Share your opening sentence!

The writing process, writing advice, and updates on your work in progress
miahayson
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by miahayson » February 14th, 2010, 8:53 pm

These are all top rate first lines guys!

Here's the one from my most current WiP

"A death in the family is always difficult to cope with, especially when it’s your own."

EvelynEhrlich
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by EvelynEhrlich » February 14th, 2010, 10:11 pm

Nice! The cadence also reminds me of the first line of Anna Karenina (Garnett's English translation, I believe), so bonus points!

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dementedtinkerbell
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by dementedtinkerbell » February 15th, 2010, 7:09 am

miahayson wrote:These are all top rate first lines guys!

Here's the one from my most current WiP

"A death in the family is always difficult to cope with, especially when it’s your own."
I totally love this sentence, it makes me want to read more immediately :D
Me to my girl: You're grounded until you're dead
Her: You mean 'til you're dead right?
Me: No, I'll enforce it from beyond the grave
Her: *gulp*

LydiaSharp
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by LydiaSharp » February 15th, 2010, 5:03 pm

Lots of good stuff here!

This is from a sci-fi short story in progress:

When they told me that waking up from cryo-sleep was the worst kind of pain, I knew that none of them had ever lost a child.
Lydia Sharp
Science Fiction * Fantasy * Women's Fiction
http://www.lydiasharp.blogspot.com

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ryanznock
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by ryanznock » February 15th, 2010, 5:03 pm

Interesting how many people are dying or being marked for death in these opening lines. But I don't normally judge by just the first line. I usually give a book at least a few paragraphs for a first impression, though to be honest I tend not to even look at a book unless someone else has told me they liked it, either a friend or a reviewer.

I rather liked Louis Scott's opening with the rising sun, because I'm a sucker for liminal moments and travel.

The opening line for my magical realism romance novel is:

"I awake to the opening notes of my leitmotif, coming from my ex-girlfriend’s speakers."

(Unfortunately, 3 of the first 5 people I got to read my novel didn't know what a leitmotif was.)

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Matera_the_Mad
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Matera_the_Mad » February 15th, 2010, 10:49 pm

I know what a leitmotif is. Death isn't mine, though this first sentence shares a few notes. I just rewrote it after challenging myself to do so. Who knows how it will read tomorrow.
Beyond the low rise lay a place of the dead where the Bull band's winter camp should have been.
A drum is empty always, and when the skin is rightly taut it gives right noise, right sound. Attention is like that.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

victoria
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by victoria » February 16th, 2010, 12:58 am

I didn't know what a Leitmotif was (although i do now!)

My opening line:

You can always tell who the bullies are; they’re the ones who sit there with a perverse grin on their face as if gathering ammunition to use later.
http://victoriapantazis.blogspot.com
Sharing my research on how teens read and applying it to the process of writing.

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CharleeVale
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by CharleeVale » February 16th, 2010, 11:43 am

From the novel I'm editing:
I walked along the misty path, the trees of the woods crowding around me.

From my current WIP:
Not many people can claim to have killed one hundred and twenty-four people on the day of their birth, but I can.

CV

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Emily White
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Emily White » February 16th, 2010, 11:53 am

Ooh! Nice! I like the second one especially, Charlee!

Here's mine:

Nathadria, the girl everyone had forgotten, decided to leave Hell.
Find out about ELEMENTAL, my YA Space Opera (available June 21, 2011) on my blog and ELEMENTAL's facebook fan page

JohnstonMR
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by JohnstonMR » February 16th, 2010, 12:10 pm

From the science fiction novel that is now on the back burner, because I've started questioning my setting:

"When you’re traveling at 75% of the speed of light, you have to make decisions quickly."

From the current project's prologue (and this one is working so much better as a WiP):

"He should not have died that way."

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Scott
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Scott » February 16th, 2010, 12:19 pm

Barbara Ducharme coughed herself the color of fabric softener as she dumped another tray of smoking cookies into the garbage bin.

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Remus Shepherd
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Remus Shepherd » February 16th, 2010, 4:19 pm

An alien was sleeping in the gutter where Eli slept.

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hannah_dreamergirl_3
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by hannah_dreamergirl_3 » February 17th, 2010, 7:07 am

She shook the pen hurriedly trying to get the ink to flow once again, but failing miserably.
Check out my new blog at, http://hannahbullimore.wordpress.com

'Good writing is to evoke sensation in the reader, not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon'

ELDoctorow

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Hillsy
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by Hillsy » February 17th, 2010, 7:20 pm

Night settled down on its haunches, squeezing the day out to the horizon beneath its star-pricked belly.

musicgirl
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Re: Share your opening sentence!

Post by musicgirl » February 17th, 2010, 10:12 pm

What's everyone's opinion on starting with a quote, especially if it's a controversial one and central to the novel's premise?

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