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Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 12th, 2010, 8:39 pm
by shadow
Ok guys I thought this would be fun! You never know when you need to improve your hook right? So this is how it works. The person who posts (in this case me) posts their opening sentence and the next person rates your first sentence from 1/10 on the scale of whether you would continiue off that sentence. In the same post you paste your opening and the next person rates and posts. Simple right? Ok here goes mine.

Vitiosus gazed at his father’s cold, light grey eyes, and for once realized that he would never be like the blood-thirsty king.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 12th, 2010, 9:01 pm
by NHWriter
From the manuscript I'm currently soliciting:

William Henderson wears pants and a suit coat.


From the manuscript I'm currently writing:

Nashau had never been in a city as large as Tinadian.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 12th, 2010, 9:42 pm
by Terry Towery
First sentence frm my wip:

The boy plopped his backpack onto the floor just outside the stall closest to the window and deftly slipped the Heckler-Koch G36 mini assault rifle from its hiding place between his American History book and a pair of balled-up sweatpants.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 12th, 2010, 10:14 pm
by Nick
Note that this is the first draft of my WIP, so it may be subject to change.

"Standing on the corner of Haymarket Drive and West Main Street, Staff Inspector Paul Beckett cursed to himself as he lit the last cigarette in his pack."

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 12th, 2010, 10:19 pm
by cassandrabonmot
1973. The year of disco: Afro wigs, platform heels and strobe lights.

This is my opening sentence for my romantic comedy novel called 'Jackpot.'

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 12th, 2010, 11:47 pm
by r louis scott
I left the Roman road while the sun was still low in the east and warming my back.


OK, so far no one has made me put their book back on the shelf and move on. I think it is kind of hard to give a 1 out of 10 rating to a single sentence, but so far shadow's is my favorite.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 12:40 am
by Josin
We're all immortal until we die.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 1:01 am
by maybegenius
Josin wrote:We're all immortal until we die.
No one's been rating these so far, but I'd give this one an 8 or 9. Love it! I'd definitely keep going.

Here's mine:

Sometimes the world is so cold my voice freezes in the air and shatters.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 1:50 am
by marilyn peake
maybegenius - I love your sentence! I give it a 9.

Here's mine, first sentence of my published short story, REPO GIRL AND THE FORTUNE FAERIE: "A brilliant half-moon cut through clouds like a scythe, retreating into blackness."

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 3:13 am
by Lorelei Armstrong
From the new one:

David Lowell told his mum that having a seizure felt like falling asleep, even though he didn’t know what falling asleep felt like; he never remembered.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 9:09 am
by NHWriter
maybegenius wrote:
Josin wrote:We're all immortal until we die.
Sometimes the world is so cold my voice freezes in the air and shatters.
This is my favorite so far as well.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 9:15 am
by dementedtinkerbell
This is mine from my WIP:

I looked at the two lines and swore by all that's unholy that if I ever got hold of him again, I would throttle the bastard.

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 10:34 am
by cassandrabonmot
Maybegenius,

Love it. 9 or 10!! I def keep reading. Good job!

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 10:36 am
by cassandrabonmot
Josin,

Fantastic opening line. (9 or 10)!! More, more!

Re: Share your opening sentence!

Posted: February 13th, 2010, 11:09 am
by BuddyBeagle
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