divorcee vs. ex-wife, space aliens

Critique partners are worth their weight in gold. So (checking financial page) like $20,000 a pound.
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JohnDurvin
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divorcee vs. ex-wife, space aliens

Post by JohnDurvin » May 15th, 2011, 5:10 pm

I'm in desperate need of a beta-reader that would want to read my novel. I've passed out manuscripts to everyone I know that would take it, and I haven't gotten much useful feedback. "I JUST NEED SOME SPACE", 113,000--I know it's long, but sci-fi is supposed to be epic, damn it. Anybody care to swap chapters? Or if it's too long for you, read until you can't stands no more and let me know why. Here's the admittedly cheesy-sounding summary from my current query letter:

Near-omnipotent aliens from distant space are considering donating their advanced technology to the people of Earth, but only if the randomly-selected test crews can prove the species worthy. Cost-management specialist Shapiro Townsend is abducted by an eccentric entrepreneur, Captain J. Lourdes Mastromonico, to be the vice-president of an interstellar import-export business that the Captain thinks will show the benefactors what the human race is worth. But when the Captain disappears, it’s up to Shapiro to rally the eclectic crew—a retired drag queen, a mute savant pianist, two six-year-olds, a misanthropic farmer, and the ship’s cat—and track down their fearless leader before the Captain’s unbalanced ex-wife and a cabal of bombastic rival aliens shut the business down—permanently.
Everybody loves using things as other things, right? Check out my blog at the Cromulent Bricoleur and see one hipster's approach to recycling, upcycling, and alterna-cycling (which is a word I just made up).

jenna234
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Re: divorcee vs. ex-wife, space aliens

Post by jenna234 » June 4th, 2011, 6:50 pm

Hey, I'd love to help. I'm in the middle of massive rewrites so it wouldn't be equal sharing, although I'd be more then willing to hit you up when I've got something readable. My dad left me with a love of space opera so I'd really like to help get another one out there!

the_seraphim
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Re: divorcee vs. ex-wife, space aliens

Post by the_seraphim » July 24th, 2011, 9:51 pm

I'm writing Sci-Fi that's going to develop into a space opera, ive only got the first 25 pages done so far, but im willing to read yours if you want as long as you read mine as its written, im not looking for mega fast turn around as im not on a deadline, i just need to make sure im on the right track and that its readable and likeable.

hit me up s3raph1m@gmail.com

heres a hook for you from mine if your interested
Alex stood at the edge of the multi-storey car park and looked down; the trees below swayed in the breeze and he could smell the sweet but unpleasant smell from the fields being ploughed just outside of town.

‘Jump’

Closing his eyes he listened to the sounds around him. He could hear some baby birds on the rooftop opposite, the distant sound of cars on the freeway, the wind rushing past his ears.

‘Jump’

A tear worked its way down his face as he raised his arms out from his sides and looked up at the sky. There was a shout from below; someone had seen him.

‘Jump’

There it was again; the voice inside his head; the voice he had heard since high school.

‘Jump!’

Alex wept. The voice continued to shout for him to jump. It didn’t always say the same things, and not always with the same force as now, but the intent was always the same. When he stood waiting to cross the road it would tell him to run into traffic, when he used sharp objects it would tell him to turn them on himself, or, like now, if he went anywhere high, it would tell him to jump.

‘Jump!’

Alex screamed “All right! Ill jump!” and he jumped.

As he fell through the air he felt relief; the voice had stopped. He started to laugh; he was still laughing as he hit the ground; face down on the concrete path cracking it around the edges of his body.

Everything was silent, people crowded around in a circle, mumbling to each other, an older woman said “poor thing” and took off her shawl to lay it over his head. She leaned in and then stopped and let out a terrified scream.

“Call an ambulance, he’s not dead!”

Alex took a deep breath and put his hands on the floor either side of his head and lifted himself up, the crowd was speechless. He stood up and wobbled on his feet before leaning against a nearby tree for support. He looked up, 13 storeys he thought I just fell 13 storeys, and I feel fine. He started to laugh again, at first just a little, but then building up to a manic expression of joy.

“Did you see that!?” he asked the shocked crowd gathered around pointing up at the point where he had jumped from “13 bloody storeys high that is! How the s*** am I not street pizza?”

He stretched his arms out, first behind his back then out in front of his chest. “actually,” he said looking confused “that didn’t even hurt…” he looked at the damage done to the path where he landed and then looked at his hands and arms, lifted up his shirt to check his chest, jumped up and down a few times and then rolled his neck back and forth. He looked up at the roof of the car park again and then grinned as he made a dash for the stairs.

Aimée
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Re: divorcee vs. ex-wife, space aliens

Post by Aimée » August 4th, 2011, 4:05 pm

Your novel sounds interesting, and I love the title. Sounds funny. :) I'd love to read it, though I don't have much to exchange, no completed novel, just a handful of short stories that could use a pair of eyes. Email me at cheesepuff5292@yahoo.com if you still need somebody to take a gander at your manuscript.

beeboo15
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Re: divorcee vs. ex-wife, space aliens

Post by beeboo15 » December 4th, 2012, 5:19 pm

Sounds intriguing. Have you gotten enough feedback?

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