Share your opening sentence!

The writing process, writing advice, and updates on your work in progress
Guardian
Posts: 563
Joined: September 29th, 2010, 4:36 pm
Location: Somewhere between two realms
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Guardian » September 29th, 2010, 6:32 pm

Mark17 wrote:From THE FERRYMAN
Charlie had been a ferryman since the day he died.
This one is giving a really good atmosphere and I can visualize it immediately.

Here is my one from my angelic fantasy, CRYSTAL SHADE.

"Thousands of stars could tell thousands of stories.”

And the opening paragraph from my sci-fi, NIGHTFALL (Cover page before Chapter 1).

"Throughout our history, ships were designed and built, commissioned and sailed.
Many desperately called for help; waited to be rescued, waited to be saved.
Some of their voices faded in time to live in our legends, to never forget them.
Now one desperately calls for help, but for her, no one remembers.
She has no past, as she never existed.
Until now."

User avatar
jzweig
Posts: 33
Joined: September 12th, 2010, 9:25 pm
Location: Indianapolis
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by jzweig » September 29th, 2010, 10:23 pm

Opening sentience from my current WIP.

The sun rose over the eastern horizon spreading its light over volcanic mountain glass that glistened in the sun’s rays.
"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Mohammad Ali

http://storiesofsleeplessmind.blogspot.com/
http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/jzwegii

amyashley
Posts: 83
Joined: August 19th, 2010, 3:02 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by amyashley » October 2nd, 2010, 7:52 pm

I like THE FERRYMAN sentence, and the one about the girl's tongue getting her into trouble.

Here's mine from WHAT A PAINE! my UF novel. Going through final revisions now-queries going out this month!!


I hadn’t expected to be chatting up a couple of lingerie clad sixty year old succubi this evening.

Anobile1
Posts: 45
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:04 am
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Anobile1 » October 4th, 2010, 5:46 am

From my current WIP:

Yora curled her fingers around the brakes and set her foot down on the newly rain-washed pavement.
My Blog: http://amorenanobile.blogspot.com/ (Most recent post: Inspiration Patterns and an Old Friend)

xouba
Posts: 49
Joined: May 11th, 2010, 3:27 am
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by xouba » October 4th, 2010, 6:55 am

amyashley wrote:I hadn’t expected to be chatting up a couple of lingerie clad sixty year old succubi this evening.
This is a GREAT sentence! It makes me want to read more :-)

The first sentence of one of my numerous never-to-be-finished WIPs:

Sitting on the top of a half-collapsed building of the Ash City wasn't what Eki thought “fun”; but those were the orders.

Mark17
Posts: 30
Joined: September 26th, 2010, 11:27 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Mark17 » October 4th, 2010, 11:11 am

I hadn’t expected to be chatting up a couple of lingerie clad sixty year old succubi this evening.

I love this, I have no idea where this story is going and want to know more.

mightymouse88
Posts: 12
Joined: September 29th, 2010, 2:45 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by mightymouse88 » October 4th, 2010, 8:22 pm

Good God, leaving was a really bad idea. Opens my prologue.
I lied to everybody, but not because I needed to or because I wanted to. It's just hard to tell the truth when you lie to yourself more than anyone else. Opens my Ch 1

PS, I'm looking for a Crit Partner if anyone is interested : ) Genre is Literary Fiction. Email is smithem@bgsu.edu and my blog is mightymouse88-hypotheticallyspeaking.blogspot.com

Uh... the one above me doesn't have an opening line? Hm...

amyashley
Posts: 83
Joined: August 19th, 2010, 3:02 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by amyashley » October 5th, 2010, 9:18 am

**Thanks for the compliments all!

Jessa
Posts: 37
Joined: October 5th, 2010, 12:42 am
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Jessa » October 5th, 2010, 9:29 am

I'm not usually one to try and write the compelling opening sentence. Because let's face it, even if you pick up a book to browse through in the bookstore, no matter how good the opening sentence is, if the rest of the page isn't as good you're going to put it down.

That said, the first sentence in the book I'm shopping around now is:
The three photographs on the glass countertop of my front display case weren't bleeding.

The first sentence in my current WIP is:
I twined one ankle around the leg of my stool and debated lunging for the last slice of pizza, but the radio on its sturdy shelf behind me was playing someone's scratchy rendition of "I'm A Little Teapot" so I decided not to.

User avatar
Heather B
Posts: 234
Joined: May 23rd, 2010, 7:56 pm
Location: Newcastle - the Australian one.
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Heather B » October 6th, 2010, 1:04 am

It was the year 1850; or at least, it was today.
Journey to the Cuckoo's Nest

http://heathermbryant.blogspot.com.au/

amyashley
Posts: 83
Joined: August 19th, 2010, 3:02 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by amyashley » October 10th, 2010, 12:45 pm

Heather B, I like that one.


Here is my freshest, since I just sent out queries on my last line entered. The novel is titled "SHE'S A COLD BLOODED FLAKE"


Frankly, it was the bloodstains on the dress that were worrying her more than how to dispose of the body.

theepicwinner
Posts: 33
Joined: August 11th, 2010, 7:21 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by theepicwinner » October 10th, 2010, 7:25 pm

Current WIP:

It didn't take very long for Mona to come to the conclusion her father was trying to kill her.
"If you can think it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it" - Evan Taubenfeld

Don't give up on your dreams.

theepicwinner
Posts: 33
Joined: August 11th, 2010, 7:21 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by theepicwinner » October 10th, 2010, 7:29 pm

jzweig wrote:Opening sentience from my current WIP.

The sun rose over the eastern horizon spreading its light over volcanic mountain glass that glistened in the sun’s rays.
I have a natural aversion to books that begin with a description of the weather. And I know exactly why. They bore the hell out of me.

I hope you'll appreciate my honesty, I don't mean to offend.
"If you can think it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it" - Evan Taubenfeld

Don't give up on your dreams.

theepicwinner
Posts: 33
Joined: August 11th, 2010, 7:21 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by theepicwinner » October 10th, 2010, 7:32 pm

Louise Curtis wrote:I'll be interpreting "sentence" as "paragraph". This is the beginning of book 1 of my kids' fantasy adventure trilogy.

THE MONSTER APPRENTICE

I awoke from a dead sleep – for once, a sleep without nightmares. My bedroom was pitch black and silent, but my heart was racing. Then the sound came again – a man shouting at the top of his voice. He pounded at my family’s front door.
Love this.
"If you can think it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it" - Evan Taubenfeld

Don't give up on your dreams.

User avatar
Beethovenfan
Posts: 322
Joined: August 23rd, 2010, 11:45 pm
Contact:

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Beethovenfan » October 11th, 2010, 2:35 am

Heather B wrote:It was the year 1850; or at least, it was today.
This sounds like it might be a time travel kind of story, and I'm a sucker for time travel stories! Today it's 1850, but tomorrow, perhaps it will be 2150? I absolutely want to read more! :)

Here's mine.
Nahaveeta stood on a rock at the edge of the river watching the rocks slice the otherwise smooth surface, and debated whether that wispy moss really was the hair of ooneepeets waiting just beneath the surface to grab her ankles.
"Don't only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine."
~ Ludwig van Beethoven

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Ahrefs [Bot] and 16 guests