances. A lot of the big drug makers have programs where they supply you with free medicine -- look on their website.
* A macrobiotic diet helps some cancer patients (some), but you have to follow it exactly (no cheating to buy an ice cream), plus it is time-consuming. Look up the Kushi Institute if you're interested in more information. The diet is basically short or medium grain brown rice, beans, fresh vegetables, some fruit, fish once a week or not at all, and that's it. No meat (except a little fish), no dairy, no junk food, no sweets, no coffee, no caffeine, no alcohol. You eat foods that are not acidic. A man named Denny Waxman wrote a good, short paperback book about the diet if you want to look it up.
* Walking outside helps your body, if you can do it. Walking jumpstarts your immune system and is a way to connect with nature and find some peace of mind.

Best wishes to you!

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Cookie
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by Cookie » July 22nd, 2011, 11:24 am

Yes, I agree with everything Holly said. The Kushi institute isn't far from my work, and I'm pretty sure my boss' family is acquainted with the owners. I'll talk to my boss about it today.

lhowell
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by lhowell » July 22nd, 2011, 1:41 pm

I posted earlier...I have breast cancer and know exactly what you are stating regarding the expense. These were my options and worked out very well for me. I hope the same for you. American Cancer Society has programs for funding (Relay for Life) after my last radiation treatment I became their Team Captain Pink Diamonds in May. Also, your oncologist will have many funding resources for you, as well as your surgeon. Research under cancer treatment funding on the internet and you will be surprised how many will help with the expense. Go for all the programs made available to you, and the best of luck with your battle and much success with your art.
Lori Howell, cancer survivor.
God bless,

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Holly
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by Holly » July 22nd, 2011, 1:53 pm

lhowell wrote:I posted earlier...I have breast cancer and know exactly what you are stating regarding the expense. These were my options and worked out very well for me. I hope the same for you. American Cancer Society has programs for funding (Relay for Life) after my last radiation treatment I became their Team Captain Pink Diamonds in May. Also, your oncologist will have many funding resources for you, as well as your surgeon. Research under cancer treatment funding on the internet and you will be surprised how many will help with the expense. Go for all the programs made available to you, and the best of luck with your battle and much success with your art.
Lori Howell, cancer survivor.
God bless,
God bless you, too, Lori. You have the right approach, to embrace life with love. In the end, we are not our frail bodies, but we're inside them, and have to deal with whatever life brings us. Whether we have cancer or some other serious illness or problem, it's good to live well every day, embrace every day.

bcomet
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by bcomet » July 23rd, 2011, 11:25 am

Lori, you will be in my thoughts too.

Thank you all for the very helpful advice. It is easy to feel overwhelmed right now and I appreciate every help.

sheribomb
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Re: Oh Crap Breast Cancer

Post by sheribomb » July 23rd, 2011, 1:02 pm

bcomet -- I'm very sorry to hear about your illness. I only just started posting here, so we don't know each other, but I wanted to send you my kind thoughts and happy wishes.

Also, if there is a fundraiser or auction coming up, I'd be willing to donate some items. I'm more of a crafter than an artist, but I have some literary-themed items that I can contribute.

Best wishes,
Sheridan

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