polymath: You're right, as always. Voice is something I struggle with in the first chapter. There are two MCs and each POV is narrated in a distinct voice since they are polar opposites. To start at a more compelling point, I felt I should use the most abrasive character. But I was worried that if I show the reader too much of who she is too quickly, they might be turned off, not yet knowing the back story of why she's such a difficult person. I'll go back and rewrite the heck out of it all over again.
I'm glad you said that. I added that in at the last minute, because I didn't feel there was enough Anika in the story after I toned her down.I like this line, because it shows a lot of the character's thoughts and emotions:
Teri was afraid of her mouth. As if she didn’t know when to keep it in check.
Watcher55: Thanks for the advice. I critiqued the same thing in other people's writing, but when it's my own, I get so close to it that I need someone to point out what needs addressing.
Neil Larkin: It's a problem of mine, too. My first chapter is rife with unneeded infodumps that I'll be sifting through for a while.
ladymarella: Then it's perfect. I like the character even more.