Running Dialogue

[TheZies]

So, last night I had my writing class. We looked at my first five pages, and there is a part where I have just running dialogue. It's probably a 3/4 of a page. I don't have much (if any) action happening during the part. I do this on a few occasions through the book. The teacher told me to add some action and give the reader something to look at.

It's an important conversation as it is establishing the MC's consequences if he choses not to proceed on the adventure. It flows well, and it reads quick.

I don't really want to add too much action and get away from the focus, which is the conversation.

My thought is do I really need to add the action? I know it's my book and I can do what I want with it. But I also agree that movement is important to have.

what are your thoughts on coming across a section of just dialogue? Curious to see what people think about it.

[Doug Pardee]

My (non-professional) opinion: it depends.

Anything you insert in there will slow the pace. Many times, you want to slow the pace at a few points, to give the characters a chance to think and to give your readers a chance to catch up. I believe it was some former agent named Nathan somebody who pointed out that in dialog, characters seldom say what they're really thinking. (I think the technical term for this is subtext). Unless this is a simple business-like factual exchange, the characters will probably be processing what the others are saying and trying to figure out what they should say. Which, much of the time, is more related to what they last said than to what the other person is saying.

It's not necessary that what gets inserted be action. It could be the PoV character's reactions and thoughts, which can deepen the reader's understanding of the exchange and the character. It could also be environmental cues that remind us where the conversation is taking place.

[Mike R]

If you must have only dialog, make it heated, or ominous or...something. If it's just imparting information to the reader, it's going to be slow. Spice it up. Make it a charged atmosphere; tension, sexual or otherwise. Get some emotions going.

On of the hardest things for me to hear in crit group is, "This is kind of slow." But they are usually right, so I amp it up. The teacher must think it needs something, so give it something. Maybe something they don't expect.

Good luck, Mike

[polymath]

The purpose of action in dialogue scenes is to give readers visual sensations of characters for closing narrative distance between readers and the locale of the narrative setting, time, place, situation, and the personas and events of a narrative. Dialogue without action is disembodied mouthpieces speaking from an empty void, or as it's known in the Turkey City Lexicon, Brenda Star dialogue--talking statue busts with speech and thought balloons emanating from their heads. Narrative distance opens when there's little or no visual sensations. Opening narrative distance is not a desirable effect.

[TheZies]

Well put polymath. I will concede and add some action ;)

[Fenris]

I may be a little late to the party here, but I do have to disagree with Polymath in one way (sorry Poly):

If the scene is already slow and contemplative (for example, the characters are relaxing on a lakeshore), running dialogue isn't necessarily a bad thing. If nothing's happening outside of the dialogue, why bother showing that inactivity? In scenes like that, the only conflict and tension is contained within the dialogue. This obviously makes it more important to get the dialogue exactly right, but it doesn't necessitate things like dialogue tags (unless there's more than two characters in the conversation) or outside details.

That said, a scene with lots of action would definitely be interrupted by a random burst of running dialogue. Readers won't thank you for interrupting the epic battle for a relaxed chat with Character B. I think Doug was right above when he said it really depends on the circumstances.

[Guardian]

It depends from the surrounding scenes, but as I read from your context, it's part what you should keep.

I don't have much (if any) action happening during the part.

And? A story shouldn't be about just action. Now, when you're telling a story, you, the writer always add elements that are necessary for the storyline. Whoever is unable to understand that and desires continuous action instead and want to tell the writer how to drive the story, even for few pages... well, in that case your work is not for him. Sometimes a work must be more complex and it shouldn't be a straight nail. Many are asking why every second or third novel is similar. This is one of the reasons, because the continuous action (Any kind) is pushing the storyline and the world development into the background.

It's an important conversation

The primary reason to keep it. Whoever can't understand it's an important element and desire action, action, action (Any kind) or can't read few pages of different, complex and/ or serious elements... that's not your fault. So keep it. If you feel you should shorten it, shorten it. But don't force any action into the storyline, because some says it's a "must". No. It's not a "must" at all.

The purpose of action in dialogue scenes is to give readers visual sensations

You can give that visual sensation without any action. You must simply balance the slow part with short, but colorful descriptions. That is capable to draw the attention when and where it's necessary and you don't have to add action at all. It's simple world building.

[polymath]

No discord that I see, Fenris, and none taken.

Conversation is both action and sensation, aural at least, perhaps emotion too. A mnenonic for writing modes, DIANE'S SECRET. Description, Introspection, Action, Narration, Emotion, Sensation, Summarization, Exposition, Conversation, Recollection, Explanation, and Transition.

Straight dialogue doesn't generally report visual sensation, nor does it allow for an attitude holder to express commentary through introspection, thoughts, about the dialogue. An attitude holder can be the narrator, the protagonist, the main character, and/or a central viewpoint character. The attitude holder is typically the reader surrogate who readers closely engage with in the participation mystique of a narrative; in other words, the persona who readers have the closest narrative distance to and therefore, ideally, self-identify with.

At a minimum, a scene ought best ideally at least include conversation, action, sensation, and introspection so readers engage closely with an attitude holder. Those four writing modes are the workhorses for closing narrative distance. Otherwise, narrative distance opens, if it closed in the first place, and readers withdraw from the participation mystique. And the blend of writing modes should be judicious, timely, and artful for the same purposes.

Action concurrent with a conversation doesn't have to be intense swashbuckling or dramatic touching, punching, or grappling, etc. It's best when dramatic, yes, meaning causal, tense, and antagonistic, like playing badminton with live hand grenades. Dramatic conflict. The action should give a three-dimensional sense to the scene through movement no matter how minor the movement is.

Consider a couple sitting at a bus stop. Kind of two-dimensional, eh? First, the predicate there describes a static action. It's a tell, pure and simple, too. Also, that's a summarization of an ongoing action. Little expository detail, though a setup detail introducing two people at a bus stop, backstory exposition. Some description, no introspection, some action, narration, sure, no emotion, a little sensation, simple summarization, exposition, uh-huh, no conversation, though it's patently pending, at least nonverbally, recollection isn't indicated, explanation a tiny amount, and perhaps a transition pending.

Far better for closing narrative distance to report their emotional state of mind through their more dynamic actions, like fidgeting out of impatience and/or fear of each other, and one or the other's introspective attitude through his or her thoughs expressing commentary about the setting, the other persona, impending events, and so on, or SPICED, setting, plot, idea, character, event, and discourse. Good dialogue scenes, all scenes develop SPICED features through artful, judicious, timely application of DIANE'S SECRET.

[wordranger]

Hey, guys, I think you may have dug a little deeper into this than you needed to. Did you ever think that maybe all the dialog needed was a little pause here and there? Could a character stand up? Yawn? Run their fingers through their hair? Now, I cannot say exactly what it needs without seeing the dialog, but if it is just straight dialog with absolutely NOTHING, then maybe they are right, but a little bit of action, which may be as simple as a smile, or looking away, or leaning back... anything to give a mood and some movement to the scene is also considered action. It does not have to be anything HUGE.

And don’t pick on Polymath. You’re going to give him writers cramp :-)

Good luck, Zies.

(By the way, If you'd like to send it to me, I'll look it over. I'm a dialog junkie)

[Guardian]

I believe you're right Jen. Personally I don't pick on Polymath. I never do. I always like his opinion (Even if we don't agree with each other sometimes.) as his skills are much better then mine. Everyone can learn from him.

[TheZies]

Hey, guys, I think you may have dug a little deeper into this than you needed to. Did you ever think that maybe all the dialog needed was a little pause here and there? Could a character stand up? Yawn? Run their fingers through their hair? Now, I cannot say exactly what it needs without seeing the dialog, but if it is just straight dialog with absolutely NOTHING, then maybe they are right, but a little bit of action, which may be as simple as a smile, or looking away, or leaning back... anything to give a mood and some movement to the scene is also considered action. It does not have to be anything HUGE.

And don’t pick on Polymath. You’re going to give him writers cramp :-)

Good luck, Zies.

(By the way, If you'd like to send it to me, I'll look it over. I'm a dialog junkie)

Hey Jen! Thanks, I may just do then when I get home from work and have an opportunity to do so.

What you have suggested is in essence what I have gone back and added. My concern is making seem forced now. My roommate was looking at me funny as I was trying to act out the scene and seeing how the natural motions would be. :)

[polymath]

Now, don't go a gettin' your nettles all in muddle worrying 'bout picking on poor moi. Just mind your manners and we'll all be fine. Writing cramp? Not gonna happen. I read and write for a living. My hands are strong. They are vise clamps.

Audiovisual media does most of the heavy lifting sensation-wise. Conversation is an audiovisual sensation, aural and visual at least. Written word conversation without a full sensory experience is sensory depravation. That's why conversation needs a gamut of sensory inputs and thoughts reacting to sensory inputs, so readers aren't sensorily deprived, so they engage intimately in a participation mystique's proxy reality instead of the alpha reality of everyday existence.

Reading is like immersing in a sensory depravation tank: Once you're in, you need sensations because you've blocked out the real world. If there aren't any sensations, your imagination provides them to some extent, which can bridge gaps, but not span chasms of absentee context.

[wordranger]

Written word conversation without a full sensory experience is sensory depravation. That's why conversation needs a gamut of sensory inputs and thoughts reacting to sensory inputs, so readers aren't sensorily deprived, so they engage intimately in a participation mystique's proxy reality instead of the alpha reality of everyday existence.

Um, yeah... Isn't that what I said?

Translation, WordRanger style:

Lean back, run their fingers through their hair, make them smile. Heck, get all crazy-like and maye even have them slam their fist on the table!

Have fun with it.

Love ya, Polymath!

[hektorkarl]

If they're good readers and they sense that something is off with the scene, then the scene probably needs revising.

That said, their suggested solution may not be the best for your manuscript, especially if you feel it violates the style of the work.

There is probably a third way that is better than both the original scene and the group's vision for your scene. Give the scene another pass, and you might just find it.

[polymath]

Um, yeah... Isn't that what I said?

Translation, WordRanger style:

Lean back, run their fingers through their hair, make them smile. Heck, get all crazy-like and maye even have them slam their fist on the table!

Have fun with it.

Love ya, Polymath!

Don't forget thoughts expressing commentary on dialogue and actions and sensations of dialogue scenes. Thinking is an action and a sensation too, with emotional attitude, the sixth sense of feeling emotion. Thoughts create close, if not the closest, narrative distance, especially free indirect thoughts.