Query critique 7/15/21

Offer up your page (or query) for Nathan's critique on the blog.
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Nathan Bransford
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Query critique 7/15/21

Post by Nathan Bransford » July 12th, 2021, 12:22 pm

Want to see how your editing approach compares to mine?

Below is the query up for critique on the blog on Thursday. Feel free to chime in with comments, create your own redline (please note the "font colour" button above the posting box, which looks like a drop of ink), and otherwise offer feedback. When offering your feedback, please please remember to be polite and constructive. In order to leave a comment you will need to register an account in the Forums, which should be self-explanatory.

I'll be back with my own post on the blog and we'll literally be able to compare notes.

If you'd like to enter a query for a future Query Critique, please do so here.

Dear Ms. Ageny

I'm reaching out to you because we met briefly at the **** SCBWI Conference when you and ******* were promoting ************. It's such an entertaining, beautiful book and I loved your vision with the story's potential.
Similar in style , I'm hoping you might be interested in taking a look at my debut MG fantasy, The Dreamseeker. (Side note- it's been 10 years because I've been focusing on motherhood.)


When strange things start happening in her sleepy, countryside parish, 12-year-old Sophie Harker wonders why she's the only one noticing. Everyone is forgetting things, from what they were just doing- to more importantly- the kingdom's royal family! Even her own adoptive parents are affected. And no one, but her, seems to care that all of the children have also suddenly disappeared! After learning the kingdom is under an evil curse of forgetfulness and that she might be the one prophesied to break the curse and save The Royals, Sophie must embark on a heart-led quest, traveling on foot by day, and through the dream realm at night. With a little bit of hope, a smidge of magic, and some unexpected help from really high places, she might just do it...and perhaps, find out who she really is along the way.

The Dreamseeker is 59,000 words and stands alone as a debut novel. I'm currently doing research for my next book with series potential. I pursued writing as a hobby in college, but focused on Communications and non-profit work until recently.

I’d be delighted if you would consider The Dreamseeker for representation. Thank you very much, and hope to talk to you soon.

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