AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

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Hilabeans
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AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Hilabeans » January 7th, 2010, 1:12 pm

REVISION(s) POSTED.


First off, I promise to haunt this forum and try my best to provide constructive feedback to others.
----
My request: Please destroy this query letter - it's the only way it's going to get better. Thanks in advance for your help!!

Dear Awesome Agent:

When seventeen year-old Autumn Reed receives her powers, she learns her entire life has been based on lies. Memory and mood manipulation by those sworn to protect her derail the pursuit of truth. She’s thrown into a war between competing magical factions, forced to make difficult decisions as well as choose between two men. Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual, able to control earth, air, fire and water.

Necromancers abound and resurrect dead armies. Her father and sister become her greatest adversaries as she struggles with a new understanding of life and death. Conflicted, she combats the overbearing influence of others to discover her purpose and the astounding effect of love.

Autumn Leaves is fast-paced, young adult urban fantasy woven with romantic elements. Complete at 80,000 words, it is the first installment of a planned series yet stands on its own.

As a professional writer with a B.S. in Business Administration, I have several years of award-winning experience creating compelling content for newsletters, press releases, websites, and sales collateral. I am ready to use my skills to market and sell Autumn Leaves.

Please see the first ten pages pasted below. I would be thrilled to send the entire manuscript upon your request. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

ME
Last edited by Hilabeans on January 13th, 2010, 6:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
hhs

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Yoshima
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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Yoshima » January 7th, 2010, 1:59 pm

Destruction? You've got it! *evil grin* Everything tucked in the body of your query is what I was thinking as I was reading it.
Hilabeans wrote:First off, I promise to haunt this forum and try my best to provide constructive feedback to others.
----
My request: Please destroy this query letter - it's the only way it's going to get better. Thanks in advance for your help!!

Dear Awesome Agent:

When seventeen year-old (seventeen-year-old) Autumn Reed receives her powers (what kind of powers?), she learns her entire life has been based on lies (based on lies? Very cliche. The precioussss doesn't like cliches ssss ssss.). Memory and mood manipulation by those sworn to protect her derail the pursuit of truth (this is kind of passive.). She’s thrown into a war between competing magical factions, forced to make difficult decisions (like white or wheat bread? be specific.) as well as choose between two men (wait, she's in a love triangle? when the heck did this happen???). Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual, able to control earth, air, fire and water. (This should have gone at the beginning. It's cool! There shouldn't be so much backstory--vague backstory, at that--before the coolest part of your premise.)

Necromancers (wait, now there's dead people around? Where is all of this coming from?? Is this what you meant by magical factions?) abound and resurrect dead armies. Her father and sister become her greatest adversaries as she struggles with a new understanding of life and death (this is cliche-ridden too, I'm afraid. you've got so much cool stuff going on, and then you tell me about "a new understanding..." Snooze. Tell me more about her family trying to kill her, show me the conflict, don't tell me.) Conflicted, (again, show me the conflict) she combats the overbearing influence of others (...doesn't she have power over the elements? That seems kind of powerful to me.) to discover her purpose and the astounding effect of love. (...snooze. Show me what happens to make her understand the astounding effect of love. Show me her purpose. What is she fighting for? What are the stakes? Is she going to save the world, create something better than the pita pocket?)

Autumn Leaves is fast-paced, young adult (young adult is generally fast-paced, so you don't need to say so) urban fantasy woven with romantic elements (if you show the astounding effect of love, it's a given that there's romance). Complete at 80,000 words, it is the first installment of a planned series yet stands on its own. (don't need "yet stands on its own." it should go without saying.)

As a professional writer with a B.S. in Business Administration, I have several years of award-winning experience creating compelling content for newsletters, press releases, websites, and sales collateral. I am ready to use my skills to market and sell Autumn Leaves. (That's awesome...but not necessary in your query. Use the space to tell more about your book.)

Please see the first ten pages pasted below. (sounds like you're begging.) I would be thrilled to send the entire manuscript upon your request. (goes without saying.) Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

ME

My main thing here was that it was mostly telling. Show, show, show. What happens to make her learn that she's being controlled? How does she get in the war? Why is she in the war? Why is her family her adversaries? What's all this about the love triangle? I just feel like it's too vague, and that I don't really have a sense of who Autumn is or what's happening to her. I want to know Autumn. She can control elements, and that's badass. Help me know her.

I hope this is helpful...keep in mind that this is only one person's opinion, so I wouldn't take every single suggestion. Destruction complete. :) Sounds like a cool book! I love all the different fantasy groups you're working with (especially elementalists!!). Good luck revising!

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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by ebradmon » January 7th, 2010, 4:22 pm

Me da’love to get back at people. Baw ha ha ha! (I really do hope this helps!)

Enjoy

Dear Awesome Agent:

When seventeen year-old Autumn Reed receives her powers, (how?) she learns her entire life has been based on lies.(oops sorry this is not hooking me – give me a line or idea that has enough detail and questions that I keep reading!) Memory and mood manipulation by those sworn to protect her derail the pursuit of truth.(how? and by whom?) She’s thrown into a war between competing magical factions, forced to make difficult decisions as well as choose between two men.(Who are the magical fractions? Who are the men? Why does she need to choose?) Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual, able to control earth, air, fire and water. (okay now here is a line I like! It gives specifies of who/what/why – I’d say start with this line then pull in the rest)

Necromancers abound and resurrect dead armies.(sure okay – but why do we care? And I’m scratching my head about how this line ties into the rest of the story) Her father and sister become her greatest adversaries as she struggles with a new understanding of life and death. (Why father, Why sister, why are they her adversaries and how is she struggling. Also Life and Death is a tad cliché for me, explain how Autumn’s life and death is played out.) Conflicted, (by what?) she combats the overbearing influence of others(who are the others?) to discover her purpose(which is…?) and the astounding effect of love. (I like love, but who is the lucky chap whom she astounds it on? How does the love thing mix into this soup?)

Autumn Leaves (I’m either groaning at this title or loving it – can’t decide) is fast-paced, young adult urban fantasy woven with romantic elements. Complete at 80,000 words, it is the first instalment of a planned series yet stands on its own. (Should you add the last line? I’ve read conflicting opinions on if mentioning the series is a good idea.)

As a professional writer (fiction or non-fiction or what industry are we talking about) with a B.S. in Business Administration, I have several years of award-winning (please name awards – or leave this out) experience creating compelling content for newsletters, press releases, websites, and sales collateral. I am ready to use my skills to market and sell Autumn Leaves. (cool)

Please see the first ten pages pasted below. (good – but make sure this is in each agents personal submission guidelines first – okay?) I would be thrilled to send the entire manuscript upon your request. (ah- most agents ask for partials first… can this be said it away that takes that into account) Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Good start here! Big thing is to give us more details. I’m feeling lost as to what the central conflict is about, what the story question is, and why I should be rooting for dear old Autumn?

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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by OneChoice1 » January 7th, 2010, 6:18 pm

I'm interested, but I feel like there's so much more that can be squeezed out of this. I feel like I'm missing out on things and that I can be more emotionally attached than i am. I can't wait to see how you revise your query.

Hilabeans wrote:First off, I promise to haunt this forum and try my best to provide constructive feedback to others.
----
My request: Please destroy this query letter - it's the only way it's going to get better. Thanks in advance for your help!!

Dear Awesome Agent:

When seventeen year-old Autumn Reed receives her powers, she learns her entire life has been based on lies. (Like Harry Potter?) Memory and mood manipulation by those sworn to protect her derail the pursuit of truth. She’s thrown into a war between competing magical factions, forced to make difficult decisions as well as choose between two men. (I feel like you're rushing into telling me all of this. Take your time and add more detail.) Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen(,) or gifted individual, able to control earth, air, fire and water. (Unnecessary. From "Elementalist" I already grasped that she could control elements.)

Necromancers abound and resurrect dead armies. Her father and sister become her greatest adversaries as she struggles with a new understanding of life and death. (Why?) Conflicted, she combats the overbearing influence of others (The Necromancers? Her family? The two men? Who?) to discover her purpose and the astounding effect of love. (You might want to give more details about the Necromancers, her family, why she's feeling conflicted, where the two men come in, etc. Just more details please.)

Autumn Leaves is (a) fast-paced, young adult urban fantasy (Whoa. Too many. Narrow down to the major one. Think of where you want your novel to be located in a bookstore.) woven with romantic elements. Complete at 80,000 words, it is the first installment of a planned series yet stands on its own. (It would be better to tell the agent this after they are interested. Sometimes this can draw them away.)

As a professional writer with a B.S. in Business Administration, I have several years of award-winning experience creating compelling content for newsletters, press releases, websites, and sales collateral. I am ready to use my skills to market and sell Autumn Leaves.

Please seethe first ten pages pasted below. (Please sounds like begging. If including ten pages of your MS is a requirement of the agent, then they don't need to be told this as they are expecting it. If it's not a requirement, don't include it.) I would be thrilled to send the entire manuscript upon your request. Thank you for your consideration.

(The major problem in your story is not standing out so much to me.)

Sincerely,

ME
Jesus loves.

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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Madaboutstories » January 7th, 2010, 9:39 pm

Hilabeans wrote:First off, I promise to haunt this forum and try my best to provide constructive feedback to others.
----
My request: Please destroy this query letter - it's the only way it's going to get better. Thanks in advance for your help!!

Dear Awesome Agent:

When seventeen year-old Autumn Reed receives her powers, she learns her entire life has been based on lies. Memory and mood manipulation by those sworn to protect her derail the pursuit of truth.So basically they can erase/add memory-this would seriously control her behaviour, so she has no control? She’s thrown into a war between competing magical factions,why? forced to make difficult decisions as well as choose between two men.who are these men? Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual, able to control earth, air, fire and water.
I would put this at the beginning-lose the gifted individual, it's repetitive.
Necromancers abound and resurrect dead armies. Her father and sister become her greatest adversaries (again, why?)as she struggles with a new understanding of life and death.A bit cliche. Conflicted, she combats the overbearing influence of others to discover her purpose and the astounding effect of love. She knows they control her mind?

Autumn Leaves is fast-paced, young adult urban fantasy woven with romantic elements. Complete at 80,000 words, it is the first installment of a planned series yet stands on its own.

As a professional writer with a B.S. in Business Administration, I have several years of award-winning experience creating compelling content for newsletters, press releases, websites, and sales collateral. I am ready to use my skills to market and sell Autumn Leaves.

Please see the first ten pages pasted below. I would be thrilled to send the entire manuscript upon your request. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

ME
I tried to break your story to it's bare bones and basically I understand it thus:
A girl discovers she controls the elements, even though she knows others control her memory and mood. Her world is in chaotic war between Necromancers and Lumen, as well as a civil war within her family. Her goal is to break free of the mind control so she can choose which side to be on and which man to love.

I'm sure your story makes sense, but the query is not working for me.
To read a story is to breathe life into society-real or imagined, yet the imagined comes out of the truth.

Laura Hyatt

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Hilabeans
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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Hilabeans » January 7th, 2010, 10:13 pm

I don't know you guys, but I love you. This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear, er, read. Thank you so much. I'll be sure to post my revision for further decimation.

Yoshima – Yep. You’re right. It’s too vague and cliché.

Ebradmon – I appreciate you getting back at me. ;) Thanks for your comments – very helpful.

OneChoice1 – Thank you. I love the questions.

Madaboutstories – Thanks for breaking it down. You’re close. It’s my job to make it clearer.

Please let me know if I can ever be of assistance -- I enjoy being a beta if you ever need it. :)

Thanks again!
hhs
hhs

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"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." - Tolstoy

notw
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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by notw » January 7th, 2010, 11:14 pm

Hilabeans wrote:First off, I promise to haunt this forum and try my best to provide constructive feedback to others.
----
My request: Please destroy this query letter - it's the only way it's going to get better. Thanks in advance for your help!!

Dear Awesome Agent:

When seventeen year-old Autumn Reed receives her powers, she learns her entire life has been based on lies. I am not sure if this is too cliche but, maybe chosoing the word "built" instead of based might have a better outcome? Memory and mood manipulation by those sworn to protect her derail the pursuit of truth. She’s thrown into a war between competing magical factions, forced to make difficult decisions as well as choose between two men. Maybe go into more detail here? Like who the competing factions are or why it is a struggle to choose between the two men.Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual, able to control earth, air, fire and water.

Necromancers abound and resurrect dead armies. Her father and sister become her greatest adversaries as she struggles with a new understanding of life and death. Conflicted, she combats the overbearing influence of others to discover her purpose and the astounding effect of love.

Autumn Leaves is fast-paced, young adult urban fantasy woven with romantic elements. Complete at 80,000 words, it is the first installment of a planned series yet stands on its own.

As a professional writer with a B.S. in Business Administration, I have several years of award-winning experience creating compelling content for newsletters, press releases, websites, and sales collateral. I am ready to use my skills to market and sell Autumn Leaves.

Please see the first ten pages pasted below. I would be thrilled to send the entire manuscript upon your request. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

ME
This is my first time posting so please bear with me as I try my hand at offering constructive criticism :) I think you are off to a good start! Like the others have said before me, I think going into more detail would be helpful. There is a lot of potential in the story you have and this query slightly intrigues me. I think if what was shared was more personal to some of the smaller details like why her father and sister became her greatest allies would provide more of a desire to read your manuscript.

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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Hilabeans » January 8th, 2010, 6:42 pm

Wow, notw. I'm honored to be the catalyst for your first comment. :) You did very well. Thank you for your comments. I hope you'll check out the revision when I post it. I'd love your feedback.
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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by notw » January 8th, 2010, 7:29 pm

Definitely am looking forward to checking out the revision :)

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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Hilabeans » January 10th, 2010, 12:58 am

Revision 1:

Seventeen-year-old Autumn Reed can control the four elements, which sounds great in theory, but not when it rips apart her family and ignites a war. Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual. She has no idea magic exists or how many people want to exploit her.

When she arrives in San Francisco to attend her stepfather’s funeral, a mysterious man named Nathan picks her up from the airport. Attraction explodes between them. On the ride home, in addition to some serious flirting, they are chased by her father’s henchmen. Henry, the dad who abandoned her, is actually the Lumen’s leader. He is also a Necromancer, one who raises the dead and uses souls to increase their power. Innocent people perish as Henry’s tyranny worsens in his pursuit to capture her.

After Autumn receives her powers, her perception of reality shatters. She recoils, but is calmed by her childhood friend, Jonah. Feelings develop between them and she’s forced to choose between him and Nathan.

Hope reawakens and Lumen opposed to Necromancy plot to overtake Henry’s throne. Autumn joins them. Civil war erupts both within the Lumen community and her family. The future of the Lumen race lies with Autumn’s decision, the choice of duty or love.


Slaughter away. :)
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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Yoshima » January 10th, 2010, 8:51 am

Glad I could help the first time 'round. :) Hope this helps, too.

Hilabeans wrote:Revision 1:

Seventeen-year-old Autumn Reed can control the four elements, which sounds great in theory, but not when it rips apart her family and ignites a war (A much better opening than before, but I feel like you've got two big ideas here smooshed in one sentence and fighting for my attention. Maybe separate them out? Or this might just be me, so feel free to ignore.). Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual. She has no idea magic exists or how many people want to exploit her. (I know from your first draft that she doesn't have her powers from birth, but from the opening it sounds like she's had them her whole life. Instead, maybe say something like "On her seventeenth birthday, Autumn Reed learns..." or whatever the situation is; just so we know she wasn't manipulating fire in her crib. It'll also help your last sentence of this paragraph make more sense.)(By the way, Me=hooked!)

When she arrives in San Francisco to attend her stepfather’s funeral, a mysterious man named Nathan picks her up from the airport. Attraction explodes between them (this kind of gives me a...well, dirty image in my head.) On the ride home, in addition to some serious flirting (this phrase is why you don't need the previous sentence; we get it that they like each other.), they are chased by her father’s henchmen (just curious: does she know the henchmen are her father's?). Henry, the dad who abandoned her, is actually the Lumen’s leader. He is also a Necromancer, one who raises the dead and uses souls to increase their power. (Good. Very clear.) Innocent people perish as Henry’s tyranny worsens in his pursuit to capture her.

After Autumn receives her powers, her perception of reality shatters. She recoils (as in hides from her powers? from society? not sure what to picture here), but is calmed by her childhood friend, Jonah. (does he have powers, too?) Feelings develop between them and she’s forced to choose between him and Nathan. (This paragraph seems separate from your plot because there's no mention of how her feelings for one boy or the other are connected with the war and such. Maybe integrate this with your last paragraph somehow, or use the two boys to introduce the Lumen opposed to Necromancy, like what their powers are/ why Autumn might join them.)

Hope reawakens and Lumen opposed to Necromancy plot to overtake Henry’s throne. Autumn joins them (because of Jonah or Nathan, I'm assuming?). Civil war erupts both within the Lumen community and her family (What family? I thought her dad abandoned her and her stepfather was dead.) The future of the Lumen race lies with Autumn’s decision, the choice of duty or love (between siding with her bio father or Nathan/Jonah, right?).


Slaughter away. :)

This is such an improvement over the last one. Really. I feel like I know your story now. The main things I think need some TLC are the last two paragraphs. Right now they don't clue me in on how exactly the love story is connected to the action (beyond that she chooses between Nathan and Jonah and a love triangle is always exciting) or why Autumn feels like she should choose her father's side at all when he's sending his henchmen after her. I know you can't tell all the juicy backstory, and I don't think you should. But if you're going to end your query on a note like this, I think those are two points that need to be illuminated. Great job on the revision. If this were a back cover I'd definitely be interested. :)

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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Holly » January 10th, 2010, 9:59 am

Hilabeans wrote:Revision 1:

Seventeen-year-old Autumn Reed can control the four elements, which sounds great in theory, but not when it rips apart her family and ignites a war. Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual. She has no idea magic exists or how many people want to exploit her.

When she arrives in San Francisco to attend her stepfather’s funeral, a mysterious man named Nathan picks her up from the airport. Attraction explodes between them. On the ride home, in addition to some serious flirting, [is the flirting chasing them?... I would rewrite this sentence] they are chased by her father’s henchmen. Henry, the dad who abandoned her, is actually the Lumen’s leader. He is also a Necromancer, one who raises the dead and uses souls to increase their power. Innocent people perish as Henry’s tyranny worsens in his pursuit to capture her.

After Autumn receives her powers, her perception of reality shatters. She recoils, but is calmed by her childhood friend, Jonah. Feelings develop between them and she’s forced to choose between him and Nathan.

Hope reawakens and Lumen opposed to Necromancy plot to overtake Henry’s throne. Autumn joins them. Civil war erupts both within the Lumen community and her family. The future of the Lumen race lies with Autumn’s decision, the choice of duty or love.


Slaughter away. :)

Hello, I'm struggling with my own query and can see the progress in your revisions. This is your strongest yet. i especially like your first paragraph.

My one criticism: the title doesn't appeal to me. It doesn't say fantasy and just makes me think of leaves falling off the trees in the autumn.

It looks like you probably dropped the bottom half of your letter for the sake of revision, but just in case, the letter needs the name of the novel, genre, the word count, and bio.

Good luck!

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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by notw » January 10th, 2010, 1:11 pm

Hilabeans wrote:Revision 1:

Seventeen-year-old Autumn Reed can control the four elements, which sounds great in theory, but not when it rips apart her family and ignites a war. Autumn is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen or gifted individual. She has no idea magic exists or how many people want to exploit her. Good last sentence.

When she arrives in San Francisco to attend her stepfather’s funeral, a mysterious man named Nathan picks her up from the airport. Attraction explodes between them. On the ride home, in addition to some serious flirting, they are chased by her father’s henchmen. Henry, the dad who abandoned her, is actually the Lumen’s leader. He is also a Necromancer, one who raises the dead and uses souls to increase their power. Innocent people perish as Henry’s tyranny worsens in his pursuit to capture her.

After Autumn receives her powers, her perception of reality shatters. She recoilsHow?, but is calmed by her childhood friend, Jonah. Feelings develop between them and she’s forced to choose between him and Nathan. You might want to add what the consequences would be if she picked one over the other. Just a thought.

Hope reawakens and Lumen opposed to Necromancy plot to overtake Henry’s throne.Autumn joins them. Civil war erupts both within the Lumen community and her family. The future of the Lumen race lies with Autumn’s decision, the choice of duty or love.


Slaughter away. :)
Great job on revising!

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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by Hilabeans » January 13th, 2010, 6:38 pm

Okay. Scalpels ready? Here's the next revision:

Dear Amazing Agent,

Seventeen-year-old Autumn Reed is an Elementalist, the rarest kind of Lumen, able to control the four elements. Lumen, meaning light, are gifted individuals who live amongst us and can conjure magic. When Autumn receives her gifts, a civil war erupts. She has no idea how many people want to exploit her.

Before she learns of magic’s existence, Autumn meets a man named Nathan at the San Francisco airport. He’s a Mentalist, able to manipulate her mind. She has trouble fighting her attraction to him. On the ride home, they are followed by two strangers. They get too close and a dangerous car chase ensues on the rain-slicked streets of Palo Alto. Henry, Autumn’s absent father and the Lumen’s leader, sent the two henchmen to capture her. In addition to having the same powers as his daughter, Henry is a Necromancer, one who raises the dead and uses souls to increase their power. Nathan and Autumn escape, but not for long.

Autumn’s perception of reality shatters when her powers materialize. She recoils and tries to run away. Jonah, her childhood friend and Healer, convinces her to stay. Feelings develop between them and she’s forced to choose between him and Nathan.

With the arrival of Autumn’s abilities, hope reawakens for the Lumen opposed to Necromancy and they plot to overtake Henry’s throne. War ignites within both the magic community and her family. Henry tries to persuade Autumn that their bond is strongest of all. Jonah and Nathan are both against her father, but still not on the same side. The future of the Lumen race lies with Autumn’s decision, the choice of duty or love.

Book info, my bio, and close.


Thanks in advance for your help. To those who have already commented, I owe you!!
Last edited by Hilabeans on January 14th, 2010, 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help

Post by notw » January 13th, 2010, 7:33 pm

Hilabeans wrote:Okay. Scalpels ready? Here's the next revision:

Dear Amazing Agent,

Just after seventeen-year-old Autumn Reed receives her powers, a civil war erupts. Great sentence. Autumn is an Elementalist, able to control the four elements and the rarest ofNot sure if this is a typo. kind of Lumen or gifted individual. She has no idea how many people want to exploit her.

One day prior, she meets a mysterious man named Nathan. He’s a Mentalist and able to manipulate her mind. She can’t help but be attracted to him. While driving to her mother’s house, they are chased by two strangers. Henry, Autumn’s absent dad and the Lumen’s leader, sent them to capture her. In addition to having the same powers as his daughter, Henry is a Necromancer, one who raises the dead and uses souls to increase their Maybe it is just me but I was slightly confused here. Does the "their" mean the necromancers? power. Nathan and Autumn escape, but not for long.

Autumn’s perception of reality shatters with the revelation of a new world. She recoils and tries to run away, but is calmed by her childhood friend, Jonah. Feelings develop between them and she’s forced to choose between him and Nathan.

Hope reawakens and Lumen opposed to Necromancy plot to overtake Henry’s throne. War ignites within both the magic community and her family. Henry tries to persuade Autumn that their bond is strongest of all. Jonah and Nathan are both against her father, but still not on the same side. The future of the Lumen race lies with Autumn’s decision, the choice of duty or love.

Book info, my bio, and close.


Thanks in advance for your help. To those who have already commented, I owe you!!

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