Query critique 12/9/23

Offer up your page (or query) for Nathan's critique on the blog.
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Nathan Bransford
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Joined: December 4th, 2009, 11:17 pm
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Query critique 12/9/23

Post by Nathan Bransford » February 6th, 2023, 2:23 pm

Want to see how your editing approach compares to mine?

Below is the query up for critique on the blog on Thursday. Feel free to chime in with comments, create your own redline (please note the "font colour" button above the posting box, which looks like a drop of ink), and otherwise offer feedback. When offering your feedback, please please remember to be polite and constructive. In order to leave a comment you will need to register an account in the Forums, which should be self-explanatory.

I'll be back with my own post on the blog and we'll literally be able to compare notes.

Dear [agent name],

We all have things we regret in our life. Things that haunt our sleep and deprive us of peace. And all those actions we take that lead to those regrets are influenced by our surroundings, are they not? Or does the blame fall solely on us?

A BLAMELESS MURDER is a 65,000 words literary fiction novel that explores the life of a nameless girl in a nameless world in hopes of understanding why she became a killer at nineteen. It dives into her reasoning as to why she did what she did while the girl tries to guide the reader through every event in her life.

It is a conversation and it starts as if she’s talking to the reader; explaining how her whole life leads her to become that person at that specific point in time, much like The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe.

When I saw that one of your favorite authors was Carlos Ruiz Zafron I knew I had to query you. I grew up reading his work back when I was a little girl in the Dominican Republic.

I have included the first ten pages of my manuscript per your request. Please note that even though the book starts with quotation marks that are never closed in this short excerpt, it is not a typo.

Thank you so much for your time.
Sincerely,
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