NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Offer up your page (or query) for Nathan's critique on the blog.
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aldernans
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by aldernans » July 21st, 2022, 9:37 pm

Dear agent,

Dixie Griggs is too poor and too human. She is consumed by guilt after she taunts a girlfriend. She wanted to toughen her up, but instead she caused her to give it up - the girl killed herself. Dixie’s determined to find any distraction from her misery, so she signs up to be on a popular TV show called, “Who Wants to be a Hero?” The winner receives ten-million dollars.

She boards a ferry with nine other contestants to a remote island to stay in a plantation home remodeled after Chelsea in Charleston, South Carolina. In order to win, she needs to stay the weekend and solve this ridiculous quest based on Homer’s Odyssey. But soon the weekend takes a dark turn. One of the contestants is poisoned and Dixie realizes there is a killer among them.

The next day she decides to go with the “trustworthy” group, a well-meaning idiot, JAEGER, and a married couple: Jealous JO and her unfaithful wife, ELLEN to find a boat to sail off the island. This turns into a bloody bad decision when two more of them are killed and Dixie is left all alone. Putting the pieces together, Dixie realizes the contestants are dying in the horrible way found in the mythology poem she discovered in her bedroom the night before.

The poem starts with the line: Take one down with a poisoned berry and ends with dying at the hands of a flesh eating beast. At first Dixie thinks this is some mad man’s game to toy with her before killing her, until she encounters Circe, a goddess and the king of hell, Hades and she realizes the island is controlled by the same gods and goddesses found in Homer’s Odyssey.

In order to escape, Dixie will choose the aid of a goddess, the love of a killer and nasty bargain with Hades.

Please consider my adult supernatural thriller novel CAST TO DIE complete at 85,000 words. It is a re-telling supernatural-twist on both Homer’s Odyssey and Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None. Cast to Die is told from the perspectives of the greedy victims and the absolution they seek for their crimes.

CAST TO DIE can be compared to WE ARE ALL THE SAME IN THE DARK by Julia Heaberlin and I AM WATCHING YOU by Teresa Driscoll.

The manuscript is available upon request.

Best wishes,

emishne
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by emishne » August 6th, 2022, 10:44 am

Dear [agent],

[personalization paragraph]

Twelve-year-old Gal has never believed in incantations, Dybbuks, or any amulet her father, a famous exorcist, keeps in his office. That is until she takes a trip with her school to the Western Wall. This is finally her chance to wish her perfect and nasty twin sister, Sheera, gone. But when Gal slips the vengeful note between the Wall's cracks, it transforms into a golden scroll, offering to evaporate her sister if Gal enters the Western Wall tunnels.

Obeying the scroll, Gal unwittingly frees the demon of destruction, Asmodeus, who summons his army to turn Jerusalem into a demon hive. Now the monsters are everywhere, destroying the Holy Temple and leaving peaceful citizens with no choice but to wear heaps of amulets around their necks to keep the evil spirits at bay. The only way to stop them and their leader is to journey through She’ol, the subterranean underworld. Gal finds her sister, who was sucked down there by the scroll, and both girls are sure they know the best way to defeat Asmodeus.

If the sisters can work together then they can protect Jerusalem and both get home safe. But it turns out Gal’s talent for killing boss monsters in video games can’t help her while trying to outsmart Lillith, and Sheera’s A grades are useless when faced with a mighty Golem. Here, only kindness can protect them. The more Gal sees how nice her sister is, the more compassionate she grows. But if she can't forgive Sheera fast enough, they'll be stuck in She’ol forever.

Steeped in ancient Jewish mythology, THE DEMON FROM JERUSALEM is complete at 45,000 words. My book can be described as PERCY JACKSON meets Jewish demons and it will appeal to fans of Roshani Chokshi's ARU SHAH series.

LagunaMitch
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Re: Query critique 9/8/22

Post by LagunaMitch » September 9th, 2022, 7:38 pm

Dear agent,

Given your interest in photography and clients Art Wolfe and Frans Lanting, I am excited to share LAGUNA: THROUGH THE LENS OF MITCH RIDDER. My urbanscapes will complement your client's landscapes and expand your photography lineup. Think Norman Rockwell's slices-of-life meets Anthony Bourdain's sense-of-place storytelling. Academy Award-winner and former resident Diane Keaton has written my foreword.

Referred to as the Riviera of California, Laguna Beach's unique topography, art colony pedigree, and marine protected ocean create one of the most spectacular seven miles of coastline in the world.

Emerald waters, tide pools, and rocky bluffs rim the Pacific. The latitude here brings a Mediterranean climate and magical light. Seismically uplifted hills seclude the town and provide multi-million dollar views, as 6.3 million annual visitors fall under its quirky charm. But the soul of Laguna's DNA is its creative residents.

These images transport viewers through light, color, and composition. Landscapes, cityscapes, street photography, and environmental portraits blend with an artistic flair. They capture Laguna's coves and SoCal beach culture, garden parks, public artwork, eclectic local hangouts, and yearly events.

President Obama added Laguna's offshore rocks to the California Coastal National Monument, assisted by my photos. I have been published in Digital Photo Magazine and was a Finalist in Epson's 2021 International Pano Awards. I am a newspaper photojournalist, an event photographer, and an exhibitor at the Festival of Arts, California's premier juried fine art show. My life as a 60-year Laguna resident, former illustrator, graphic designer, and now photographer shapes how I see.

With an established platform of 215K emails and 333K followers, I have a combined network of community businesses, organizations, and influencers.

My photography is complete, and a proposal and a dummy PDF preview are available. I appreciate your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Mitch Ridder

shaelynzeitz
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by shaelynzeitz » September 16th, 2022, 12:19 pm

Dear Agent,

Frankie June, a 12-year-old rock-and-roll enthusiast, loves adventures in the Cantamar forest. She and her best friends Nora and Ben spend every free second collecting treasures in the bramble and etching words in their tree trunk clubhouse. But when Frankie finds out Nora is moving far away, she fears how she and Ben will survive without their rock-of-a-friend who defends them from the school bully, Sammy.

But Sammy is not all Frankie needs to survive after Nora is gone. Frankie’s pack-rat Dad brings home a mysterious thrift store painting of a woman. She resembles the witch who lived in the town hundreds of years before, and she was rumored to disappear children. Frankie soon notices shifts and changes in the painting each time she looks at it. She begins to have nightmares and mysterious etched words begin appearing in the clubhouse. Just when Frankie can’t bear the creepiness any longer, Sammy disappears from Cantamar and appears in the painting in Frankie's house.

Determined to save her bully from death (because she knows that pain all too well after the strange disappearance of her own mother years before), Frankie vows to uncover the mystery of the painting and bring Sammy home. As she and Ben uncover more about the painting, spooky things begin to happen, threatening everything. The rescue. Family. Ben’s life.

THERE'S A WITCH ON MY WALL is a 20,000-word middle grade horror novel, written in verse, for readers who enjoy poetry and the spookier things in life. This book will pique the interest of readers who love the atmospheric horror of Katherine Arden’s SMALL SPACES and the fast-paced verse of Dusti Bowling’s THE CANYON’S EDGE.

I was a mentee in the 2019 SCBWI Nevada Mentorship Program, where I worked on a middle grade prose novel. When I’m not writing, I work as an instructional designer in the corporate sector, chase around my two young children and puppy, and soak up as many writing podcasts as I can.

Thank you for your consideration.

LagunaMitch
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by LagunaMitch » December 17th, 2022, 12:34 am

Dear Peter,

Because you represent photographers Galen Rowell and Richard Nagler, I am excited to share LAGUNA BEACH - CALIFORNIA'S RIVIERA, my photography of this unique art colony by the sea. My sense-of-place photojournalism is similar to Anouk Masson Krantz's American Cowboys, and my cityscapes will appeal to fans of Serge Ramelli's Paris.

Laguna's not just another beach town. This place eats, sleeps, and breathes the arts. Its latitude brings a Mediterranean climate and light, as emerald waters, tide pools, and rocky bluffs rim 30 of the country's most beautiful beaches. Quake-lifted hills provide panoramic views while secluding the village from the rest of Orange County. Yet, 6.3 million admirers a year from California, across the country, and the world discover and fall under its quirky charm.

I drop viewers into Laguna's SoCal beach culture, eclectic hangouts, annual events, and garden parks while revealing its public art and conscience for conservation. I blend landscapes, urbanscapes, and environmental portraits with a graphic designer's aesthetic for composition and a painter's sense of light. These shots catch your eye with mood, atmosphere, and cinematic flair.

My images assisted President Obama in adding Laguna's offshore rocks to the California Coastal National Monument. I was recognized as a Finalist in the 2021 Epson International Pano Awards and previously published in Digital Photo Magazine. I am a newspaper photojournalist, event and fine art photographer, and a Professional Photographers of America member.

Academy Award-winner and former resident Diane Keaton has written my foreword. The proposal is complete and includes a detailed platform (email: 239K, social media: 545K), endorsements, and a promotional plan. Thank you for your time, and I appreciate your consideration.

Sincerely,
Mitch Ridder

lovu_sarah
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by lovu_sarah » December 22nd, 2022, 10:29 pm

Dear [agent name],

We all have things we regret in our life. Things that haunt our sleep and deprive us of peace. And all those actions we take that lead to those regrets are influenced by our surroundings, are they not? Or does the blame fall solely on us?

A BLAMELESS MURDER is a 65,000 words literary fiction novel that explores the life of a nameless girl in a nameless world in hopes of understanding why she became a killer at nineteen. It dives into her reasoning as to why she did what she did while the girl tries to guide the reader through every event in her life.

It is a conversation and it starts as if she’s talking to the reader; explaining how her whole life leads her to become that person at that specific point in time, much like The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe.

When I saw that one of your favorite authors was Carlos Ruiz Zafron I knew I had to query you. I grew up reading his work back when I was a little girl in the Dominican Republic.

I have included the first ten pages of my manuscript per your request. Please note that even though the book starts with quotation marks that are never closed in this short excerpt, it is not a typo.

Thank you so much for your time.
Sincerely,
[Signature]

abbymei
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by abbymei » April 3rd, 2023, 11:21 am

Dear [agent]

[I'm reaching out because you represent ABC, and I saw you were seeking manuscripts with XYZ]. THE SPANISH LOVE DECEPTION meets LOVEBOAT, TAIPEI in A LESSON IN TEA AND TYPHOONS, an 80k word YA contemporary romance with series potential.

Hannah Lin was born to be a doctor—at least, that's what her traditional Taiwanese parents told her. After a messy breakup three years ago fractured her already strained relationship with her family, she's determined to prove to her parents she's capable of success. Even if that means going to medical school instead of studying photography. As a senior at National Taiwan University, she only has two things on her mind: getting into medical school and finding a date for her family's annual Lunar New Year celebration.

Enter Michael—a French exchange student with an annoyingly attractive accent—who offers to be Hannah's fake boyfriend. But Hannah's well versed in romantic comedies. She knows this never ends well, especially when one of the players has dimples that could make anyone swoon. But her romantic prospects are otherwise nonexistent.

When Hannah arrives with Michael at her family's annual Lunar New Year celebration, her ex is the last person she expects to see. Hannah is even more desperate to convince her family she has her life together. But as her feelings for Michael deepen, and memories of the past resurface, the line between fake and real blurs.

Can she keep her feelings in check, or will her crumbling plan prove her parents right?

Like Hannah, I am Asian-American, have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and have previously lived in Taiwan. I am a member of the North Carolina Writers' Network.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

[my name]

Echo
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by Echo » May 18th, 2023, 10:47 pm

Dear Nathan Bransford:

What would you sacrifice to bring back your loved ones, those who passed on without you? Because you are seeking psychological horror with feminist retellings of Greek myths, I hope you will be interested in my novel, THE HOUR OF THE SNAKE, which follows the journey of Valentina Sahira, a grieving young woman who failed to save her sisters in life and now surrenders her sanity and soul when she tries to save them in death.

Valentina is sleeping between her sister's tombstones at Brooklyn’s Holy Cross Cemetary, slumping into a six-foot hole, buried in the past with no present, not since her sisters' tragically died. Blue. Bruised. She blames herself for their ill-starred ends. Still, nobody can change fate- especially Valentina, who finally wakes from her long and sorrowful slumber. Hearing whispers from the bushes, from behind the cemetery gates, and from the other side. Valentina swears it is the screams of her dead sisters in the dead of night, begging for help. Standing up, shaky and weak, Valentina still finds the strength to make an oath under the Blood Moon:

“Lydia and Angie, I will find you and save you from wherever you are. I will even sell my soul to the Devil if I have to.”

Valentina sticks to her promise, too, for once, attempting to resurrect her dead sisters as well as her past mistakes, using everything from dark witchcraft to making offerings to forgotten gods. However, nothing is for free and Valentina has to pay to play as a door opens in her mind, a specific door that should have remained closed. Haunted by her own demons, Valentina is forced to gaze at the reflection of the monster she has become. Valentina has made a terrible mistake, one that not even magic can bind back together as the lines of reality, of the living and the dead, blur. Or perhaps, Valentina suffers from the same mental illness that killed her sisters. With one foot on Earth and the other in Hell, Valentina may not find her way home.

THE HOUR OF THE SNAKE is 89,000 words and would find a principal audience among fans of literary fiction in the vein of Ottessa Moshfegh’s My Year of Rest and Relaxation, genre-bending novels reminiscent of V.E. Schwab’s The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue as well as horror such as Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s Mexican Gothic.

I am a first-generation Arab American who lost two siblings, too early, to suicide. With a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a minor in creative writing, and a Teaching Credential in English, I taught English Literature at Huntington Beach Highschool and currently work as a freelance editor. Attached are the first 50 pages and a synopsis of THE HOUR OF THE SNAKE. I appreciate your consideration.

Warmest Regards,

PWAndersen
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by PWAndersen » July 21st, 2023, 9:24 pm

She uses her body, beauty, and brains to make millions for her clients, but she struggles to find love for herself.

The Ambassadors tells about Gretchen Vandella, the leading “brand ambassador” at a boutique marketing agency in San Francisco. She and her colleagues use their bodies, beauty, and brains to make millions of dollars for their clients. Yes, they have training as models, but they bring much more to the table than just their good looks. Many have graduate degrees, and they inject themselves into corporate board and shareholder meetings to influence decision-makers. Gretchen stands out as one of the best at her job, but her cynicism may rob her of the chance to ever find love. She also wonders if she will ever get a chance to use her talents and assets to achieve any good in the world.

Billionaire Mark Fischer, a former client, asks Gretchen to become the public face of an organization that will hire homeless people to clean up the city’s streets, paying them a living wage with benefits and helping them get into permanent housing. Gretchen must navigate politics, labor unions, wealthy donors, and organized crime to get her army of homeless workers out to take on the task. But her efforts begin to restore pride not only to the workers but also to the city itself. Meanwhile, though, a budding relationship with Mark, the project’s sponsor, could make or break the organization. Gretchen must overcome traumatic memories before she can open herself to trust a man, and Mark’s background leaves room for suspicion.

The marketing/brand ambassadors aspect of the plot brings to mind The Devil Wears Prada, by Lauren Weisberger; The Art of Fielding, by Chad Harbach; The Intern's Handbook, by Shane Kuhn; and The Influencer, by Brittany Hennessy, but I do not anticipate seeing The Ambassadors on a bookshelf anywhere near the nonfiction business section. My novel is a relatively quick read at 68,000 words.

I have published two religious historical novels, Second Born and Acts of the Women, as well as a number of short stories. I served as managing editor of Asian Week where I won an award for excellence in journalism from the San Francisco Human Rights Commission.

I publish several e-newsletters with combined mailing lists of more than 3,000 readers and have more than 2,000 followers on various social media applications. My website is at https://www.PWAndersen.com , and I post occasional blogs at https://pwandersen.wordpress.com.

As requested in your guidelines, I will attach the first three chapters and a synopsis below.

Gigiza
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by Gigiza » July 22nd, 2023, 6:01 am

Thank you, Nathan, for offering this service.

Dear Ms Barer,

After reading (and loving) LITTLE FIRES EVERYWHERE, I was thrilled to learn that you're interested in representing a diversity of voices from around the world. May I thus invite you into the world of THE SCATTERLINGS, an adult historical novel based on the barely-known racial Rhodesia Bush War (1966-79) that led to the independence of Zimbabwe in southern Africa? Complete at 99.500 words, THE SCATTERLINGS is recounted in alternating first person POVS of a black female guerrilla/nurse and a White soldier of the Rhodesian Security Forces who meet and marry in London without knowing of the other's wartime background and how they were personally involved.

Providing for her large family is more crucial to 21-year-old MAUDE KHUMALO than a call to arms in Rhodesia’s racial conflict. But when in 1978, she witnesses her 18-year-old sister NOMPILO, succumb to shrapnel injuries after a grenade attack on a Bulawayo disco, Maude joins guerrilla forces fighting the White minority apartheid regime.

In a Zambian camp of hostile comrades, Maude balances military training with her nursing skills, finding solace in the arms of the Camp Commander. After four years of warfare and the death of her lover from an air raid, she returns with their infant to an independent Rhodesia renamed Zimbabwe. Disillusioned with the new partisan politics and covert genocide on her tribe, she migrates with her daughter to England.

In London in 2000, 43-year-old Maude marries 42-year-old BRADFORD PETERSON who tried but could not avoid the mandatory draft for White boys post-high school in 1975 Rhodesia-finally escaping the army in 1979. With their baby on the way, Bradford unintentionally reveals a stinging memory that demands a reckoning with the past. Suspecting him responsible for her sister’s death, Maude investigates-only to be confronted with atrocities that she, in turn, wreaked on his family during the war.

Now they must decide what their future will be. Together or not? Is forgiveness possible?

THE SCATTERLINGS is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Mark Sullivan’s BENEATH A SCARLET SKY, NoViolet Bulawayo’s GLORY and will also appeal to fans of Mandy Robotham’s THE RESISTANCE GIRL and Abdulrazak Gernah's AFTER LIVES.

At the height of the Rhodesia Bush War (1974-79), I was a trainee nurse and privy to the atrocities of the security forces and guerrillas on civilians. I spent the next three decades as a registered nurse in emergency and surgical units in Vienna, Austria, while taking Literature and Literature Crtique as well as creative writing courses with Cambridge's NEC correspondent college and New York's Gotham writers, online and in person. I'm currently researching a thriller based on Zimbabwe's blood diamonds.

As per your guidelines, I have pasted the synopsis and first ten pages of THE SCATTERLINGS.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my work.

Outscribe
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by Outscribe » July 22nd, 2023, 11:58 am

Dear Agent,

I’m excited that you represent adventure travel. I hope my memoir RAIN AND FIRE IN THE SKY: BEYOND DOUBT ON THE COLORADO TRAIL, complete at 91,000-words, might fit your list. The book combines the heartwarming personal storytelling of Barney Mann’s Journeys North, with the psychological drama and limit-pushing adventure of Heather Anderson’s Mud, Rocks, Blazes.

At Philmont Scout Ranch as a boy, I’m hypothermic, fall in love with the Rocky Mountains anyway, and dream of completing a major long-distance hiking trail to prove I’m at home in the wilderness. As an adult I sacrifice that dream to raising a family and managing software development at a high-pressure startup. In my early forties a nervous breakdown derails my career. With the support of family and meditation, I recover. Working again, I finally reach financial independence and retire out west. At last, I can pursue my hiking dream. I choose the 500-mile Colorado Trail because of its proximity, beauty, and rugged challenge.

But an old ankle injury flares up and delays my preparations. Then I injure a hamstring. That trauma grows into disabling neurological pain in my back and legs. Anxiety returns and panic attacks threaten. I lose another year. An intuitive physical therapist shows me how to overcome chronic pain. A compassionate doctor urges me to start walking with forearm crutches. After a year of training, I’m at last ready for the Colorado Trail on crutches.

My endurance is tested when I walk nineteen miles in one long day and night to reach a safe camp. My courage is tested when I’m separated from my partner in high winds above 12,000 feet and must spend the night alone in freezing conditions, a rite of passage I will remember all my life. When I’m nearly pulled off a log into a furious mountain creek, I am reminded that a miscalculation in the backcountry could mean serious injury or death. But abandoning the trail would mean losing my dream forever.

I'm a retired engineer and seasoned outdoor adventurer with five decades of hiking, biking, and technical rock-climbing experience including two ascents of the sheer 3,000-foot face of El Capitan in Yosemite Valley. The blog I founded in 2011 won the 2019 Plutus award for Best Retirement Blog and has more than 18,000 subscribers. I’ve self-published two personal finance books, which together have sold more than 16,000 copies. I have also built a new platform, TrailMemoir.com, to support this memoir.

I would love to send all or part for your review.

Regards,

Jswriting
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by Jswriting » July 22nd, 2023, 4:50 pm

Thanks for the feedback. Please critique this query letter.

July 14, 2023

Targeted Literary Agent Name
Agent's Address

Janene Roberts Massieh
Author's Address
Author's Phone Number
Author's Email address

Dear Agent,

I saw your profile on LinkedIn and see that you reside in the same area as I do. It looks like you have been with Targeted Literary Agency a long time.

I’m querying you because I think we would be a good fit for my novel, Worth More Than Sparrows. When Claire Stravinsky starts losing her memories, she must track down her childhood friend John Sloane. But he keeps disappearing and she finds out he’s losing his mind too and the authorities are after him.

As a young orphan, Claire met John after being adopted by supportive parents. Claire and John finally reconnect to seek answers and to confront the place where it all started.

Worth More Than Sparrows takes readers on a rollercoaster ride of mysteries to solve in 76,000 words. Set in the not-too-distant future, it will appeal to a mass audience of readers looking for higher truths. The book has some Christian themes, the title references Matthew 10:29-31, set in an altered universe where people are able to store positive memories.

I started my creative writing journey in the 1990’s while attending spontaneous writing prompt groups led by Judy Reeves, author of A Writer’s Book of Days. I was a weekly regular and since 2003 found that the prompts kept bringing up Claire and John’s story. So I compiled the pieces I had written and started laying down the novel. Over the years my beliefs grew so I could write authentically about characters seeking answers. However, the mystery is primarily the theme so it should be palatable to all audiences.

I have taught writing classes and wrote a children’s book called Anna Maria, The Fruit of the Spirit. I have also led prompt writing groups for the San Diego Writer’s Ink and have run my own. I am currently a part of a read and critique group and have written many blog posts for my websites Cinderella Factory and Popcorn Press and Media.

This will be my debut novel and I’m excited about it. Since I enjoy reading it, I think others will too. I am looking forward to connecting with you soon.

Sincerely,

Janene Roberts Massieh

MedrekWrites
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by MedrekWrites » July 23rd, 2023, 11:43 am

Dear Agent,

Because you love genre-bending tales and contemporary works with big hooks, I think you’ll enjoy my YA Action/Adventure novel INTO THE FIRE, complete at 93k words. Set in the modern world without the element of fantasy, it features a strong female protagonist hellbent on uncovering the truth behind her mom’s death as in Tracy Deonn’s Legendborn. Fans of the blend of action and romance in Sabaa Tahir’s An Ember in the Ashes will enjoy the similar vibe in this story, which is a dual POV standalone with series potential.

Eighteen-year-old Melanie Snow has finally received police reports from the night her parents died. Their employer, a government-contracted weapons manufacturer called Levett Technologies, swears the deaths were a tragic workplace accident, but Mel finds details in the reports that don’t make sense. The authorities refuse to entertain her suspicion, and her Aunt thinks she just needs someone to blame.

Determined to untangle what happened, Mel assumes a false identity and takes a job at Levett Tech. Her covert mission is derailed when mysterious and oh-so-attractive stranger Tommy shows up at her door after her first day of work with an ominous warning: They know who you are. Run.

Mel refuses, and Tommy admits he belongs to an underground Resistance dedicated to protecting others from the malignant criminal organization that lurks behind Levett’s patriotic image. Instead of taking Tommy’s advice, Mel sacrifices her freedom to search for the truth from within the Resistance. But to get information, she must earn the group’s trust, which isn’t easy with a key member fixated on proving she’s a spy.

When Mel’s amateur snooping lands her on trial with the Resistance, she uncovers Levett’s imminent plan to overthrow the government and plunge the nation into chaos by releasing a deadly pathogen into several major cities. The Resistance will not launch a suicide mission to prevent the attack. Mel must forfeit her life to stop Levett Tech and avenge her parents on her own or stay safe while innocent blood is spilled.

I grew up exploring the beautiful forests of New Hampshire, where I live, work, and play with my husband, two boys, and the world’s sweetest pup. When I’m not wrangling the kids or enjoying the outdoors, I’m hard at work on my next manuscript. My previous agent and I parted ways amicably. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have regarding my prior representation.

Thank you for your time and effort,
NAME

LagunaMitch
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by LagunaMitch » July 28th, 2023, 9:06 pm

Dear Kate,


Because you are looking for Art books that inspire you, I am sharing LAGUNA BEACH: THE ART & SOUL OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. My photography of this unique art colony combines the beaches from Gray Malin's Italy with the cityscapes found in Liam Wong's debut TO:KY:OO. Academy Award-winner and former resident Diane Keaton has written the foreword.


Laguna Beach eats, sleeps, and breathes the arts. My book is the first to capture today's Laguna in full color. Previous Laguna photobooks have documented its historical past in vintage black and white. My images immerse viewers into all things Laguna, from its SoCal beach culture, eclectic hangouts, annual events and public art to its love for conservation. Think Norman Rockwell's slices of life meets Anthony Bourdain's sense of place storytelling.


My camera reveals Laguna's emerald waters, rocky coastline and quirky charm that draws six million visitors annually from around the planet. These shots take you backstage during the world-famous Pageant of the Masters and its "living pictures." My shutter captures the birthplace of skimboarding and the oldest surfing and beach volleyball contests. And my lens brings you inside the world's second-smallest cathedral for a Sunday mass.


I received the 2023 "Best News Photo" from the Orange County Press Club and was a finalist in the 2021 Epson International Pano Awards. My photos prompted President Obama to add Laguna's offshore rocks to the California Coastal National Monument and The Christian Science Monitor, Digital Photo Magazine, and The Surfer's Journal have published my work. 


I have secured a community-backed platform from organizations and social media influencers pledging their marketing support. The proposal includes endorsements from Laguna lovers California State Assemblywoman Cottie Petrie-Norris, Westways Magazine and the Surfrider Foundation.


Sincerely,
Mitch Ridder

rjprest
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Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Post by rjprest » August 12th, 2023, 8:23 pm

Many thanks for any feedback you can offer on my query!

---

Dear [agent],

A man faking amnesia is snared in a crackbrained scheme to save a Yorkshire café, where he must learn to forgive himself or risk blowing his second shot at love and life.

Welcome to the Headingley Lane Coffee House, where things are about to get a little out of hand and bankruptcy forever looms on the horizon. Madison is faking amnesia to escape his dead-end life, but gets stuck serving cappuccinos after losing all his money in a pub brawl. After the owner drops dead in the back room, Madison is swept up in an uneasy conspiracy to keep the bank at bay. With an American chain threatening to put the coffee house out of business, a loan shark itching to break someone's tibia, and the spark of unexpected romance poised to upend his secrets, Madison must find the courage to take responsibility for his past so that he can commit to a better future.

HEADINGLEY LANE COFFEE HOUSE, my upmarket debut, bridges the ‘small is beautiful’ sentiment of Libby Page’s MORNINGS WITH ROSEMARY or Freya Sampson’s THE LAST CHANCE LIBRARY with the humor and redemption of Frederik Backman’s ANXIOUS PEOPLE. The 80,000-word novel’s uplifting narrative and satirical exposé of coffee culture may appeal to book clubs, while the setting in small town Yorkshire during the 2009 Great Recession provides an arm’s length mirror for today’s readers to laugh through uncertain times.

As a Canadian writer, my interest in Headingley began while studying at the University of Leeds, where I learned that the village once held an oak tree so large the Vikings named the entire district Skyrack in its honor. I have published short fiction and non-fiction in publications such as The Globe and Mail, Canada’s national newspaper, and the North Shore Writers’ Association Anthology, which included my prize-winning short story, A QUOTA OF CONVERSATION.

I have attached a brief synopsis and an excerpt from HEADINGLEY LANE COFFEE HOUSE, which I have submitted to a select number of agents. A completed manuscript is available upon request.

Thank you for taking the time to consider representing my novel.

Yours sincerely,

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