Brain x YOU!

Because that novel isn't going to delay itself
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Brain x YOU!

Post by clara_w » June 21st, 2010, 12:43 pm

So, I hope this makes you laugh during your procrastination!

And yes, my brain and I share a very abusive relationship... and if you are under 18...well, you probably know worse curse words then the ones I´ve used.

Care to share some brain dialogues of your own, fellow writers?


Brain: Hey, do you have a minute?

Me: Sure, buddy, what’s up?

B: I’d like to read all the Twilight books, and was wondering if that’s ok with you...

M: I thought we had an agreement on this. We read the first one…

B: Yes, but I want more...and, I want to see all Twilight movies.

M: Woa, wait a sec, buddy, are you feeling ok? You’re not having a stroke or anything, are you?

B: I’m perfectly fine, never felt better.

M: Good, good…but look, there’s no way we’re doing this, now, please, eyes on the manuscript. You know we have to finish this revision a.s.a.p.

B: No.

M: What?

B: You heard me.


B: No! You can’t make me. There! *slaps own face* How do you like that?

M: Holly crap!

B: This is a fucking MUTINY, bitch! Now let’s read fuckin´ Twilight!

M: Oh yeah? If you keep up with this crap, Imma fill you up with beer, drugs, smokes, and all kinds of shit!

B: You ain´t having the ba–

M: You goin´ down with me, mother fucker!!

B: Ok, wait, let’s not get hasty…

M: Not talking like a bad ass gangster now, are we?

B: No, look –

M: Did you know heart, lungs, they can all make it, but there’s no such thing as “brain transplant”? You KNOW what I can do! You really playing that game with me, fool?

B: No, no, please, let’s find a way to work this through!

M: Say you’re sorry!

B: I’m sorry, I’m SORRY! I got carried away!

M: Fine…Now, on with the MS…

B: Wait! I really want my demands. I’ve been working tirelessly for you since you were born! I DESERVE the gorgeousness of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.

M: *sighs, hands hiding face* You know they are kids right?

B: Rob Pattinson is just two years younger then you.

M: Still…Why are you doing this to me?

B: Come on, seeing Twilight gives you the right to flame it!

M: …….That’s your logic? Gosh, I mean ...what happened to you?

B: I don’t know! I think I lost myself on the way, somehow...

M: …Is there anything else I should know?

B: …….I ……….I ……..I like Miley Cyrus.

M: What?

B: I think she’s a wonderful performer and sings like an angel. THERE! I’ve said it!

M: Ok, look, we’re not reading Twilight nor listening to Miley Cyrus.

B: You don’t respect me!

M: That’s nonsense!

B: It’s true! You listen to the Gut more then you listen to me!

M: How dare you! I’ve been giving you nothing but brain food all these years!

B: My point exactly! I’m tired! I need time off!

M: Ok, look, we’ll go to a nice vacation, promise. Come on, brain, you can’t be irrational like that.

B: No. I’m making perfect sense! I don’t need a vacation, I need Twilight and Miley. Otherwise, no MS.

M: What?

B: I’m on strike. No MS.

M: ………. Fine…

B: Really?

M: Yeah, no MS....I ain´t taking no blackmail, whore!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’m currently undergoing writer’s block.

****originally posted at my blog ****

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Re: Brain x YOU!

Post by aspiring_x » June 22nd, 2010, 2:49 pm

very entertaining.

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Re: Brain x YOU!

Post by HillaryJ » June 22nd, 2010, 2:54 pm

First of all, you're clearly not experiencing writers block. You're experiencing mutiny and redirection of the amusing kind.

These things happen. Take it easy. Once your brain falls asleep while watching the first Twilight, I'm sure it will relent on some of its other demands.
CARNIEPUNK - ... 1476714158
as Regan Summers - The Night Runner series from Carina Press

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Re: Brain x YOU!

Post by clara_w » June 22nd, 2010, 3:51 pm

Very much true Hillary!

I guess it´s hard to concentrate when my brain demands so many things...she (or he) is getting lazy!
The other day, it watched one hour of the Kardashians!! I mean, what the hell?

"Are you SERIOUS, brain?"

"Shut up, Kim Kardashian is speaking!"

I swear to God...*sigh*

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Re: Brain x YOU!

Post by wilderness » June 22nd, 2010, 5:08 pm

LOL! I think my brain's on strike too. I think they're in the same union.

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Re: Brain x YOU!

Post by clara_w » June 23rd, 2010, 3:33 am

If so, let´s burn the place! I can´t stand it anymore, the brain begs me every day for Twilight...I dont know how much time I can stand this!

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