Query: Heaven - Rev. 1

Share your blood sweat tears query for feedback and lend your hard-won expertise to others
commando8
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Re: Query: Heaven - Rev. 1

Post by commando8 » August 22nd, 2010, 6:53 pm

Wow, Quill!! That's some serious commentary (and a nice kick in the pants, if I may say so)! Thank you for your help.

Edit: As I go back and read through these comments and my queries and actually go through each chapter in the story, I realize that my queries are actually way off! Half of the things in there don't even happen in the novel (like Slade hiding and Mel knowing where he is)!! Guess they just sounded good, so I threw them in there.

Anyone else have trouble with this? And maybe a better question, do agents really care if your story doesn't exactly match your query (kind of like a resume to get your foot in the door)?

Bottom line: I need to rewrite...

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J. T. SHEA
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Re: Query: Heaven - Rev. 1

Post by J. T. SHEA » August 22nd, 2010, 9:04 pm

Yes, Commando8, if half the things in your query don't happen in the novel, I'd say you have a problem, to put it mildly! Kind of like a half-false resume.

commando8
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Re: Query: Heaven - Rev. 1

Post by commando8 » August 22nd, 2010, 11:32 pm

Yeah, I expect some harsh response (a lot worse than that!). It's probably deserved.

It still begs the question, though, that if an agent likes your query, requests pages, and finds out that your story/query don't quite match, does he just drop it there, even if he loved the pages? Not that I'm planning on going that way. Just curious...

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cheekychook
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Re: Query: Heaven - Rev. 1

Post by cheekychook » August 22nd, 2010, 11:47 pm

The agent/writer relationship, like any partnership, should ideally be based on trust---you trust the agent to do right by you and your book, the agent trusts you to be honest about your work. Even if the agent "loves your pages" the discrepancy between what you said in your query and what you actually present in your work has to give pause, on many levels. I wouldn't think most agents would be comfortable representing someone who has falsely represented his/her own work. It's like finding out your new significant other has lied to you---it doesn't make the person any less attractive physically, but it can definitely make you question if you want to continue dating.

Question---if you're describing your story a certain way in your query I would think it's because that description makes the story sound good...and if those story elements make the plot sound so good shouldn't you consider adding them to your actual work?
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commando8
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Re: Query: Heaven - Rev. 1

Post by commando8 » August 23rd, 2010, 11:15 am

Question---if you're describing your story a certain way in your query I would think it's because that description makes the story sound good...and if those story elements make the plot sound so good shouldn't you consider adding them to your actual work?
Yes. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case with this Rev. 1 query, so it's back to the original to get some 'real' modifications...

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