A Question on Mixed Tenses

[Margo]

I'm mortified that I have to ask this question, but my research has been painfully unhelpful. I'm desperate. Help?

Question: Is it ever okay to mix past tense with present perfect?

I'm working on a project in the first person, past tense. At one point my MC is conveying something that happened before the events of the story, using past perfect. For a couple of sentences, however, my MC is describing something that is ongoing in the story, using present perfect. Is this incorrect? If so, what tense is an appropriate substitute? My concern is that using past perfect will not convey the ongoing nature of certain events and set them apart from the one-time event already being described in past perfect.

I have seen a popular author in the same sub-genre mix past and present perfect in her books. However, that doesn't necessarily make it a good idea, nor does the fact that a bestselling author does it prove that I can get away with it.

Thoughts?

[Holly]

Can you post the text?

[Margo]

Can you post the text?

Sure. I suspected that might be necessary for people to see where I'm going. It's UF, by the way.

Evan had loved his parents right up until the moment he had lost himself to his true nature, to the lineage he had denied most of his life. They knew that now, Gwen and Connor, that their son had not wanted to kill them. I have told them so, often. We have talked about the days that led up to their deaths, and the murder, and about what has become of Evan since he lost his battle. About how he had come to me for help and I had failed him and about how I would put him to rest someday, for all our sakes.

[polymath]

I think the hunch something's not quite settled about the time comes from the temporal regression tendency of past perfect constructions and forward progressions of present and future perfect. To me, the passage reads like an introspection flashback regressing three times in time in the first sentence, forward then backward in the second, further back in the third. Forward in the fourth, and so on. It seems like the time is jumping around rather than happening in the moment of the viewpoint character's thoughts. It does, however, contain good expression of Free Indirect Thought.

Expressing the passage without any perfect tenses might illustrate how other time terms seamlessly serve time transition purposes and keep plot movement moving forward. "the moment," "now" "the days" "since" "someday" for example.

//Evan loved his parents right up until the moment he lost himself to his true nature, to the lineage he denied most of his life. They knew that now, Gwen and Connor, that their son didn't want to kill them. I told them so, often. We talked about the days that led up to their deaths, and the murder, and about what became of Evan since he lost his battle. About how he came to me for help and I failed him and about how I would put him to rest someday, for all our sakes.//

[Margo]

Expressing the passage without any perfect tenses might illustrate how other time terms seamlessly serve time transition purposes and keep plot movement moving forward. "the moment," "now" "the days" "since" "someday" for example.

Thank you, polymath. I suspected you'd come up with a good way to address this. I see what you mean and totally agree.

[Holly]

Can you post the text?

Sure. I suspected that might be necessary for people to see where I'm going. It's UF, by the way.

Evan had loved his parents right up until the moment he had lost himself to his true nature, to the lineage he had denied most of his life. They knew that now, Gwen and Connor, that their son had not wanted to kill them. I have told them so, often. We have talked about the days that led up to their deaths, and the murder, and about what has become of Evan since he lost his battle. About how he had come to me for help and I had failed him and about how I would put him to rest someday, for all our sakes.

I'm back, hours later. Polymath came up with a great solution. I would leave one of the hads in the first line.

Evan loved his parents right up until the moment he lost himself to his true nature, to the lineage he had denied most of his life.

[polymath]

You're welcome, Margo, I'm happy to be of service.

I'm not a fan of pluperfects because they tend to stall plot flow. However, they can emphasize time transitions when time sense terms don't quite serve, if used judiciously and timely, as in Holly's recast example.

I'm a devotee of the principle, Never say never. Many, if not all, prohibitive writing principles are artfully contravened at one time or another.

[Margo]

And thanks to you, as well, Holly. Much appreciated.

[deepsesh]

A similar question...

Is the below passage ok? I'm jumping tenses :(

I went upstairs slowly, looking at the beautiful pictures on the wall. I was alone. The others had rushed off to select their rooms, leaving me behind to fend for myself. I didn’t mind, I enjoyed the beauty in silence.

If i change it to the below para i wouldn't be jumping so much. But it sounds dull for some reason :(

I went upstairs slowly and looked around at the beautiful pictures on the wall. I was alone. The others had rushed off to select their rooms and left me behind to fend for myself. I didn’t mind, I enjoyed the beauty in silence.

[Bryan Russell/Ink]

It's okay, as long as you set the tense properly (which you did).

[deepsesh]

:) Good!

Thanks!