Brain x YOU!
Posted: June 21st, 2010, 12:43 pm
So, I hope this makes you laugh during your procrastination!
And yes, my brain and I share a very abusive relationship... and if you are under 18...well, you probably know worse curse words then the ones I´ve used.
Care to share some brain dialogues of your own, fellow writers?
Cheers!
______________________
Brain: Hey, do you have a minute?
Me: Sure, buddy, what’s up?
B: I’d like to read all the Twilight books, and was wondering if that’s ok with you...
M: I thought we had an agreement on this. We read the first one…
B: Yes, but I want more...and, I want to see all Twilight movies.
M: Woa, wait a sec, buddy, are you feeling ok? You’re not having a stroke or anything, are you?
B: I’m perfectly fine, never felt better.
M: Good, good…but look, there’s no way we’re doing this, now, please, eyes on the manuscript. You know we have to finish this revision a.s.a.p.
B: No.
M: What?
B: You heard me.
M: Get.back.to.the.MS
B: No! You can’t make me. There! *slaps own face* How do you like that?
M: Holly crap!
B: This is a fucking MUTINY, bitch! Now let’s read fuckin´ Twilight!
M: Oh yeah? If you keep up with this crap, Imma fill you up with beer, drugs, smokes, and all kinds of shit!
B: You ain´t having the ba–
M: You goin´ down with me, mother fucker!!
B: Ok, wait, let’s not get hasty…
M: Not talking like a bad ass gangster now, are we?
B: No, look –
M: Did you know heart, lungs, they can all make it, but there’s no such thing as “brain transplant”? You KNOW what I can do! You really playing that game with me, fool?
B: No, no, please, let’s find a way to work this through!
M: Say you’re sorry!
B: I’m sorry, I’m SORRY! I got carried away!
M: Fine…Now, on with the MS…
B: Wait! I really want my demands. I’ve been working tirelessly for you since you were born! I DESERVE the gorgeousness of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.
M: *sighs, hands hiding face* You know they are kids right?
B: Rob Pattinson is just two years younger then you.
M: Still…Why are you doing this to me?
B: Come on, seeing Twilight gives you the right to flame it!
M: …….That’s your logic? Gosh, I mean ...what happened to you?
B: I don’t know! I think I lost myself on the way, somehow...
M: …Is there anything else I should know?
B: …….I ……….I ……..I like Miley Cyrus.
M: What?
B: I think she’s a wonderful performer and sings like an angel. THERE! I’ve said it!
M: Ok, look, we’re not reading Twilight nor listening to Miley Cyrus.
B: You don’t respect me!
M: That’s nonsense!
B: It’s true! You listen to the Gut more then you listen to me!
M: How dare you! I’ve been giving you nothing but brain food all these years!
B: My point exactly! I’m tired! I need time off!
M: Ok, look, we’ll go to a nice vacation, promise. Come on, brain, you can’t be irrational like that.
B: No. I’m making perfect sense! I don’t need a vacation, I need Twilight and Miley. Otherwise, no MS.
M: What?
B: I’m on strike. No MS.
M: ………. Fine…
B: Really?
M: Yeah, no MS....I ain´t taking no blackmail, whore!
***
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’m currently undergoing writer’s block.
****originally posted at my blog http://www.pomadness.blogspot.com ****
And yes, my brain and I share a very abusive relationship... and if you are under 18...well, you probably know worse curse words then the ones I´ve used.
Care to share some brain dialogues of your own, fellow writers?
Cheers!
______________________
Brain: Hey, do you have a minute?
Me: Sure, buddy, what’s up?
B: I’d like to read all the Twilight books, and was wondering if that’s ok with you...
M: I thought we had an agreement on this. We read the first one…
B: Yes, but I want more...and, I want to see all Twilight movies.
M: Woa, wait a sec, buddy, are you feeling ok? You’re not having a stroke or anything, are you?
B: I’m perfectly fine, never felt better.
M: Good, good…but look, there’s no way we’re doing this, now, please, eyes on the manuscript. You know we have to finish this revision a.s.a.p.
B: No.
M: What?
B: You heard me.
M: Get.back.to.the.MS
B: No! You can’t make me. There! *slaps own face* How do you like that?
M: Holly crap!
B: This is a fucking MUTINY, bitch! Now let’s read fuckin´ Twilight!
M: Oh yeah? If you keep up with this crap, Imma fill you up with beer, drugs, smokes, and all kinds of shit!
B: You ain´t having the ba–
M: You goin´ down with me, mother fucker!!
B: Ok, wait, let’s not get hasty…
M: Not talking like a bad ass gangster now, are we?
B: No, look –
M: Did you know heart, lungs, they can all make it, but there’s no such thing as “brain transplant”? You KNOW what I can do! You really playing that game with me, fool?
B: No, no, please, let’s find a way to work this through!
M: Say you’re sorry!
B: I’m sorry, I’m SORRY! I got carried away!
M: Fine…Now, on with the MS…
B: Wait! I really want my demands. I’ve been working tirelessly for you since you were born! I DESERVE the gorgeousness of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.
M: *sighs, hands hiding face* You know they are kids right?
B: Rob Pattinson is just two years younger then you.
M: Still…Why are you doing this to me?
B: Come on, seeing Twilight gives you the right to flame it!
M: …….That’s your logic? Gosh, I mean ...what happened to you?
B: I don’t know! I think I lost myself on the way, somehow...
M: …Is there anything else I should know?
B: …….I ……….I ……..I like Miley Cyrus.
M: What?
B: I think she’s a wonderful performer and sings like an angel. THERE! I’ve said it!
M: Ok, look, we’re not reading Twilight nor listening to Miley Cyrus.
B: You don’t respect me!
M: That’s nonsense!
B: It’s true! You listen to the Gut more then you listen to me!
M: How dare you! I’ve been giving you nothing but brain food all these years!
B: My point exactly! I’m tired! I need time off!
M: Ok, look, we’ll go to a nice vacation, promise. Come on, brain, you can’t be irrational like that.
B: No. I’m making perfect sense! I don’t need a vacation, I need Twilight and Miley. Otherwise, no MS.
M: What?
B: I’m on strike. No MS.
M: ………. Fine…
B: Really?
M: Yeah, no MS....I ain´t taking no blackmail, whore!
***
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’m currently undergoing writer’s block.
****originally posted at my blog http://www.pomadness.blogspot.com ****