50 Procrastination Techniques for Aspiring Writers

[writeitsideways]

50 Procrastination Techniques for Aspiring Writers


So, you’re supposed to be writing, but what are you really doing?

How much of your writing session is taken up by petty, unproductive distractions?

Perhaps these 50 procrastination techniques sound familiar:

1. Check your email.
2. Answer your email.
3. Moderate your blog comments.
4. Re-organize your documents folder.
5. Look for blog photos on Flickr.
6. Scan articles on GoogleReader.
7. Catch up on some tweets.
8. Count your Facebook fans.
9. Change into your official writing uniform (jammies).
10. Read up on debut author advances.
11. List things to buy when your $100,000,000,000,000 advance comes through.
12. Employ the phone book flip-and-point technique to generate character names for your novel.
13. Re-arrange your desk.
14. Browse famous writing rejection letters.
15. Research headshot photographers.
16. Research latest hairstyles for your headshot.
17. Practice poses in the mirror for your headshot.
18. Comment on agent/editor/author blogs, hoping to get noticed.
19. Write a blog post on procrastination techniques.
20. Place an online order for new writing accessories.
21. Research potential agents for your novel (before it’s written).
22. Choose actors to star in the movie-version of your novel.
23. Sharpen your pencil.
24. Test the drawer full of half-used pens you’ve accumulated over the past ten years.
25. Make a cup of coffee.
26. Clean your coffee maker with vinegar (because your coffee is starting to taste funky).
27. While waiting for your coffee maker to air-out, test every cafe in a 20-block radius for which is the most writerly.
28. Iron your underwear (in case you get hit by a bus on your way home from the cafe with your manuscript under your arm, and are published posthumously).
29. Prepare a statement for the press in case you become famous posthumously.
30. Check your word count.
31. Calculate your average word count per day, week, month, and year.
32. Make a big list of synonyms for sparkling and misty.
33. Look up the current short-list for the Pulitzer.
34. Compare your novel to those on the Pulitzer short-list.
35. Compare your first chapter to the Amazon excerpts of every novel in your genre.
36. List ways in which your writing is better than all those published books.
37. Design the cover for your novel (in case the art department asks for your input).
38. List your potential pen names.
39. Research e-readers for possible purchase.
40. Calculate how much money you could save by purchasing e-books instead of hardcovers.
41. Read book reviews on Publisher’s Weekly.
42. Go through all your old writing attempts. Guffaw.
43. Prepare a pre-writing snack.
44. Eat the pre-writing snack whilst still in kitchen.
45. Prepare a post-writing snack.
46. Eat the post-writing snack early (it was looking a bit soggy).
47. Clean your keyboard--especially the crumbs in all those little grooves.
48. Perform eye exercises to prevent strain.
49. Look up articles on how to overcome writer’s block.
50. Nap. Dreams are always inspiring.

Just a thought, but perhaps aspiring writers who procrastinate too much are destined to always be aspiring.

What procrastination techniques do you really need to give up?

[MsBrouhaha]

Hm, I'll add 51. Reading lists of procrastination techniques and 52. Reading masses of entries in the guest blog competition (seriously, so much talent here).

Great post!

[Steppe]

Quality article here.

In answer to the question; I either write or I don't.
To push deeper: engaging in the fear of failure is a strong suspect.

Nice piece, very creative and sublimely humorous.

[adam.purple]

52. See if anyone has responded to your procrastination posts.

[Mira]

Ha! Funny. I especially liked #49.

Cute post.

[stephmcgee]

1, 2, 30, 43, 44, 45, 46, 50


Those are all ones I need to moderate better. Some are necessary evils of today's world (i.e. e-mail) but should be done at times not to interfere with precious writing time. Some are just needed for my sanity (like a nap). Great list.

[Guardian]

Some of them are familiar, some of them are new to me.

53: Setting up a music soundtrack for the novel.
54: Drawing the characters and the setting.

[sierramcconnell]

Some of them are familiar, some of them are new to me.

53: Setting up a music soundtrack for the novel.
54: Drawing the characters and the setting.

I agree with 53.

But I also take photostories with the character dolls. So I guess that would be 55.

Of course, my list would be smaller. I don't have MySpace, Flicker, Twitter, Facebook, or any of those things. O_O I'm boring. XD

[Guardian]

Of course, my list would be smaller. I don't have MySpace, Flicker, Twitter, Facebook, or any of those things. O_O I'm boring. XD

In this case I'm also boring. I have only Facebook. :)

But I also take photostories with the character dolls. So I guess that would be 55.

Nice. It's like creating a storyboard. Good idea.

[sbs_mjc1]

I do the 'check and answer email', and 'make snack'. To this list I would like to add 'get glass of whisky' (me) and 'go on a Wikipedia wander' (Michael). Actually, I don't procrastinate that frequently, since I spend most of my time doing work, etc. and am really happy to have some 'me time' to write. Also, whisky is expensive :P