Embarassing lines in my book

[Nomad0404]

So the first fifth of my manuscirpt has been sent to my editors to go over while I continue getting the other 20 or so chapters in some kind of half finished state at least.

So I got an email from Allison on Firday that points out that I have written the following line in my book:

He fought the urge to withdraw and gripped the shaft.

Now taken out of context that's obviously rather rude and just a touch embarassing. (In context it's referring to a magical walking stick that has blasted the character with an electric shock.)

Anyone else had the same sort of thing happen to them?

Phil

[dios4vida]

I haven't done anything blatantly embarassing like that (that I know of, at least...) but I've had some interesting typos over the manuscripts.

For instance, in my first book the protag is given a small box with magical properties that can shield her from enemies. The giver of this gift was supposed to say "I hope it brings you LUCK on your journey" but instead he said "I hope it brings you LUNCH on your journey."

Hmm, some kind of never-ending lunchbox??

I think we all do things like that now and again, and as long as we can all get a good laugh out of them I think it's part of being a writer. :)

[Nomad0404]

Maybe you were hungry when you wrote it! :)

[Robin]

Phil- LOL!! You can always try a hand at romance (or erotica) if all else fails.
Its a good thing that was caught.

[HillaryJ]

"I hope it brings you LUNCH on your journey."

:)

That's straight out of LOTR. Now, is there anything that can give me SECOND BREAKFAST on my journey?

[dios4vida]

"I hope it brings you LUNCH on your journey."

:)

That's straight out of LOTR. Now, is there anything that can give me SECOND BREAKFAST on my journey?

Wow, you guys are cracking me up! I was totally embarassed by that but now I'm loving it (no reference to McDonald's intended)! Thanks! :)

[Margo]

Um, yeah, I have one every bit as good as that, but it's too horrid to post. I was trying to get inventive with a verb to replace 'grab' and came up with a turn of phrase that belongs only in hardcore porn, so sayeth a major editor. I'll let everyone imagine what the phrase might have been. It's one of the few cases wherein the reality really is worse than what you can imagine.

[otherside89girl]

Um, yeah, I have one every bit as good as that, but it's too horrid to post. I was trying to get inventive with a verb to replace 'grab' and came up with a turn of phrase that belongs only in hardcore porn, so sayeth a major editor. I'll let everyone imagine what the phrase might have been. It's one of the few cases wherein the reality really is worse than what you can imagine.

Tell us what it was!!

[Margo]

:) I would tell, but I know there are minors who read the forum posts. It was that bad. I can't imagine why I didn't catch it before the editor did.

[Bryan Russell/Ink]

I'm thinking grab = jerk... and onward from there!

What an odd guessing game.

[Wolfe3141]

:) I would tell, but I know there are minors who read the forum posts. It was that bad. I can't imagine why I didn't catch it before the editor did.

Okay send us a Pm? I'm dying to know what the word was without hitting the thesaurus!

[Margo]

I'm thinking grab = jerk... and onward from there!

What an odd guessing game.

Yeah...waaaaay onward.

[Margo]

:) I would tell, but I know there are minors who read the forum posts. It was that bad. I can't imagine why I didn't catch it before the editor did.

Okay send us a Pm? I'm dying to know what the word was without hitting the thesaurus!

PM sent, but I'm not paying for your therapy to erase the image from your traumatized mind. :)

[Pete]

I haven't come across anything quite like that but I did find this while editing the other day.

"Fin, please," pled Ned.

I nearly vomited on my keyboard.

[rdgreen]

Typo catcher: Have your stuff read aloud
Say, I'm a newbie here, but I thought I'd pass along something I've found quite helpful when it comes to self-editing: I've been using text-to-speech software to have my work "read aloud" to me.

For those who are not familiar with this, text-to-speech software will read out loud any passage that can be displayed on a computer (with some exceptions.) The beauty of this is that the software will verbalize exactly what is written. We all proof-read our work, yet how many times have we written "form" instead of "from", or made any number of similar typos? (Lunch instead of launch?) The eye is easily fooled, and often "fills in" the missing/broken piece, especially with work we are familiar with (such as our own!) But if your eye didn't catch it, your ear definitely will. Better still, the experience of having your work read aloud will help you catch problems with grammar, pacing, and repeated words or phrases.

Not perfect but...
Admittedly, the sound of the computer reading your work can be rather dry, if not downright stiff and annoying. But the recent crop of programs are fairly respectable, and you will be amazed at what it will reveal to you about your own work. Best of all, there are free programs available that do a decent job. I've been using something called "Speakonia", which can be downloaded for free from the CNET site (one I find particularly trustworthy.)

Look here: http://download.cnet.com/Speakonia/3000 ... ?tag=mncol

Easier than you think
The nice thing about Speakonia is that it will read from the "copy/paste" buffer. What this means is if you have a Word doc open (or Frame, or whatever), highlight some text then "copy" it (ctrl-C), Speakonia will immediately start to read that portion out loud. One caveat: be sure to download the Microsoft voices (Sam, Mary, Mike) for improved voice quality. They are available from the Speakonia web site. (BTW: I'm not affiliated with Speakonia, or putting in a plug for it.)

Give it a try. It only takes a moment to download and get going. Almost certainly you will be impressed, or at least just smile. I'll be happy to post more detailed tips and instructions if someone requests it.