Looking for a YA Crit Partner

Critique partners are worth their weight in gold. So (checking financial page) like $20,000 a pound.
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dayanastockdale
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Location: Grass Valley, California
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Looking for a YA Crit Partner

Post by dayanastockdale » September 23rd, 2010, 5:52 pm

Hello!

I'm on the journey to find one, or a few, crit partners. I'm looking for no holds bared crits, someone that can just give it to me straight and is okay if I do the same for them.

My book is a YA fantasy. I haven't written a query letter yet, but here is a working blurb for ya: And All Her Secrets Shared is about a magical mermaid named Syedahl living in a dark, deep-water city. Syedahl is forbidden to be with the boy she loves because he is a warrior and she is Hea (magical) and is only allowed to mate with another Hea when her ruler decides its time to produce a proper heir. Syedahl meets another mermaid who claims to be a human, which is absurd and impossible. Syedahl takes this "human," Joanne, to meet her father, but when he attacks her and tries to read her mind, Syedahl protects Joanne. The next sunless day, a Hea who ditched his ruler ten years ago and is now a fugitive, tells Syedahl to leave her city and to take Joanne with her. Syedahl actually does it, leaving the boy she loves and everything she's ever known behind. Together, Syedahl and Jo take off an adventure to discover who could have figured out how to transform humans--something not even the most powerful Hea knows. As they travel to warmer, more beautiful Seas, seeking answers and evading capture, one will face her dark side and the other will find the light.

Its about 65,000 words at this point. Here is the beginning, or the tentative beginning. It starts with Joanne's POV:
Lily says I’m a scene girl, but I say I’m Old Hollywood plus punk.
Lately though, its just been black black black. Its not that I’m turning goth or black-cat-camera-eye (that’s what me and Lil call those slam poetry types). I’m not trying to mourn him before he’s gone. I’m not trying to do anything.
When I wake up and get dressed, I might wear a bright green t-shirt around the house, but I can’t get myself to go outside wearing anything but black, and maybe a little olive green.
“I’m glad you picked that one,” Tessa says.
I look down at my lavender dress. I haven’t worn it in forever. “Yeah, me too.”
Tessa scoots in between Dad-and-Mom-and-their-own-little-world and me.
“You excited?” I ask.
“Yeah! I love clowns,” she squeals.
“The acrobats are my favorite.”
Tessa laughs, remembering when I broke my wrist in gymnastics. But I’ve got her beat in dance.
I look at the militant clones of ripples. I’ve been subject to Dad’s obsession with the ocean for so long. We live as close to it as we can afford. He used to surf and dive all the time, and when we go on vacation, its always a cruise. Dad is always as close to the ocean as he possibly can be. A banker that should have been a marine biologist. Mom is a speech therapist who should’ve been a painter, but she stopped painting when my real Dad left.
Dad’s always drawn to the ocean. We’re tugged along.
I have completely rewritten the book. I call this my fifth and a half draft. Ideally, I'd love to swap crits with someone who has written a YA fantasy or paranormal and is in at least the 2nd draft stage, only because I think there is a lot we can do on our own. But I'm open to reading anything that is YA and at any draft. I want to swap full MSs, but first I think its best if we do 50 pages to start and see how it works. If someone isn't getting much from the crits, then we'll break the deal, no hard feelings. If it works out then we can do the whole shabang.

You can find me here:
http://dayanastockdale.blogspot.com/
Email me @ dayanamay (at) yahoo (dot) com
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androidblues
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Location: Albuquerque,NM
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Re: Looking for a YA Crit Partner

Post by androidblues » September 30th, 2010, 6:25 pm

I haven't written any fantasy novels, just a bunch of shorts, but I have written a realistic fiction. Is that alright? Your story has an interesting premise, glad it isn't just romance boy meets girl forbidden love thing.
http://www.thebooklantern.com

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

I never want to hear the screams of the teenage girls in other people's dreams.

In the real word as in dreams, nothing is quite what it seems.

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dayanastockdale
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Joined: September 19th, 2010, 9:10 pm
Location: Grass Valley, California
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Re: Looking for a YA Crit Partner

Post by dayanastockdale » October 4th, 2010, 3:53 pm

Hey there! Let's talk more. Why don't you email me a blurb about your story and maybe the first page? dayanastockdale (at) gmail (dot) com.

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