NEW - Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Offer up your page (or query) for Nathan's critique on the blog.
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Joined: May 6th, 2021, 9:28 pm

Re: NEW - Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Post by Melisssgissy » May 6th, 2021, 9:49 pm

Title: I’m Sober... So Now What? A Journey of Hope and Healing

Genre: Non-Fiction

First 250 words-

Chapter 1 My Name is Melissa and I am an alcoholic

My dance in and out of the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) rooms started with attending meetings with a boyfriend over two decades ago. He was ready to admit that he was powerless over alcohol and that his life had become unmanageable. I was smitten with him but I had no intentions of joining his journey. I was just there to be with him and support him. I wasn’t powerless over alcohol, not in my mind anyway. “I have Italian and Irish genes; we just like to drink”, I would always say.

I came from a family that had several functional alcoholics. Alcohol was served at just about any gathering I attended, including church, and most of my friends and coworkers throughout my life drank heavily. Most social events would start with “pre-gaming” as we would call it and carried all the way through until I was usually puking or passing out. Then the next day we would all put the pieces together of the night before and have a good laugh at our shenanigans, usually while partaking in “the hair of the dog that bit us”. If a dinner had ended and someone was leaving the table with alcohol remaining in their glass, I would down it and say something clever like “waste not, want not” or “let me help you get your money’s worth” or “it’s five o’clock somewhere”.

That level of drinking was normal to me. In my mind I wasn’t in trouble like the boyfriend was.

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Joined: December 7th, 2009, 9:45 pm

Re: NEW - Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Post by pabrown » June 19th, 2021, 2:18 pm

Title: Gabriel's Fire
M/M Romantic suspense

Some people just deserve to die. Gabe found that out early in life that god made mistakes.
His mother lit into him before he even finished his late breakfast.
Gabriel Rios refused to look up from his cold cereal, when she curtly told him, “You’ll get a real breakfast when you get out of bed before noon.”
Never mind he’d been studying until two for an exam on Monday. Instead, he kept his gaze down on the pages of his current textbook, Quantum Field Theory.
“I like Cheerios,” he muttered. “Though sometimes it would be nice to have Captain Crunch.”
“Sometimes I don’t think you want to be part of this family anymore.” Relentlessly stirring the pot of champurrado simmering on the stove top, she frowned at him. The cloying smell of cinnamon and chocolate filled the kitchen. “It’s Thanksgiving. I’d think you’d want to spend today at home with your family instead of out cavorting with your friends. What would your father say?”
“They’re not friends,” he finally said. “They’re classmates and we’re studying for Fischer’s exam.” He wanted to say the guy was a ball breaker, but that would get him grounded for the next decade, even though he was twenty. Instead, he muttered, “And father would say he wanted me to go to college and have a better life than he had.”
“There is nothing wrong with the life we gave you!”
“Don’t you dare talk about my papa that way!” Maggie, his bratty fourteen-year-old sister had to chime in.
GK Parker

History like you've never seen

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