Nathan Bransford wrote: Congrats to katehyde, whose page is below:
Title: The Vestibule of Heaven
Genre: "Book club" fiction
Word count: 250
I knew her, of course, the first time she came to the house; one of the advantages of being dead is the ability to see beneath the surface.
When I willed the house and all its contents to her, I hadn’t ever seen her, not in all the thirty years since she first slipped into the world; all I had was her first name, Kelly, and one faded Polaroid picture of her at about a year old. I knew she had June Rose’s red hair and Victor’s green eyes; beyond that she just looked like a baby, like they all do at that age.
I gave the lawyers a copy of that picture, but I didn’t have much hope they’d ever be able to find her. But I wasn’t counting on the angels. I think they helped. At any rate, eventually—I don’t keep track of time any more; could have been a week, could have been years—the lawyers found her, and she came. My granddaughter came to me at last.
When I made that will, I only thought of her—that I could maybe give her something to make up to her for everything she’d lost, a piece of the family she’d never had. I never expected to be around even to see how it all worked out. But things are different on the other side from what I’d thought, and it looks like my leaving her the house was a pretty important thing for me as well.
I was a little lost in following the info and character thoughts. I think it's a good concept and interesting premise. Mostly I was left wanting to hear more emotional connection stuff instead of all that background information. Does that make sense? Maybe hold off on the details of lawyers and wills and focus on what it feels like for this character to see and be around Kelly. IMO, I'd rather get invested in your MC before reading the details and the how's of what is going on.
Again, hope this makes sense. The day job fried my brain today. :D