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D.S. Deshaw
Posts: 65
Joined: July 22nd, 2010, 2:27 am

Re: QUERY - Toxic *REVISION 3*

Post by D.S. Deshaw » August 13th, 2010, 3:18 am

Hi! I just thought I'd give some small input :)

The only thing that really turned me off was something really small.
her new town is so high on the creep-o-meter scale that it needs some new numbers.
I think "new numbers" should be more specific, but not necessarily what number. It's just that scales are usually 1-10, and adding some new numbers to a scale kind of doesn't make sense to me. It would need a new scale altogether, like 1-20. Something more like "it needs another half-dozen numbers" might work better, or even saying "that it broke" could say what you mean as well.

It's just one thing though :) probably an obsolete worry. It's a good query and I think thewhipslip had great commentary! Good luck!
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