Nathan Bransford - The Forums

I'm in my final revision (until I get additional feedback) of my YA/NA fantasy novel, In the Shadow of the Dragon King. Would love some feedback from anyone interested. Right now, I only have the first 12 chapters ready for review. If you are interested, please let me know.

Synopsis:

A secret alliance forged by mages 200 years ago
A realm broken by murder
A boy who stands to lose everything

In the world of Estaria, the realm of Fallhollow is crumbling. An elusive shadow — invisible to the magical sight of the mages — moves stealthily inside her borders, committing unspeakable acts of terror. The mages consult the ancient laws. The paladin and the heir to the coveted throne of Hirth, both unaware of their true identities, must unite to protect those harboring the power to save the realm from annihilation. An envoy is dispatched to the outside world. The waiting begins.

In Havendale, Tennessee, David Heiland — honor student, track star and sole heir to a multi-million dollar estate — leads a normal teenage life with his godmother, Lysbeth Perish. But when a letter arrives from his dead mother, David’s life becomes anything but normal. Within days, David and his best friend, Charlotte Stine, are taken from Havendale and placed in the protective custody of the sorceress, Slavandria, queen of the Southern Forest and guardian of Fallhollow.

But David’s arrival in Fallhollow awakens a second, more feared enemy of the realm, an enemy no one, not even the mages, can kill.

Until now.

With a sworn promise by Slavandria to help him find his parents and return Charlotte home, David agrees to fulfill his destiny and pair with the heir to the throne of Hirth. Under the reluctant but protective care of Sir Trogsdill, a knight of Hirth, David, Charlotte, and four fairies set off on their perilous journey across Fallhollow toward Gyllen Castle — a quest that will bring David even closer to the truth about his family, their ties to Fallhollow and an alliance that has existed for two hundred years.

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com

I loved the first chapter of In teh Shadow of the Dragon King and thought your review of my first section was fantastic, so would you like to exchange more chapters? I know I'm young, but since I'm your target age group I might be able to help and I would love to have more advice on my own work if you would like :-)

Hannah

that would be great! I only have the first 12 chapters that have been revised. my e-mail is kford2007@gmail.com. We can exchange info there.

Your comments are exactly what I am looking for as your age group is the one I'm targeting. I couldn't have asked for a better partner!

Jen

That would be great, Hannah! Since you are my target age group, I can't think of a better partner.

my e-mail is kford2007@gmail.com. Looking forward to hearing from you. I only have 12 chapters ready to be looked at.

I am looking for another critique partner, and this is the genre I like to read.
Mine is a YA (pushing more to older teenage) Sci-Fi fantasy. I'd really call it a fantasy, but there are a few rides in space-ships involved, so I've been told it's Sci-Fi. Genres, go figure.

I am also near final revision mode, so I'm looking for someone to see overall problems ( and be critical if you don't like something)

Let me know if you are interested, and we can exchange our first chapters to see if we are interested in teaming up for the long-haul.

Hi Jennifer:

I would love to take a look. I've got two critiques going at the moment and am working on my 2nd novel so it may take a few days in between chapters to get back to you. If that's ok, then let's swap our first chapters. I'd love to take a look at what you have. It sounds kind of fun. :-) My first chapter is posted on my blogsite so you can view it there if you'd like to see if it is something you'd like to read.

Jen