Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

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Louise Curtis
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Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

Post by Louise Curtis » October 2nd, 2010, 10:46 pm

Synopsis of "The Princess and the Pirate"
A 30,000 adventure fantasy book for ages 9-14.

ANA is a princess, and her grandmother SOL is a vicious pirate. Their worlds collide when the mysterious RANSOM sends Ana to find Sol and bring her home. He says Ana’s mum needs Sol’s help – but advises Ana not to actually tell Her Majesty about Sol’s return until later. Much, much later.

When Ana sneaks away from her own ship to meet her long-lost grandmother before anyone else, Sol immediately throws her overboard. It wasn’t the greeting Ana expected - especially the near-drowning part. She is doubly startled the following morning when Sol swims to her ship to demand a lift, having faked her own death and abandoned her crew. Ransom lets Sol on board, but is powerful enough to stop her doing any more harm to Ana. Probably. Ana’s constant eavesdropping doesn’t reassure her of her safety or Sol’s sanity.

Sol insists on sailing to the edge of the world, where her treasure is frozen into the ice. With a little help from some supposedly mythical beasts, Ana's crew gets the treasure on board. There is so much treasure the ship won’t float. Ana attempts to explain to Sol that her Mum has plenty of treasure already, and quickly realises that the best way to reason with Sol is from a safe distance. At last, with magical help from Ana and Ransom, they turn the overloaded ship toward home.

Unfortunately, Sol's pirate crew is mad with grief over their captain’s supposed death. They chase Ana's ship and reach them within a day’s sail of her home island. Sol makes the difficult decision to throw her treasure overboard rather than risk Ana's life. She is unimpressed at love’s ability to complicate her life, and warns Ana against forming similar attachments. Ana sweetly thanks her for her kindness.

The pirates catch them anyway. Sol is fighting her own blind first mate when Ana falls overboard. Ana is very surprised when Sol abandons the fight and dives into the sea to save her. Sol is even more surprised that she, the world's most infamous pirate, would go out of her way to help someone else. She declares that Ana is a bad influence. Ana is delighted. On the down side, her hair looks awful.

Together they swim back to their home island, leaving the fight in Ransom's capable hands. Ana’s mother accepts Sol’s insolent dare to leave her royal life for a life of adventure. She hands over the kingdom to her son.

Ana, her mother, Sol, and the semi-reformed pirates set sail together seeking excitement, mystery, and danger.

What could possibly go wrong?
Last edited by Louise Curtis on October 7th, 2010, 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Adventure fantasy synopsis for 9-14 year olds

Post by clara_w » October 3rd, 2010, 4:20 pm

Louise Curtis wrote: ANA is a princess, and her grandmother SOL is a vicious pirate. Their worlds collide when the mysterious RANSOM sends Ana to find Sol and bring her home. He says Ana’s mum needs Sol’s help – but advises Ana not to actually tell Her Majesty about Sol’s return until later. Much, much later.

When Ana sneaks away from her own ship to meet her long-lost grandmother before anyone else, Sol immediately throws her overboard. It wasn’t the greeting Ana expected - especially the near-drowning part. She is doubly startled the following morning when Sol swims to her ship to demand a lift, having faked her own death and abandoned her crew. Ransom lets Sol on board, but is powerful enough to stop her doing any more harm to Ana. Probably. Ana’s constant eavesdropping doesn’t reassure her of her safety or Sol’s sanity.

Sol insists on sailing to the edge of the world, where her treasure is frozen into the ice. With a little help from some supposedly Id watch out for supposedly or seems in a synopsis. They either are or not.mythical beasts, Ana's crew gets the treasure on board. There is so much treasure the ship won’t float. Ana attempts to explain to Sol that her Mum has plenty of treasure already, and quickly realises that the best way to reason with Sol is from a safe distance. At last, with magical help from Ana and Ransom, they turn the overloaded ship toward home.

Unfortunately, Sol's pirate crew is mad with grief over their captain’s supposed death. They chase Ana's ship and reach them within a day’s sail of her home island. Sol makes the difficult decision to throw her treasure overboard rather than risk Ana's life. She is unimpressed at love’s ability to complicate her life, and warns Ana against forming similar attachments. Ana sweetly thanks her for her kindness.

The pirates catch them anyway. Sol is fighting her own blind first mate when Ana falls overboard. Ana is very surprised when Sol abandons the fight and dives into the sea to save her. Sol is even more surprised that she, the world's most infamous pirate, would go out of her way to help someone else. She declares that Ana is a bad influence. Ana is delighted. On the down side, her hair looks awfulThis is a sentence with a bad timing and that doesnt add anyhting to the synopsis. If anything, it got me wondering: "What the hell?" Id consider loosing it..

Together they swim back to their home island, leaving the fight in Ransom's capable hands. Ana’s mother accepts Sol’s insolent dare to leave her royal life for a life of adventure. She hands over the kingdom to her son.

Ana, her mother, Sol, and the semi-reformed pirates set sail together seeking excitement, mystery, and danger.

What could possibly go wrong?Ha, good one! Just about everything!
I like this synopsis. Needs some carving but its still very good.Good luck!

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Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

Post by androidblues » October 9th, 2010, 9:37 pm

The correct age group is 9-12, which is middle-grade not YA. And this is seeming kinda short even for middle grade, 40,000 words would be better unless this is for a younger audience. I can't really see a 14 or 13 year old reading this, although it sounds great for a nine year old.
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Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

Post by Jenemb » November 2nd, 2010, 8:12 am

I really like your voice, and I love the idea of the grandmother as a pirate.

Good luck with this one!

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Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

Post by hannah_dreamergirl_3 » January 3rd, 2011, 8:36 am

I agree that this isn't YA, if it were you would need to up the word count.
Also, you might want to re-consider the name as there is already quite a well known book called The Princess and the Captain about a kidnapped princess who falls for a pirate, its written by ann-laure bondoux and is a YA nove.
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Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

Post by lunerunit » January 3rd, 2011, 7:29 pm

ANA is a princesshow old is this princess?, and her grandmother SOL is a vicious pirate. Their worlds collide when the mysterious What is so mysterious about him? RANSOM sends Ana to find Sol and bring her home. He says Ana’s mum needs Sol’s help, (I could be wrong, but isn't a comma more appropriate here?) Also -why does Mum need Sol's help? but advises Ana not to actually tell Her Majesty about Sol’s return until later. Much, much later.

When Ana sneaks away from her own ship just a little confused about "her own ship" - Does she live on this ship? Did she steal a ship from her Mum or does she just have her own ship whenever she wants? to meet - maybe meet isn't the right word here. What about confront or cut off, something that implies a confrontation. her long-lost grandmother before anyone else. Sol immediately throws her overboard. It wasn’t the greeting Ana expected - especially the near-drowning part. She is doubly startled the following morning when Sol swims to her ship to demand a lift, having faked her own death and abandoned her crew. Ransom lets Sol on board, but is powerful enough to stop her doing any more harm to Ana. Probably. - Don't like this. Maybe try something like: "believing he is powerful enough to stop her..." and remove probably. Ana’s constant eavesdropping doesn’t reassure her of her safety or Sol’s sanity.

Sol insists on sailing to the edge of the world, where her treasure is frozen into the ice. With a little help from some supposedly mythical beasts - what does this mean? What are the beasts? Why are they supposedly mythical?, Ana's crew gets the treasure on board. There is so much treasure the ship won’t float. Ana attempts to explain to Sol that her Mum has plenty of treasure already, and quickly realises that the best way to reason with Sol is from a safe distance. - Don't understand this sentence. It's confusing and you don't need it. Maybe replace it with something like "Ana finds there is no reasoning with Sol. She is stubborn, dangerous, and will not give up her treasure." At last, with magical help from Ana Does Ana possess magical powers? Ransom too? Maybe you should mention this sooner.and Ransom, they turn the overloaded ship toward home.

Unfortunately, Sol's pirate crew is mad with grief over their captain’s supposed death. Do they think Ana & Ransom killed her?They chase Ana's ship and reach them within a day’s sail of her home island. Sol makes the difficult decision to throw her treasure overboard rather than risk Ana's life. She is unimpressed at love’s ability to complicate her life, and warns Ana against forming similar attachments. Ana sweetly thanks her for her kindness.First mention of Ana behaving like a princess. So far she seems pretty tough to be going on an adventure like this. Perhaps a few more insights to her character could be added sooner.

The pirates catch them anyway. Sol is fighting her own blind first mate when Ana falls overboard. Ana is very surprised when Sol abandons the fight and dives into the sea to save her. Sol is even more surprised that she, the world's most infamous pirate, would go out of her way to help someone else. She declares that Ana is a bad influence. Ana is delighted. On the down side, her hair looks awful.

Together they swim back to their home island, leaving the fight in Ransom's capable hands. Ana’s mother accepts Sol’s insolent dare to leave her royal life for a life of adventure. She hands over the kingdom to her son.

Ana, her mother, Sol, and the semi-reformed pirates set sail together seeking excitement, mystery, and danger.

What could possibly go wrong?
I also like this synopsis. It has good voice and sounds like a fun and entertaining adventure.

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Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

Post by allegedauthor » January 5th, 2011, 8:55 pm

I would market this as upper MG if you feel it contains scenes that would appeal to older kids but not enough to be true YA. It is a market that is steadily growing right now. Upper MG can encompass 9-14 if the plot is violent enough. But never base anything on age because What Jaime Saw was meant for MG and was bumped in many instances to YA even though it focused on a kid who was 9. Just my own opinion though! And try to stay away from -ly adverbs and transitions. :) Good luck, matey!

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Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

Post by ShadowFlame » February 4th, 2011, 4:55 pm

androidblues wrote:The correct age group is 9-12, which is middle-grade not YA. And this is seeming kinda short even for middle grade, 40,000 words would be better unless this is for a younger audience. I can't really see a 14 or 13 year old reading this, although it sounds great for a nine year old.
i agree im 11(and although i love to read YA and have a over 16 year old reading age i doubt any of my friends would want to read about a princess and a pirate) and also the word count falls a little short.

you have a great plot though and it seems very well thought out and although i think you should maybe lower the reading age(i personally wouldn't go over 10) with a good query letter i think you could get lucky :) hope i helped
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Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

Post by slavandria » March 16th, 2011, 10:56 am

ANA is a princess, and her grandmother SOL is a vicious pirate. Their worlds collide when the mysterious RANSOM who is Ransom? Is he a protector? A mage? Maybe a brief hint would help here. How can he be mysterious if he knows Ana well enough to send her away? Maybe 'mysterious' isn't the best word. just a thoughtsends Ana to find Sol and bring her home. He says Ana’s mum needs Sol’s help – take out hyphen and replace with commabut advises Ana not to actually tell Her Majesty about Sol’s return until later. Much, much later.why? what is Ransom's plan? Is he trying to kill Sol? If so, why? this all seems very secretive. Does Ana trust Ransom? Is she fearful of him?

When Ana sneaks away from her own ship to meet her long-lost grandmother before anyone elseI think you can take out 'before anyone else', Sol immediately throws her overboard. It wasn’t the greeting Ana expected - especially the near-drowning part. She is doubly startled the following morning when Sol swims to her ship to demand a lift, having faked her own death and abandoned her crew.Is this the same morning Sol tosses Ana over or is the next 'following' morning? How does Ana know at this point if Sol faked her own death and abandoned her crew? If the boats are close enough, wouldn't they see each other? Ransom lets Sol on board, but is powerful enough to stop her doing any more harm to Ana. this seems to be a POV issue to me. We are seeing the synopsis, the story up until now in Ana's POV, but here it seems to teeter on Ransom's. How does he stop Sol from hurting Ana? And does he 'let' Sol on board or does he capture her and bring her on board? is there some sort of fight that ensues? Probably. Ana’s constant eavesdropping doesn’t reassure her of her safety or Sol’s sanity.

Sol insists on sailing to the edge of the world, where her treasure is frozen into the ice. With a little help from some supposedlyi would delete supposedly. they either are or they aren't :) mythical beasts, Ana's crew gets the treasure on board. There is so much treasure the ship won’t float. I'd like to find a treasure like this. :)Ana attempts to explain to Sol that her Mum has plenty of treasure already, and quickly realises that the best way to reason with Sol is from a safe distancewhy? what does Sol do to Ana? where is Ransom to protect her?. At last, with magical help from Ana and Ransom, they turn the overloaded ship toward home. so Sol and Ransom are friends now?

Unfortunately, Sol's pirate crew is mad with grief over their captain’s supposed death. why didn't they pursue the boat to the ends of the world and fight over the treasure?They chase Ana's ship and reach them within a day’s sail of her home island. Sol makes the difficult decision to throw her treasure overboard rather than risk Ana's life. I'm not following the conflict here or the resolution. What makes Sol change her mind about Ana? is this a story about Ana or Sol? If Ana's (which I think it is), then the conflict and resolution needs to come from Ana. What is her conflict with Sol (more than Sol being a pirate), and what does Ana do to overcome the conflict. how does she make Sol like, maybe even love, her?She is unimpressed at love’s ability to complicate her life, and warns Ana against forming similar attachments. Ana sweetly thanks her for her kindness.

The pirates catch them anyway.I would take out the 'anyway'. Sol is fighting her own blind first mate when Ana falls overboard. Ana is very surprised when Sol abandons the fight and dives into the sea to save her. Sol is even more surprised that she, the world's most infamous pirate, would go out of her way to help someone else. She declares that Ana is a bad influence. Ana is delighted. On the down side, her hair looks awful.what does hair have anything to do with anything? :)

Together they swim back to their home island, leaving the fight in Ransom's capable hands. Ana’s mother accepts Sol’s insolent dare to leave her royal life for a life of adventure. She hands over the kingdom to her son. this should wrap up why Ransom wanted to bring Sol on board. What is Ransom after, how was it resolved. Why did he want it? Was the question answered?

Ana, her mother, Sol, and the semi-reformed pirates set sail together seeking excitement, mystery, and danger.this doesn't seem plausible to me. I read a lot of kids books and YA and unless the mom was always sort of a swashbuckler and never really wanted to be queen, then this seems sort of an odd way to end this story. Why would the queen allow her daughter to hook up with pirates?

What could possibly go wrong?

Not having read your story, I feel at a loss because I'm not sure if any of the questions I've raised are addressed in the book. My first impression is that there are some plot issues, which would turn me away from the story if I were an agent or publisher. If these plot issues have been addressed and are worked out in the story, then the synopsis should reflect those plots. It sounds like it could be a very endearing story and certainly chocked full of rollicking fun. I think, though, I would focus on developing and explaining the plots and resolutions a bit more to keep this from hitting a slush pile because it really deserves so much more. I wish you the best of luck with it! :)

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