Query: The Soul Baby the Trickster and the Golden Buddha

[Michael Roland]

OK, I love you guys. Especially Quill.

More to come.

[clara_w]

Michael, just comented on your synopsis. I gotta say, the query is brilliant, really liked it.

All right, now I'm not sure if you use Kardecism in your book, but if you ever feel like dipping into Brazilian spiritualism, it would be good to check it out just to be sure. Kardecism is really big between us.

Don't give up, it seems you have a great story!

[elfspirit]

Overall, I loved your query. In fact, I picked it to critique because of the very cool title. And I have a lot of familiarity with the subject.

I think Quill did a fine job of finding the specific nits. I have a more general comment. If this is a true story and you are in fact the Michael of the query (which I'm sure you are), would it make more sense to write it in first-person and call it a memoir. You might have good reasons for doing neither, but I wanted to suggest it.

I also would suggest that towards the end you provide a detail as interesting as the green troll (I kept on hoping that critter would return:))

[Michael Roland]

HI Again,

sgf, Quill, airball, andriodblues, Layla, clara, elfspirit

I'd really like to thank you all for your effort and your kindness.

I realized suddenly, that the query above is not in my voice, like not at all. So, I'm starting from scratch again.

The trouble with real life is that, well, when you tell the truth, it doesn't always sound like a book. But, never the less can still be an interesting read.

More anon...

[Michael Roland]

Take Four, starting over, really, with my own voice this time...


When Michael Roland positions the Brazilian amethyst on his forehead, he has no idea that a secret door to the spirit world is about to be blown wide open.

First he starts seeing ghosts, then a slimy green troll, next strange colors start dropping out of the ceiling. The weird thing is, he is totally sane and knows it. A university shrink is not going to fix this sensory glitch.

Freaked out, but unable to deny his experiences, Michael visits a Cherokee priest who taps him with an eagle feather and gives him a good dressing down about how stupid it is to toy with spiritual matters when you don’t know what you’re doing. Real spiritual knowledge comes through discipline and investigation not cheap tricks with crystals, he tells him.

Michael meets a British born Brazilian spiritista in a grey business suit at a party for university medical doctors. She exorcises the ghost from his condo and they go to Brazil where Michael is rendered into a disheveled heap by a saint in spirit form who transmits direct knowledge into him on how to reach through time and space to heal emotional and spiritual suffering.

After intensive meditation and encounters with tricksters, black shamans, and divine beings, Michael finally realizes his true destiny - to delve into the dark pits of pain and suffering to break the hold of past and even past life trauma, and to open channels of divine light that will flood the dark spaces and enlighten those who seek him out.

The Soul Baby the Trickster and the Golden Buddha is a true story that will appeal to readers of Dan Millman, Marlo Morgan, and Carlos Castaneda.

[Michael Roland]

It's been over a week and nobody's touched this. I'm going with it. Thanks for all the help with previous revisions.

Just so you know (in case anyone is interested), I am in discussion with an agent who asked for, and has read and likes the manuscript. Also, got this lovely letter from another agent:

Dear Michael

I read your proposal with great personal interest. It's wonderful to read of the work you are doing, and indeed encouraging to see how the information about these hitherto unexplained phenomena is just beginning to become accessible as result of books like this...
Unfortunately I don't think our press can quite stretch this far...

You write so well that your book deserves a very much bigger market, and I feel sure that one of the big trade publishers would be very interested in it. I believe HarperCollins are actively looking for books in this area, and amongst the independents, of course Hay House would be a good home for it.

I wish you the best of fortune in finding the right publisher, and look forward to reading it all in its published form!

With best wishes, and thanks for approaching us with this interesting book

XX

So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[kans_007]

Micheal,

It is a well written query. I will give you my 2 cents from the perspective of a reader...

Firstly, the title "The Soul baby the Trickster and the Golden Buddha" is not engaging enough. I am not sure why I would like to pick up a book with such a title. I am sure there must be a valid reason for you to choose that title, but you might want to consider what kind of audience are you trying to attract with it?

Secondly, there seems to be a lot of interesting and mystical things going on with the character's life; however there seems to be somethings missing; a piece of suspense or some kind of fascinating plot to hook my attention to make me want to read it. What is the incentive for the reader in knowing about Michael's life and his spiritual adventures? What makes it more interesting or enlightening that other similar books out there (or is it meant for entertaining) the reader? That's the only portion that is unclear. But it is indeed well written.

Looks like you are already hearing from agents and getting good responses. Good luck!

best wishes,
K