Nathan Bransford - The Forums

That bring people to your blogs?

I did a post today (tonight) because some of them are SO weird!! To save people from clicking (unless you want to):

1) chicken and broth and curdle (????)

2) chiz cake (I don’t think I want to know)

3) ninja style writing (I want to be this person’s friend)

4) sometimes I’m the devil (please step AWAY from my blog)

5) supah ninja role cast as amanda (as in ME! Duh.)

6) panties blog booties (DUDE! I’m an elementary school teacher! You will not find any panties on this blog! Gag!)

7) can there be sexual tension if two people hate each other (no.)

What are some of yours?

Lol, Charlotte. Are you serious? Do these really bring people to your blog? Pretty funny.

I don't have a blog, but I already know the first post I'd have if I ever opened a blog. I'd post about how it's fun to write funny animal noises, like 'mooooo' and 'caw caw'. Then I'd encourage my fellow writers to submit their own funny animal noises.

As, you can see, it may be for the best that I don't have a blog. I shudder to think what key words would come out of that. :)

How do you check the keywords that bring people to your blog?

I want to try it!

*For those unaware, you can use Google Analytics to check up on your website hits and how people found their way to you.*

Yes, my keywords crack me up. So ridiculous.

I mean, some are ok Google searches...maybe even great searches that led people to my blog.

Examples:
regan leigh blog
how to handle rejection as a writer
aspiring author blogs
how do i create a book trailer on mac
how to create a character
how to grab a reader in 50 pages
stream of consciousness narrative mode


And then there are odd balls like the following...

Examples:
"switched underwear"
"go commando" bride wedding
true wedding disasters
"cats in the cradle" theology
writing tips throw rocks tree
query rejection rant
"twenty four hour rule"
"wanted to chop it off"
*the name of a fellow writer online and the word nude after their name* (GASP!)
how many gerbers to make a kissing ball
i'm too smart for myself
reagan head twist
regan pictures oh crap was that today
rooibos keep awake -"won't"
прослушать песню beautiful girl - inxs
leigh bath room mirrors

Ok, I SWEAR I don't remember why in the hell I have so many hits about underwear. Did I mention it once in a blog? Some underwear joke? Well, people are probably disappointed to only find my little blog and no panty pics. :P

My fav odd ball search of all time? "i get the urge to make my gums bleed" WHY? Why did someone find my blog from that? Sigh...

Regan Leigh, that was absolutely hilarious. ROFL.

You get the BEST ones, Regan. lmao

I don't know Charlotte. You held your own with "panties blog booties." Yours are pretty funny too.

This whole thing is hilarious. What's even funnier is why someone would type these things into google. Or maybe that's not funny. Maybe that's pretty scary.

Eeep! :)

Yeah, I'm going to go with scary. lol

I probably should've realized something like this would happen before posting about writers + alcohol, but I'm now the 4th Google hit for "seeing pink elephants while intoxicated."

Score. That'll look amazing on my resume.

I really enjoyed seeing surfing love metaphors a few days ago.

Some of the funnier search terms from the last year:
i despise my job
can i go in a hot tub the day before running a half marathon?
do grand gestures of love work?
limmericks bangkok
navel "shot in his belly button"
tamarindo cocaine prices [NB: Tamarindo is a town in Costa Rica]
xray vancouver roadblocks

Mark wrote:I really enjoyed seeing surfing love metaphors a few days ago.

Some of the funnier search terms from the last year:
i despise my job
can i go in a hot tub the day before running a half marathon?
do grand gestures of love work?
limmericks bangkok
navel "shot in his belly button"
tamarindo cocaine prices [NB: Tamarindo is a town in Costa Rica]
xray vancouver roadblocks

Geez, just what kind of party are you having on your blog?

Here are a few of my more random ones:

"if all art is subjective why is there genius"
"monday's feeling"
"role of nature path in curing mental illness"
"science fiction jump suits"
"short inspiring stories about broken families"
"trap character names"
"writing bitchy characters"
"who is the mayor in bleeding violet"

At one point I had some really hilarious one about "being a bitchy writer is cool" or something, but it's fallen off. Odd, since I'm pretty sure my stance is that bitchy writers are most decidedly UNcool.

Mine aren't nearly as funny as most of these, but here are a couple of gems:

matthew rush bottom
mother query father query
questionable love poems
quintessentially one, shipyard
wheel in the sky recording
fatty bolger

This is fun! Another useless use for Google Analytics!