Looking for a beta(s)

Critique partners are worth their weight in gold. So (checking financial page) like $20,000 a pound.
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PoppysInARow
Posts: 11
Joined: February 13th, 2010, 1:04 am
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Looking for a beta(s)

Post by PoppysInARow » February 13th, 2010, 7:38 pm

Hey y'all. I'm looking for a few people to look over my YA fantasy at 71K. I'm looking for someone harsh, because I need honest critics if I ever hope to get any better. I'll paste a description below, and if you're interested please PM me your email adress and I will send you the first chapter. If we feel we're a good match, then we'll go from there. I'm just looking for a look at characterization, plot, flow, tension, ect.

Thank you.

Cursed with a weak heart, Jonah could die at any moment. It doesn't help that his Magik eats away at his lifespan every time he uses it, either.

Jonah just wants to spend his remaining days in the monastery-- however long they may be. But when all the children in his village disappear in a cloud of green smoke, Jonah is sent on a mission to bring them back. It's a mission Jonah is sure he won't live through.

He quickly learns that the Order of Grie is responsible for the missing children, not just in his village but across the country. The Order is a group of religious fanatics who plan on using the children's youth in a ceremony to resurrect the God of Death to destroy the impure. As Jonah delves into the corruption, selfishness and pollution of the outside world, he learns the Order may be closer to him than he thought. And the kidnapped children may have just been a rouse to lure him into a trap.

Jonah just may have the advantage of facing a God of Death. He is, after all, walking the fine lines between life and death. But he'll have to stop the Order and halt the resurrection of a god before his heart gives out-- which may leave him less time than he thought.
Insert Witty Signature Here.

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TiffanyNeal
Posts: 12
Joined: February 12th, 2010, 12:39 am
Location: Keller, TX
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Re: Looking for a beta(s)

Post by TiffanyNeal » February 13th, 2010, 8:01 pm

Hey! I just finished my MS and I'm working on my query here: viewtopic.php?f=12&t=833
If it sounds interesting, I am definitely looking for a beta.
My email is tiffanyaneal@yahoo.com and my blog is http://tiffanyneal.blogspot.com

I'm about to go grab something to eat, but I'll have my phone on my, so you can email me if you'd like. I've actually never had a beta before, nor have I been one for someone, but you gotta start somewhere, right? :)

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