The care and feeding of an introvert

Because that novel isn't going to delay itself
kangaroobee
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by kangaroobee » August 20th, 2010, 2:12 pm

I feel exactly the same as Summer. When I had my first child I was out every day morning and afternoon, and interestly I didn't write then either. I felt like I had no time to myself, but was so bored at home by myself. With my second child and in a different country I decided to live differently and spend more time at home, writing, letting the kids do their own thing and we are all so much happier. I now feel like I am doing the best for everyone in the family. The only person you have to conform to is yourself. Being amongst extroverts all day every day can be very draining for introverts. Introvert/introvert is easier. Great post. Will definitely check out Shrinking Violet Promotions, like I haven't got enough feeds ;)

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Mira
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by Mira » August 20th, 2010, 6:03 pm

Oh wow, this is wonderful. I'm so glad people didn't think this post was too weird to discuss. :)

I'm an INFJ too! I bet lots of us are. In fact, in the first book I read, it called the INFJ, the Author. Not that other types aren't authors, too, obviously.

I did want to add one thing to the original post about why knowing an introvert needs time alone is important. Opposites attract, and introverts and extroverts often become friends, but even more than that, they tend to get romantically involved. That can lead to a bunch of conflict if each person doesn't understand the dynamics. So, this is important for most relationships.

The Extroverts thinks: "What's going on? I get MORE energy when I spend time with my partner. Why don't they want to be with me? Is something wrong with them, or do they just not love me enough?"

The Introverts think: "I do love them, and I don't understand why, but I start to get drained when I'm with anyone for too long. If I don't get time alone, I'm gonig to plotz."

Conflict ensues.

If Extroverts can understand that the introvert needs time alone to re-charge it helps. It also helps if they realize that for an introvert to choose them over all others to get close to is an enormous compliment, since introverts pick their companions very carefully. They have limited energy and tend to reserve it for just a few. And Introverts can realize that Extroverts need contact to feel energized, and it's not that they don't care about your needs, they just don't understand that you are different than they are. And, of course, it really, really helps if the Extroverts has lots of friends they can get energy from when the Introvert needs time alone.

I want to also say something about the test. Thanks for posting the link, Cheekychook, because it's totally fun to take! :) But you can also get the wrong score on the test, especially if you are close to the middle of any scale.

Later on, I can post something that will help people know what type they are, if there's interest. Actually, I'll probably do it anyway, because I love to talk about this stuff. :) Hope I'm not sounding like I know everything, I just studied this for years, so it's fun to share what I know.

Dios4vida - Mira's an abbreviation of my real name, so I don't have a particular way to say it. I pronounce it similar to mirror, because that's prettier to me, but anything is cool. :)

I love talking about this stuff. Thanks. :)

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Heather B
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by Heather B » August 20th, 2010, 7:30 pm

I love learning more about myself so thanks for starting the thread, Mira. I just made my boyfriend take the test and he's an ENFJ. I could have picked that though.

Make sure you post the other link so I can do that one too. :D
Journey to the Cuckoo's Nest

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shadow
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by shadow » August 22nd, 2010, 3:05 pm

I am an extraverted person! Used to be shy when I was VERY young, got over it, love to hang out and hate to be alone. Haha don't ask, when I write I am with my characters :) How can you say writers are ever alone?
All things writing, visit my blog http://arielemerald.blogspot.com/

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beeboo15
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by beeboo15 » August 23rd, 2010, 9:10 am

I've been an INTJ for many years, but when was first tested about 15 years ago, I was an ENTJ. I went through a health crisis that left me with little energy and moderate pain, and I think that's what changed extrovertedness to introvertedness--it was a HUGE shift, not just a bit past the line either way.

I may return to being extroverted if I can get my body back under control, but for now, I much prefer quite time alone at home writing or watching a movie with my husband. Just the thought of socializing wears me out.

AintTellin
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by AintTellin » August 23rd, 2010, 1:49 pm

I came out INTJ, and have had the same result when I took the full test a few years back. Glad to see someone else got a T though, we can't all be feelers.
Aint Tellin

"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrifications is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery." Black Dynamite

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dios4vida
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by dios4vida » August 23rd, 2010, 5:00 pm

beeboo15 wrote:I went through a health crisis that left me with little energy and moderate pain, and I think that's what changed extrovertedness to introvertedness--it was a HUGE shift, not just a bit past the line either way.

I may return to being extroverted if I can get my body back under control, but for now, I much prefer quite time alone at home writing or watching a movie with my husband. Just the thought of socializing wears me out.
I hear you on that one!! I'm in a very similar situation - only my body won't ever be "back under control" - and it's so hard to make people understand that just sitting at a coffee shop talking can honestly make me tired and cause incredible pain. People just don't comprehend how hard it can be to "be normal" and live even a semi-active life when you have chronic conditions.

Good luck with getting back on your feet, beeboo15! :)
Brenda :)

Inspiration isn't about the muse. Inspiration is working until something clicks. ~Brandon Sanderson

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Mira
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by Mira » August 24th, 2010, 11:38 am

Heather B wrote:I love learning more about myself so thanks for starting the thread, Mira. I just made my boyfriend take the test and he's an ENFJ. I could have picked that though.

Make sure you post the other link so I can do that one too. :D
Heather - I haven't forgotten! It's just going to take me awhile. Glad you're interested. :)

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Mira
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by Mira » August 31st, 2010, 11:05 am

Oh goodness. Last week I got so wrapped up in Nathan's blog, I totally forgot I was going to do this. I shall. I shall do it soon!

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sierramcconnell
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Re: The care and feeding of an introvert

Post by sierramcconnell » September 1st, 2010, 6:56 pm

It kinda depends. I swing both ways (no perv intended).

If I feel good and healthy, I like being around people, and don't mind hanging out so long as we're having fun. But sometimes my friends have family drams that cause them to treat me like a puppy and it's kinda draining.

So I think...I get energy from energizing people. If they're draining me, I lose energy.

Sometimes when I'm having a down day, I like to be alone, but it depends on whether or not that's inside the house or out around strangers.

But there's a magnetizing force about earphones. Random people will come up to ask you directions even if there's five other people in that aisle without them. XD

It's very strange. I guess I'm a maltrovert. Malformed. XD
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